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  #1  
Old 27th July 2018, 02:08
RevereTheStars RevereTheStars is offline
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Default My Present Situation

Hi everyone,

I am quite confused in life at the moment. I started to become depressed and socially anxious again about 3-4 years ago. It has slowly built up around me, but has reached a peak this year.

I slowly stopped going out. At the moment, I don't really go out of the house alone. The only time I really go out is if I am with someone, or drive to visit my dads house. Other than that, I find it incredibly hard to push myself to go out for anything. Because of this, I stopped working a couple of months ago. I haven't been to my local town in months because I can't bear to bump into people that know me.
I haven't looked into financial help/benefits yet but I know that I need help in this area, because I simply could not continue a job in sales anymore. I stopped being able to face customers.

Also, because I've been staying in the house, I'm not moving as much, and I've piled weight on in the few months. This is adding to my anxiety about going out. My self-esteem and self-image is very low now.
I can't believe the change which has occurred in myself. A few years go, I was feeling on top of the world, and full of confidence.

I do still have interests, and I enjoy learning things, which is a big plus. If I'm honest, the depression side of things is really looking up at the moment. This has allowed me to see the difference between the depression and the anxiety.

I know that eating healthier, and perhaps doing some sort of exercise/activity at home would really help. I just need to find the motivation to care for myself. One thing that has been one of the most positive features in my life is meditation.
Anyway, thank you if you read this far. I think it's helped me just to get my thoughts out
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  #2  
Old 27th July 2018, 10:29
Aelwyn Aelwyn is offline
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Default Re: My Present Situation

Hello and welcome.

I'm sorry you're feeling like this, but it's good that you have some insight into your anxiety, and that you realise the problem can get worse if you don't do something to try to tackle it.

Agoraphobia can be a terrible disability, and for that reason I would strongly suggest you make yourself go out of the house every day, even if it's just for a few minutes. I do have some understanding of this, as in the past, after being stuck inside ill for a few weeks, I found it difficult to go out. If you keep pushing yourself it does get easier after a while. No-one can do it for you.

I think if the anxiety has reached such a level that you have had to give up work, it is time for you to talk to your GP about it. Are you living with family, and do they know how you are feeling?
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  #3  
Old 27th July 2018, 23:17
RevereTheStars RevereTheStars is offline
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Default Re: My Present Situation

Thanks for the advice Aelwyn. Beautiful name, by the way.

Yes, I know that you are right. My husband and family are aware of the situation, and are pretty supportive. I have already been to the GP. They have told me that they put me on the waiting list for CBT (2 year waiting list). I made the decision not to take medication, and so there was nothing more they could do for me.
I meditate regularly, and find it an invaluable tool, and I have had a couple therapy sessions.

I know you are right about getting out of the house alone, and building it up. I went shopping and for lunch with my husband today in the city next to ours. I know that my fears are around going out alone, and within my own area/city. If I am with someone, and away from home, I'm alot better.
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  #4  
Old 27th July 2018, 23:57
AutumnJesster AutumnJesster is offline
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Default Re: My Present Situation

Hi again, I couldn't resist replying to your post as your current situation is a lot like mine. When I started uni after secondary school I slowly built up some confidence in myself. Although I did still prefer to do a lot of things at home, I went out a few times with uni friends or stayed behind for studying etc, and when I became pregnant in my second last year I got the strongest urge to do better. I was a bit more confident speaking out in lectures, but I spent less and less time with friends.

When I graduated, I decided to become a full-time mum. I didn't want to do a masters when I had a 1 year old, because I would be travelling farther away for what I maybe wanted to do. Plus the thought of travelling somewhere unknown by myself got me a little more than nervous.

Anyway, I loved my new role and embraced it fully, and started getting out of the house a lot more, and liking who I was. Until my son was about 3 and a half. I don't know exactly why - prob a good few factors as there usually tends to be, but I stopped going out by myself, I hardly saw anyone outside of close family (my mum/stepdad/partner/his mum/my son) - I had even stopped talking to my best friend for a couple of years.

Most recently, when my son started school I went back to college to get a few extra computer skills in the hope of now getting back to bring a working girl. I remember feeling like all the progress I had made several years before had been wasted. I started taking mouth spasms during class discussions, when I got too nervous to speak out.

I've been working since January, and even now break out in a sweat it my boss of someone talks to me, haha. I 'm getting a bit better, but I still dread it if I have to ring someone, and if it isn't urgent then I wait until everyone else has gone to lunch (I work part time).

I pretty much don't go anywhere in my own. My partner leaves me to and from work. I just feel like a mess and I'm losing control.

Thank you for sharing your story, so thought I'd share mine - hope you didn't get bored. It really does help to get it all out!
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  #5  
Old 28th July 2018, 00:22
Chocobear Paws Chocobear Paws is offline
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Default Re: My Present Situation

As a short-term practical step maybe you could buy an exercise stepper/bike online and then you could exercise in private without the stress of having to go outside or be seen etc. I find it can help anxiety to burn off extra adrenaline and some weight loss might give you a boost too. It helped me when I was in a funk similar to the one you describe.
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  #6  
Old 28th July 2018, 22:47
RevereTheStars RevereTheStars is offline
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Default Re: My Present Situation

Hi AutumnJesster - I can see what you mean about the similarity between our situations, how our life circumstances changed. You shouldn't feel as though the progress you have made was wasted. Anything that you have ever achieved can not be taken away from you, even though you are going through a hard time right now. I do understand the feeling though.
As an outsider, I think it's great that you are maintaining work and life, even though there are challenges therein. That shows a fighting spirit in my book. I hope that I will be able to do the same. Thanks for sharing x

That is very good advice, thankyou Chocobear. I know that you are right - Doing some exercise at home and eating a bit healthier would really provide me with the right foundation to improve and feel better. I think it is the main key in building confidence in myself. I think I will look for short exercise vids on youtube.
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  #7  
Old 29th July 2018, 21:31
AutumnJesster AutumnJesster is offline
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Default Re: My Present Situation

Thanks for your kind reply RevereTheStars. I am definitely going to try and get out more. I think focusing on one thing at a time is better for me, so I might try taking a walk around the block every day if I can. Hope the exercise vids work for you :-). I do them every so often as well. Plus it can make you feel a little more social and connected with the world, which also helps break down barriers. Good luck!
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  #8  
Old 30th July 2018, 21:59
RevereTheStars RevereTheStars is offline
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Default Re: My Present Situation

Thankyou Lump - What you have just described is exactly as it is. I do realise now that if I had taken care of myself physically, it would have been a lot easier to ease my way back into everyday life. I just have to see this as a fresh start, and take it little by little. I will definitely take your advice.

That sounds like a good plan Jesster. I agree about taking things a step at a time. I think that is the best wayt, and that is what I am going to do too. I did a short exercise video yesterday, and the endorphins felt great. I wish you luck too We can do this.
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