Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

[Cairn]

Originally Posted by Ichigo

huge bazookas

Soz.

[Cairn]

Originally Posted by Victoria Lucas

I'm tired of dancing. My son keeps demanding that I dance for him. I feel like a ho.

[Cairn]

I've just seen video's of pro kickboxer Andrew Tate from Big Brother beating a woman and wanking in public.

Now we all know why the narcissistic, psychopathic piece of shit was chucked out the house.

That poor wench is terrified of him. She's actually got a tat of the ***** name on her groin and was clearly in genuine distress in that video.

And the video of him jerking off in the fecking street while people and transport go past, wtf.

It was obvious that the bloke has something missing and I've no idea why they let him in the house.

The mans genuinely dangerous.

Hopefully he'll be arrested now and that poor wench can escape before he kills her or something.

[Cairn]

lol I thought the guy in the next video whacking it in public was Tate. Certainly looks like him but it's not.

Anyway, some people seem to think that the blonde wench has agreed to be beaten by Tate and actually enjoys it.

Sorry, but she looks distressed to me, and terrified of the bloke, and in no way like she actually wants to do that shit.

[Cairn]

[David K]

^

[Mo34]

Take care Johnny

[Cairn]

Originally Posted by Johnny88

I was just loooking at me uncle's friebd's legs thinking about banging her over table while she was talking to me.
I think I need help.

Originally Posted by Johnny88

I got drunk and was gonna commit suicide.
my family got involved and shit.
**** it.

Johnny you've got to come off the booze.

It's fine getting more than a bit pissed if you can just stick to friday and saturdays like a lot of folks can do, but for some of us we just can't control it.

It took me thinking I had the same cancer that killed my uncle a couple of years earlier to stop (yes I now I'm fat as a pig and est loads of carcinogenic grub )

You're a good looking bloke and you're funny without the booze, and you seem pretty intelligent too. You've had a beautiful missus so you can find another nice wench again and get your shit together I'm sure, but booze breaks the strongest of people.

I don't know if you're just a heavy drinker with a problem or if you're an actual alcoholic, but you've got to take control of the drinking because you don't need it and you can have a better life without it.

[Cairn]

Originally Posted by Ichigo

just look at that steak/lung Cairn was eating... thats your liver if you keep on drinking. dont do it Johnny its not worth it.

Now I want to eat his liver with a nice bottle of Dr Pepper and some Heinz baked beans.

Originally Posted by Johnny88

I was crying telling my mam last night nothing helps. The woman has just rang, they want to assess me.

How long have you been drinking for and what's the longest you've been without it recently?

You can definitely beat the booze mate you're stronger than me and you don't need it, and you WILL feel better without it and want to do other things more when it's out of your life.

I'm happy with a few coffees now and would be gutted even if I had half a lager tbh.

You're too good to go down the path of an alcoholic mate.

[Cairn]

Originally Posted by Johnny88

I've got no choice mate.
body and mind have give up.
ill probably be ok tomorrow but it will keep coming.

The cravings are a bastard, and that agitation you get when you get the compulsive thoughts telling you to fetch booze.

I was never an alcoholic but maybe you are and it's tougher for you.

I do see in you a bloke who's got more going for him than me and you really don't need that shit Johnny.

If I can jack it in and feel better, so can you and feel even better.

Let us know how you get on when you go to the hospital and what they have to say.

Look after yourself mate.

[blancmange]

Originally Posted by Muggins

Yes, they are extremely addictive and I've become physically and pychologically dependent on them to the point of not being able to think of much else other than when I can get my next fix.

At first the Lorazepam was fantastic - I was able to do all of the things that SA had previously prevented me from doing. Most of my life achievements (work, study, relationships/marriage, being a mother, travelling) I doubt I'd have been able to accomplish without my chemical prop. But I think it has all come at a high price.

I built up a tolerance and instead of taking just one pill, I would need two for the same effect, then three, then four...

Within an hour of taking Lorazepam I would feel slightly high, like I was floating on air. Any worries became less important and I'd feel I could face many of the things that I'd otherwise steer clear of. However, when the Lorazepam wore off my mood would come crashing down and I'd feel tearful and incredibly depressed. I'd zonk out on the bed just wanting to sleep.

Also my memory became increasingly foggy. This for me has been one of the most debilitating side effects and I fear the damage is irreversible. My ability to vividly recall conversations and events while under the influence has been shot to pieces. I went from being able to study for a degree to struggling to put a simple sentence together. Writing here takes literally forever!

Now, unless I pop a pill I don't sleep a wink. I lay awake all night worrying and in pain. If you spend a big percentage of your life taking something that physically and psychologically numbs you then when that numbness fades away every tiny twinge and ache starts to feel like a knife cutting through me. If I attempt to stop taking the Lorazepam I suffer stomach cramps, hot sweats, and severe nausea and an anxiety far far greater than the social anxiety the pills were initially given to me to alleviate. Instead of taking Lorazepam to relieve the SA I now take it just to stop myself from feeling like I'm dying. And I do sometimes think that what I once thought were my little miracle pills may one day be the death of me

But I really don't mean to come across all preachy by saying all benzo's are evil. I doubt there is any Doctor now, worth his salt, who would hand out such highly addictive drugs willy nilly.



As New Dawn says, when put aside for emergencies or used sparingly for a very short period lorazepam can be a godsend. I've tried countless medications over the years, mainly anti d's, and none of them have reduced the anxiety as successfully as Lorazepam has. Used correctly they can be incredibly helpful and if you take them only very occasionally then I'm sure they may be of benefit to you, Dimplesxo . Unfortunately my Doctor dished them out to me like smarties for years on end and I am ashamed to say that I went from being an occasional user to a full blown drug addict

Right, I'll get off me soap box now. Bet you regret asking me about my experiences now, Newbie and Dimplesxo


Good Luck Dimplesxo

I'm really sorry to hear of your bad experience That truly sounds awful and it's terrible how your doctor just gave you them so flippantly. I'm under strict orders to only take one and for only certain things .... I'm moving out soon and have to view the flat so that is something I need help with/will take lorazepam for. Hopefully it'll be helpful.

Thanks for wishing me luck, I'll let you know how I get on.

[Silent Ninja]

Hope the mental health workers can be of some help to you Johnny88.

[Fantastical]

Take care of yourself Johnny.

---

Don't want to be here with R. Argh!

[Rocket Spud]

Bloody hell, it's raining some ..

Dog thinks it's going to thunder, she's shaking next to me :/

[laracroft]

im thinking about johnny88. I feel compelled to want to help everyone, but i cant.

[newbs16]

^ I hope he gets some help x

[newbs16]

About going to bed.

[kirbycrackle]

^ just thinking the same about telly what a load of crap, right?

Also want a indoor punchbag as gyms aren't for me and I don't like being hit back haha

@ johnny88 hope you're alright now fella and somewhere safe. Best of luck matey.

[kirbycrackle]

^ looks like the one I was going to get last year but didn't ( regretting it now lol)

Buy that mutha I say

[Rocket Spud]

I had a punchbag once. Hurts your wrists. I barely used it when i found that out.

[Cairn]

Originally Posted by Rocket Spud

I had a punchbag once. Hurts your wrists. I barely used it when i found that out.

Need to wrap your hands/wrist

[Fantastical]

Originally Posted by Ichigo

you always sound like you dont want to be with Roy. Ill call him Roy. do you love him? does he love you?

Don't think either of us have ever mentioned love.

I think he likes having a girlfriend 13 years younger than him who climbs.

I'm not sure how I feel. Sometimes I feel like I don't want to be in a relationship with him but then other times the thought of breaking up just fills me with sadness. Think I struggle with understanding emotions a fair bit, too many years of just containing things and only letting stuff out via self harm.

I'm not sure I'm cut out for coping with relationships. Haven't had a friend since leaving school 10 years ago so being part of a couple is rather hard to deal with some of the time. My social skills have become pretty shit. I can manage casual acquaintance but never anything more - tend to get scared and saboutage things.

I also tend to use here as somewhere to moan about relationship - no one IRL to talk to about it really. So probably portray it in a more negative light on here. Sorry if I always come across negatively - not any other places I can moan really so the steam gets let off here.

[Rocket Spud]

Originally Posted by Cairn

Need to wrap your hands/wrist

Pfft, too much hassle.

You can probably get beginners punchbags. I just got one from Argos, if i remember correctly (this was years ago)

[Mo34]

Really wanted to watch the Wicker Man but don't think I'll make it. Miracle I made it through Graham Norton. I'm turning into an old fart Need my bed.

[Consolida]

Originally Posted by Dimplesxo

I'm really sorry to hear of your bad experience That truly sounds awful and it's terrible how your doctor just gave you them so flippantly. I'm under strict orders to only take one and for only certain things .... I'm moving out soon and have to view the flat so that is something I need help with/will take lorazepam for. Hopefully it'll be helpful.

Thanks for wishing me luck, I'll let you know how I get on.

That's sounds like a very sensible way of taking them Dimplesxo.
All the best with the flat viewing



Am thinking I hope Johnny88 is okay and gets the help that he needs as he comes across as a really nice bloke in his posts

[Pablo Huntsbach]

Just had to go back a page and find out whats up with Johnny. I knew he was drinking a lot but didn't realise things were so bad. Hope things get better, he's one of the good ones.

[newbs16]

Maybe I should try and sleep!

[Silent Ninja]

Originally Posted by Mo34

Really wanted to watch the Wicker Man but don't think I'll make it. Miracle I made it through Graham Norton. I'm turning into an old fart Need my bed.

That's nothing, I've had to start taping Graham Norton and then watching it on Saturday morning, I also start falling asleep when watching Mock the Week sometimes now when I always used to watch Question Time.

[Ronnie_Pickering]

Wondering if I should change my wifi broadcast name.

[newbs16]

About exercising