How about just forgetting all about social anxiety

[Artificial Rose]

Today things are going around in a vicious circle.
I feel very very anxious, i have to (yet again) go out soon.

When i was out earlier into town, i felt so panicky. I was sitting in my car, trying to feel the "courage" to open the door and get myself out into the world.
What would i need to do to let go of the sa.
Why doesnt it feel impossible to do when in the safety of your home,but impossible once out there.
Sometimes it seems so simple.
*empty your mind
*if an negative/sa thought comes in ur head, kick it straight back out
*dont think
* just.............dont ............................think
*smile (this is hard as often i think i come across as creepy since i look ok'isch only when i smile..otherwise i look too miserable or whatever and i like to smile as that is the only way another person will be friendly to you)

there isnt really a point to this message. Just feeling exhausted with it at the moment. I just want to cut myself but i have to think of my kids and cannot expose them to that. So what to do..mm well i guess posting here.

[Aelwyn]

I'm so sorry you've had a bad day, Autumn. Very glad you posted here.

Do you think it's because you don't go out much that it is getting so difficult? It sounds a bit like agoraphobia. I know that once when I hadn't been out much for several weeks because I was ill, I then did find it daunting the first few times I went out. I felt self-conscious and it was quite an effort. But what I found was that if I went out every day, it did start to wear off.

Are there some things you could do just to get your focus away from your anxiety? Anything creative? Even some cooking or baking (I won't say housework, can't imagine that would lift anybody's spirits!). It could be that you're tired and run down today, think about ways you could be kind to yourself too.

[i_like_mittens]

Originally Posted by Autumn

*empty your mind
*if an negative/sa thought comes in ur head, kick it straight back out
*dont think
* just.............dont ............................think
*smile

Also breathe in and out slowly and focus on relaxing your muscles, particularly shoulders, arms, hands and facial muscles (that helps me a lot). I'm sure you already know this, but it's the kind of thing I tend to forget all the time so it can never be repeated enough times. hehe I used to have agoraphobia and spent a few years rarely coming out of my house... so I know that panicky feeling when going outside.

[steve45]

SA is a chronic condition for most. You just have to cope with it the best you can.

[warmness]

I always try to be like someone else when im out, like my brother for instance, he's so confident and bubbly. when he visits I love how he rubs off on me, I always try to 'steal' some or try and learn from him.

[Ember]

The more time I spend on here, the worse I feel as far as anxiety goes, it's a vicious circle.

[steve45]

Originally Posted by Forgetmenot

In reply to the title, i've found personally i don't suffer as much from social anxiety when it isn't on my mind.
For example, when i was at school and the teacher knew i had difficulty with standing up and speaking in front of the class he one day out of the blue, no warning, asked me to come to the front of the class and stand next to him at his desk. I just did it without thinking and i was amazed that i was able to look at the rest of the class without feeling panicky. And the feeling it gave me was amazing i felt great and confident all of a sudden. He went on to ask me what my subject would be for a talk he was going to ask everyone to do in a few weeks. I answered him whilst looking at the class. I remember a boy sat at the front just pulled a face as if to say "so what". Anyway, afterwards i hated the teacher for doing this to me but i think he did it to try and encourage me and it did make me feel good. However, the talk i had to give weeks later was a complete mess. As i had obviously been building up my anxiety and panick.
So, i think we suffer worse from SA when it's always on our mind. I've learnt and am still learning to occupy my mind with other things. At night sometimes when i'm watching something boring on telly my mind wanders and now and then i can worry about anxiety attacks, so instead i go off to the kitchen to occupy myself with washing up etc and it works. We need something positive to take our minds off SA.

I had to give a speech at university and for the few minutes afterwards I felt amazing - I could look at a crowd of people in the eye with complete calmness, even the girl I had a monster crush on. Is this how "normal" people always feel? Unfortunately SA is not a phobia so the effect wore off very quickly.

[Dandelion10]

Someone a while back posted something similar and she highlighted how you can try to forget SA but it operates on a subconscious almost automatic level.

The physiological signs and symptoms are there whether you choose to ignore them or not. You're right that the way we think is a huge part of it, probably the biggest factor in it's ongoing cycle but there's other deeper layers like behavior that we've become accustomed to and the way we feel about ourselves as a result of those negative thoughts and behaviors.