'Forced' social isolation?

[hollowone]

Ever been in that situation where you want to be out and about but have no-one available to meet up with and no-one to visit? Do you find this happens too often due to not having many friends or your social circle getting smaller?

I say 'forced' isolation if the only two choices you face when you've no-one to visit or meet up with are;

• Stay in
• Go to a pub (where you know no-one) alone (yikes!)

Due to there not being any other options in your local area during those times you have no-one to meet up with & when you have no-one to visit. Many people are in this situation due to there not being a THIRD choice during those times.

Third choices
These would be things you can go to alone on those evenings when you have nobody to meet up with where there's other in the same boat; like dance classes, games nights, language exchanges, various other things (brain storm opportunity).

RE 'pub where you know no-one' (no community anymore)
This is a reality for a lot of people. Many people don't know people in their communities they can bump into down the local. Many people don't know people in the neighborhoods they live they can bump into if they pop into the pub. There is no community anymore.

You can't blame people for not 'getting out there'
Given that this is a reality for many people across the country, it's no wonder loneliness is an epidemic.

Mini rant; against-individualism
There's this assumption that people are lonely because it's THEIR fault and THEY'RE CHOICE that they're the ONLY factor. People do not ACKNOWLEDGE that what I've been bringing up could be the case.

Lots of people are in this situation
Lot's of people are in this situation; no-one to meet-up with or visit, nowhere to go where they could bump into people they know. This is the REALITY for a lot of people; SA or not. Something bizarrely people NEVER complain about, even if they're miserable, even if they're getting depressed & losing motivation. Even if they're turning to booze & drinking alone. People would rather admit these, the SYMPTOMS of the problem than address the root cause. THIS ****ING TABOO AGAINST LONELINESS HAS GOT TO STOP!!

I hate being FORCED to stay in due to the only alternative being going into a pub alone due to having no-one to meet-up with, visit or bump into. I know many people are in this boat. I hate this excess individualism that stops us acknowledging the root cause.

Third choices
If you have any ideas for third choices for people in this situation do feel free to use this thread as a brainstorm.

Many sub-topics here, scuse the ranting, something I'm passionate about.

[Quicksand]

Agreed there is 'no community any more' but there are those who do try to keep it going for others as best they can. my helper says society is changing - it is - i'm not sure for the better..?

but really q glad mine is an older teenager - thankfully her head appearing to be screwed on nice-and-tight in sensibleness - and i'm not bringing her up as a youngster below age 10 in this changing society. it must be a nightmare for those parents who are. shiver.

but i know you're referring to those of us on our own. its a tricky minefield out there to get it right for each situation.

[Dougella]

^ Churches and church groups still exist in a lot of places, but maybe people being generally less religious means that they're not likely to go there to seek social contact unless they've been brought up in that particular religion.

[Sisyphus]

Hi silenus,

There are secular churches that do all the social interaction without any mythical requirements. Not so much atheiest as ignostic.

Someone I used to know went to one, however my memory is so poor that I have no recollection of what they call themselves.

Maybe it will surface in time.

[hollowone]

Hello again,

what I was on about is that there's a lack of places and events that you can just drop without having to have friends with you. Apparently in the past, there used to be a lot more, dances, many other things like that which you could just drop into. If only there were meetup style things, dance classes, game nights & other things like that.

It's bizarre, it doesn't seem to be on the radar of most communities that there are people who'd like to be out, but don't have anyone to meet up with. The reality is a lot of people are lonely and unhappily isoltaed because there's NO CHOICE (unless you consider sitting on a pub on your own to be a choice).

RE community;
One the other topic about 'locals', I was really referring to a broader thing; 'nodding acquaintances', informal meeting places, being able to bump into people. This doesn't just apply to pubs, but anywhere that people can gather and see each other regularly. It's that which we're losing.