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  #31  
Old 21st August 2019, 17:42
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco
Try not to beat myself up each time I fail - it's proved the most effective way for me to learn. In fact I wish I had failed a lot more in my youth, but sadly I shied away from far too many opportunities.
I also think that it’s important not to beat ourselves up if we fail at something or make a mistake. It can be an effective way to learn.
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  #32  
Old 21st August 2019, 17:43
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

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Originally Posted by Dougella
^ It sounds like you've been through some very hard things. It's normal for some small children to be more fearful of strangers than others but if you weren't in a good situation anyway no wonder you weren't the most smiley of babies.
I agree...

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  #33  
Old 21st August 2019, 20:45
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

^
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  #34  
Old 23rd August 2019, 17:07
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

If you don't have friends it doesn't mean that you are an awful person. There are lots of horrid people around who have lots of friends who are equally as horrid as them.

If people treat you badly it doesn't mean that you are a bad person and deserve to be treated that way. Their poor behaviour says far more about the type of person that they are than it does about you.

Sometimes it doesn't matter how much effort you put in you, you still don't get anything back. Don't waste your time on people who don't value you.
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  #35  
Old 23rd August 2019, 17:39
Tonkin Tonkin is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Being born into a rich family would've made life a lot eaiser!
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  #36  
Old 23rd August 2019, 17:56
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

^ Maybe in one way, but there are many people from wealthy families who are extremely damaged and who suffered abuse and neglect and who's parents were alcoholics and drug addicts. Just look at the amount of people who were sent to boarding school as children and all the horrors that came with that.
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  #37  
Old 23rd August 2019, 22:00
You Have 0 New Messages You Have 0 New Messages is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

We came up dirt poor. My dad would go overseas for work, sometimes for weeks at a time and literally all we'd have to eat was what was left in the pantry. I remember one week in particular we wound up living on watered down powdered custard with lots of sugar added. Seemed great at first (anything sweet was a rare treat), but it quickly got old. Often sent off to school with no lunch and no money for the cafeteria, then getting bullied because of my rumbling stomach. Thankfully times have changed.
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  #38  
Old 24th August 2019, 13:03
Tonkin Tonkin is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dougella
^ Maybe in one way, but there are many people from wealthy families who are extremely damaged and who suffered abuse and neglect and who's parents were alcoholics and drug addicts. Just look at the amount of people who were sent to boarding school as children and all the horrors that came with that.
Yeah, I'm not disputing that.

Just saying that life would've been a lot easier with richer parents!
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  #39  
Old 24th August 2019, 14:14
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

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Originally Posted by You Have 0 New Messages
We came up dirt poor. My dad would go overseas for work, sometimes for weeks at a time and literally all we'd have to eat was what was left in the pantry. I remember one week in particular we wound up living on watered down powdered custard with lots of sugar added. Seemed great at first (anything sweet was a rare treat), but it quickly got old. Often sent off to school with no lunch and no money for the cafeteria, then getting bullied because of my rumbling stomach. Thankfully times have changed.
That is certainly where growing up with enough money makes a huge difference I'm sorry you went through that.
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  #40  
Old 24th August 2019, 15:09
Percy Percy is online now
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by You Have 0 New Messages
We came up dirt poor. My dad would go overseas for work, sometimes for weeks at a time and literally all we'd have to eat was what was left in the pantry. I remember one week in particular we wound up living on watered down powdered custard with lots of sugar added. Seemed great at first (anything sweet was a rare treat), but it quickly got old. Often sent off to school with no lunch and no money for the cafeteria, then getting bullied because of my rumbling stomach. Thankfully times have changed.
Plenty of kids these days going to school with rumbling tummies and no money for food, sadly.
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  #41  
Old 24th August 2019, 22:05
limey123 limey123 is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Consolida
If you don't have friends it doesn't mean that you are an awful person. There are lots of horrid people around who have lots of friends who are equally as horrid as them.

If people treat you badly it doesn't mean that you are a bad person and deserve to be treated that way. Their poor behaviour says far more about the type of person that they are than it does about you.

Sometimes it doesn't matter how much effort you put in you, you still don't get anything back. Don't waste your time on people who don't value you.
Wise words.
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  #42  
Old 25th August 2019, 10:19
Tonkin Tonkin is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco
In fact I wish I had failed a lot more in my youth, but sadly I shied away from far too many opportunities.
I hear this a lot.

But the things that I did fail at, in social situations mainly, are the things that keep me awake at night.

That is my problem with failing, rather than failing myself.

But sometimes if I had put myself out there more, I would have more bad memories than I do now.

And bad memories and experiences can cause problems down the line.
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  #43  
Old 6th October 2019, 21:29
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

.
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  #44  
Old 7th October 2019, 17:50
Mountainstream Mountainstream is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Bullies are excrutiatingly insecure.
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  #45  
Old 7th October 2019, 18:43
Mountainstream Mountainstream is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Consolida
If you don't have friends it doesn't mean that you are an awful person. There are lots of horrid people around who have lots of friends who are equally as horrid as them.

If people treat you badly it doesn't mean that you are a bad person and deserve to be treated that way. Their poor behaviour says far more about the type of person that they are than it does about you.

Sometimes it doesn't matter how much effort you put in you, you still don't get anything back. Don't waste your time on people who don't value you.

Excellent post Consolida.
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  #46  
Old 13th October 2019, 20:18
Debbie82 Debbie82 is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

saying no to people is ok (I still try and please people but I am getting better at just refusing to put myself in anxiety provoking situations!)

oh and I've also learnt that my SA is less severe when I forget my glasses - it is great when I can't distinguish facial expressions very well! (not so great at helping me complete my tasks at work tho!)
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  #47  
Old 13th October 2019, 20:27
Counterpoint Counterpoint is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Lovely reading these posts.

Self-love is spending time doing what you love to do, not looking in the mirror and repeatedly saying ‘I love myself’.
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  #48  
Old 15th October 2019, 09:57
Lone Dog Lone Dog is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

You can't win, so don't try.
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  #49  
Old 15th October 2019, 11:56
Jimmy77 Jimmy77 is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Don't be too quick to judge people- you never know why they are like that. And people are just so different. In fact, some are like separate species and really can't be judged by the same standard. It's like yelling at a snail for not keeping up with a greyhound in a race.
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  #50  
Old 15th October 2019, 13:41
anxiouslondoner anxiouslondoner is online now
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Don't.
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  #51  
Old 16th October 2019, 00:58
Debbie82 Debbie82 is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

To not be bitter. Accept that sometimes people have off days and that we are all preoccupied with our own issues to some extent - not everyone is going to be understanding all of the time. We are all humans struggling with our own issues. Try not to judge or write people off. Some of my closest friends were people I never understood for a long time. Sometimes it is the people you least expect that will come through for you in times of need. I am thankful to those people for sticking around.
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