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#1
31st January 2024, 17:37
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How good do you think your conversational skills are
Recently I’ve been watching The Circle which made me think of this question.
Throughout the show the way the people interact seems to be in a ‘read between the lines’ way, with hints. There are catfish, since it’s a competition that is done completely through a social media app. People who know how to flirt with others despite being catfish of the opposite sex. But so far I’ve mostly watched the US version. Tbh I would think people who go on the show are people who are really good at having conversations. It made me notice how poor my conversational skills probably are with most people. I wouldn’t know how to flirt and idk how to respond to most jokes, I think I’m literal, although some things do make me laugh sometimes. But maybe I don’t interact enough to build good conversational skills as I do try to read between the lines in conversations. I think I hate if I’m infantilised or treated like I don’t know much but comparing my interaction skills to people on The Circle I guess, to someone with good conversational skills, I would appear deficient in how I interact with others. This is interesting though because I feel maybe very social people might see a socially awkward person as being deficient in the way an academically smart person may see a less academically smart person as not smart. 
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#3
31st January 2024, 19:13
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Re: How good do you think your conversational skills are
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 Probably worded the question the wrong way. Would you say you are good at knowing how to respond in social situations?
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#6
31st January 2024, 22:20
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Re: How good do you think your conversational skills are
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Yeah, definitely shiiiit at conversation- unless I'm completely comfortable with people. I often clam up, but I guess it used to be a whole lot worse when I was selectively mute. So I went from -161772626 out of ten to - 456 out of 10 - that's progress!
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#7
31st January 2024, 22:43
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Re: How good do you think your conversational skills are
My conversational skills are terrible. It’s certainly the main thing that’s held me back in jobs and relationships.
If it’s around people I know incredibly well, I can do ok. A couple of beers can improve it further. Well, beers don’t improve it, but it makes me care less that I talk gibbledegook. A lot of the time I’m speaking, it all comes out strange. What’s in my head usually doesn’t translate to my tongue, and I say all sorts of incoherent rubbish. It leads to people misunderstanding me or getting the wrong end of the stick. I feel it is worsening too.
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#8
31st January 2024, 23:45
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Re: How good do you think your conversational skills are
Not great! Especially if I don't know someone. I try to wing it most of the time. Although most of that time it feels like I'm flailing around trying to find the next word. It's just something that never seems to get easier for me. But again, it is easier if I know someone.
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#13
2nd February 2024, 19:43
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Re: How good do you think your conversational skills are
Pretty decent I think, unless completely paralysed by anxiety. It was definitely something I remember I had to consciously work on and work out though, not natural.
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#14
2nd February 2024, 21:09
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Re: How good do you think your conversational skills are
I'm only capable of the most mind-numbingly inane form of small talk. I'm very slow-witted and don't really do humour, and I couldn't flirt if my life depended on it.
I'm not sure I've ever had a genuinely good conversation. I've had lots where the other person has been saying something interesting, but I don't feel I made much of a contribution, it's always very one sided. I'm good at smiling and nodding whilst the other person talks
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#15
2nd February 2024, 22:32
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Re: How good do you think your conversational skills are
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Although I do have a current special on the subject of fire doors which would probably send you to zzzz land in 10 minutes.
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#16
2nd February 2024, 23:12
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Re: How good do you think your conversational skills are
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Throw in the odd, "hmm" and, "ohhh" and you're golden. Chuck in a, "really?" and you're a 10/10 in their eyes.
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#18
3rd February 2024, 13:56
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Re: How good do you think your conversational skills are
It depends a lot on my level of anxiety and how well I know the other person. Conversation is a joint enterprise, so it also depends on how willing the other person is to keep the convo going.
When the circumstances are right, I think I'm pretty good at making conversation. In some ways the anxiety can be helpful (or rather the social vigilance that comes with SA) as it means I feel attuned to the other person's interests and level of interest in the conversation. It makes me more aware of things like body language cues and tone of voice. Unfortunately, it's a double edged sword because I can over-analyse all of that and it makes me freeze up. The more anxious I am, the more time it takes me to process all of that and it can be a bit of a vicous cycle.
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#19
3rd February 2024, 16:50
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Re: How good do you think your conversational skills are
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#20
4th February 2024, 14:24
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Re: How good do you think your conversational skills are
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#22
5th February 2024, 15:54
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Re: How good do you think your conversational skills are
100% pure keek.
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