Does anyone else suffer depression

[waine]

Does anyone else suffer depression not moderate or whatever they prefer to call it but I'm talking about hating yourself unable to accept paralysed state tired all the time

[Progress]

I had depression after a relationship break up. Don't know how severe you would call it but enough to make me give up on life almost completely. I did pretty much nothing for a few years.

[dave81uk]

Yes, recently been diagnosed with Dysthymia which is chronic mild to moderate depression, doctor said people with my condition have an 80% chance of it developing into a serious depressive episode, so thats something to look forward to.

[SocialRobot]

Yip.

What irks me, is people with depression have some great creative talent
e.g. Spike Milligan, Stephen Fry, Winston Churchil, Virginia Woolfe.

Whereas my depression just makes me miserable and want to keep away from people.

List_of_people_with_major_depressive_disorder

[endgame]

Suffer it in cycles.
Last cycle was clinical leading to all manner of terminal thoughts and actions.
Sort of recovered.
Now in therapy to work out reasons for it and thus find a "fix". (I doubt a fix is available, as I believe its ingrained as part of my character.)

Depression not a pleasant experience.
Mental exhaustion from endless thinking.
Physical exhaustion.
Disrupted sleep cycles.
Disrupted eating habits.
Continuous and endless self-criticism.
Inability to construct a way out of the problem.
Inability to reach out to anyone.
Feeling absolutely isolated.

I posted a link to a youtube (Sapolsky class on Depression) which helped me to understand the causes of depression, and the symptoms, and helped me to get a sense of where I was. (Its always good to be able to put a name to aspects and symptoms and its pathology)

If there is an external reason for the depression, eg,. bereavement, etc, it may be one off.
If its internal, ie, biochemical or psychological, you just learn to cope with the extremes of it, and pretend you're ok the rest of the time.
There are ways of coping with the deep depression, although you may find you are never out of it entirely. Good to know if you spot some of the onset symptoms.

[SocialRobot]

Depression is "good for you" (apparently)

[peterjohn]

In the past I have suffered acute and suicidal depression a whole number of times for long periods but now feel that I have become a happy and coping person.

[peterjohn]

Thank you Charlotte87. I'm sorry that you are suffering with anxiety and understandably have a fear of depression.
It's my belief that all such problems can be overcome.
My best wishes
Peter

[Between The Bars]

I think maybe the vast majority of SAUK members suffer from depression! depression is really inevitable for people with SA, because we can't do a lot of the things that we know we are capable of.

that's only my views though & I hope i am wrong!

[waine]

Yes I'm the same scared of depression
I was living like that from age 8 to 23 when forced into the charity shop and it was like oh yes I should take care of myself
my mam helps me a lot

[waine]

Paroxetine helped a lot for a few months removed negative thoughts then wore off unfortunately

[Jacaranda]

I too suffer from depression and suicidal feelings, it's been about 17 years now. Lately I've been feeling so run down that it's a struggle to get out of bed and get dressed.

[Ocean Of Noise]

For me it comes in troughs of varying degree's and has done since I was 17 years old. Back then it was at it's most intense along with anxiety and panic attacks. They usually coincide with a life changing event, new job, being at university (always uni), death in the family, relationship breakdown. They're the peeks and trough of anyone's life and I've learnt to handle them. The suicidal thoughts I find the most difficult to deal with, I've had them since I was 17, and didn't really know what was happening to me along with the panic attacks. After a couple of attempts, I finally got help from my GP and was put on anti-depressants when I was in my early 20's. I dropped out of University, started a new career and became a dad all in a couple of years, then hit rock bottom. Paranoia, self-loathing, highly critical thoughts, suicidal thoughts (always in the morning... I mean the first thought of the morning), difficulty in concerntrating, those same old thought patterns, irritability, needing solitude along with an introspective personality and social anxiety which I believe I've always had..... Difficulty seeing what is what..

I've taken a major dip again since late last year, and that's how I've ended up here.

[Spike]

I'd imagine that with social anxiety it's quite hard even to bring it up with a Doctor. I appreciate that in the most serious cases it tends to unveil itself without the doc having to ask too many questions. But I remember times when I've had something close to severe depression and just been too scared to tell a GP. If anyone has ever just brought it up with their Doctor it would be good to know how they reacted.

[Ocean Of Noise]

Originally Posted by Spike

I'd imagine that with social anxiety it's quite hard even to bring it up with a Doctor. I appreciate that in the most serious cases it tends to unveil itself without the doc having to ask too many questions. But I remember times when I've had something close to severe depression and just been too scared to tell a GP. If anyone has ever just brought it up with their Doctor it would be good to know how they reacted.

Interesting you should ask that because (This thread has brought it all back), that's exactly what happened to me. This was back in 1997 though so things have hopefully moved on.

I saw a new doc, and in one of those excruciating anxious moments when I can't even remember what I said, I explained that I'd read an news story about a drug for shyness. His reaction was one of defeat as I told him about my symptoms, him slumped in his seat and frowning is the only thing I can clearly remember. Not a pleasant scene. He questioned me for some time and it was clear where it was going. Depression. Prozac. 6 months. It took him a while for him needle out of me the admittion that I had suicidal thoughts. But I'm thankful for it now.

I'm not sure how it is now, back then, I didn't know about Social Anxiety... And perhaps the doc wasn't fully informed either. My advise is, be honest with yourself and your doc. However hard that seems, if your floundering like I was, you won't get anywhere.

[Spike]

That sounds fairly consistent with all my visits. I've never felt comfortable enough to mention it, even though it's been beside me since I was 17. I should be grateful that I have managed it okay on my own so far, but one day it would be nice to know I could find help from a doctor.

[Ocean Of Noise]

Originally Posted by Spike

I've never felt comfortable enough to mention it...

Yeah I know that's a big battle. I talked about this with a councillor earlier this year... My social anxiety is far worse with people I know or have regular contact with. Work colleague, teacher, tutor, bank manager absolutely anything official or those I have to deal with on a regular basis, so the fear of social stigma or embarrassment increases and as do my stress levels, and avoidance tactics.

That day in the doctor's surgery, it was a new doctor I'd not met before, so he seemed a little easier to talk with. My theory being 'I could just walk out of here right now and probably never see him again, so who gives a shit'.

I think there was a little bit of kidology going on with the doctor too... He thought I was doing the 'bloke' thing of talking about one thing, but really wanting to talk about something else I suspect. SO around and around we went and ended up with a result. Not a totally satisfactory one, but a result.

[Last Chance Undies]

Originally Posted by Charlotte87

Pet
I suffer more with anxiety. Depression scares me.

When I'm anxious, at least I feel alive. I have physical symptoms that let me know how alive I am but depression brings a numbness, a 'nothing' feeling. I was without emotion. I sound like I've been watching The Never Ending Story too much lol but 'nothing' is how I can describe it. Nothing mattered, not even those who meant everything to me and that's a hard thing to admit to. I am naturally a sensitive person. I cry at the scruffy dogs on the Dogs Trust adverts and at sad films, (I had to turn Marley and Me off, snot was running both barrels) but I stopped crying, I stopped feeling and I hope I never go back there.

A lot of people associate feeling sad with depression. That's not depression in itself. It's normal to feel sad just as it's normal to feel happy. I get days when I feel sad but I'm not depressed. In my case, it took many years of feeling sad to get me to the point where I stopped feeling sad and the 'nothing' took it's place. The sadness, I could cope with. Crying was a physical reaction, I was still responding to life. The 'nothing' was a void which suffocated my life's meaning. I empathise totally with people who are depressed to this degree. People can't possibly know if they haven't been there. In my case, I had to go there to be able to come back. I will never know if someone was watching over me or I was able to drag something up from the depths of my soul but thank fook I did. Life is what you choose to make of it, good moments and bad.

[BobbyDog]

I suffer with depression as well as anxiety.
It only takes one small problem to arise and my mood will instantly plummet, I feel there is no hope, no future, I just want to curl up and die. But, I can also rise out of depression as quickly as I fell into it. Mine comes in really strong waves, like being on a Rollercoaster.

[Progress]

Originally Posted by Spike

I'd imagine that with social anxiety it's quite hard even to bring it up with a Doctor. I appreciate that in the most serious cases it tends to unveil itself without the doc having to ask too many questions. But I remember times when I've had something close to severe depression and just been too scared to tell a GP. If anyone has ever just brought it up with their Doctor it would be good to know how they reacted.

I've been to a GP twice (different ones). I don't remember what they said exactly, but both times I was offered anti depressants (which I didn't want) and referred for therapy, which is what I wanted. My memory is that their reactions were basically matter of fact.

[firemonkey]

I have suffered with major depressive episodes in the past but nowadays it is more chronic and mild/moderate(dysthymic?)

Basically don't have the drive/motivation to commit suicide. The general and social anxiety is a comparatively worse problem. Certainly negatively affects my functioning and QOL

Sometimes i'm reminded of this quote by Stephen Fry

"I don't want to kill myself - i just wouldn't mind dying."

[GhostOnMagneticTape]

Originally Posted by One Foot in the Grave

I think maybe the vast majority of SAUK members suffer from depression! depression is really inevitable for people with SA, because we can't do a lot of the things that we know we are capable of.

that's only my views though & I hope i am wrong!

I think you are right, depression is another unfortunate side effect of having social anxiety especially if left untreated although if one tries to maintain an active life with coping strategies and acceptance against anxiety I'm sure their depression would be minimal or non-existent. I have a friend or two with SA but they seem quite happy and depression free (or I'm led to believe).