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#31
13th February 2011, 00:16
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Re: Being insulted on the street
Yep! It's a sad state of affairs that things have to be like that for some, If i see someone who's overlay nervous. ill try and make a effort to make them feel better maybe not looking at them etc or smiling in a friendly way not take advantage of them don't get why some people need to make other peoples life a misery.
Would love not to care what people say but if you stay in rough places its not really a option. |
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#32
13th February 2011, 18:42
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Re: Being insulted on the street
I have only been insulted in public once, about 6 months ago I was leaving the job centre and a chav called me a "poofter" as I was walking back to my mums car.
It did upset me quite a bit and I spent a while thinking maybe it was the way I walked or the way my hair was that day. I wouldn't let something like that get to me now. |
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#33
13th February 2011, 22:38
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Re: Being insulted on the street
this happened to me all the time when i was younger. e.g. some teenagers on bicycles would approach me on the pedestrian path and i would quickly get out of their way, then as they pass they'll shout something rude at me. i think these bullies have a radar for people who are nervous and scared of them. nowadays it never happens. i think it's because i'm not scared of them and they can tell i dont give a sht and don't bother me anymore
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#35
17th February 2011, 19:21
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Re: Being insulted on the street
after this happening to me a few times when i was younger. i decided to make myself keep my head up when walking past people who look a bit dodgy. years later and i still get this horrible feeling like there is a magnet on the floor drawing my line of sight and i get a weird dizzy feeling. its never got any easier but i dont tend to get shouted at or anything anymore.
i probably just look a bit strange and they keep their distance. |
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#36
17th February 2011, 20:04
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Re: Being insulted on the street
I hate when stuff like this happens
 there is one incident that keeps coming back to haunt me even though it was years ago now, it makes me so angry and confused to think of it.I was walking down a busy street with my then-girlfriend, hand in hand. We passed someone who we knew from the group where we met but who didn't previously know we were a couple, he smiled and said "hello, you two" in a very pointed sort of way. We were just laughing about this when the guy (this was a well dressed businessman type in his 40s, not some teenage chav) in front of me turned round and stared at me very angrily. I thought maybe he thought we were laughing at him so I said something like "it's ok, we just passed someone we knew". He just said "Yes, I know" very rudely and turned away again. But then he started following us up the road, getting very aggressive and saying things like "you've got a problem, mate" and "do you realise how silly that makes you look?". I presume he must have been referring to my anxiety and the fact I probably looked like I wanted to ground to open up and swallow me as soon as he started talking to me. We just ignored him and kept walking, I was worried he might be mental enough to get violent, but thankfully he gave up after a while, said something like "oh who cares, you've got a nice girlfriend anyway" and stormed off  Scary... |
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#37
15th June 2011, 13:28
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Re: Being insulted on the street
Got called a "freak" this lunchtime - on Oxford Street again. Two girls were approaching me this time, and one of them just blurted it out. What made it worse was that I didn't even feel particularly nervous at the time, i.e. no obvious clues as to why they'd said it.
Came back to the office in a total sulk, feeling utterly defeated. I will now feel suicidally depressed for the rest of the day, and probably into tomorrow. Why do people have to be so callous, insensitive and hostile? How am I supposed to make any kind of progress if I'm subjected to this kind of hatred and verbal abuse? I didn't even do anything to provoke them. I really do give up sometimes. |
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#38
15th June 2011, 13:39
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Re: Being insulted on the street
^
A freak? That is downright weird. Why would anyone want to call you that? The problem is with the girls not with you, seriously. Please don't let it affect you. You'll never see those girls again it really doesn't matter what they think. I've had various things thrown at me verbally in the street and I can honestly say I couldn't care less. Very occasionally I will give a retort when I've had enough of the usual: "Cheer up love it might never happen". What I usually say is: "Well actually my brother just died". That shuts them up. One guy actually ran after me to ask if I was OK! I told him I was lying and we had a bit of a giggle about it. But yes, back to you, these girls are mindless and bored. Obviously their own lives aren't interesting enough for them. F*** 'em. |
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#39
15th June 2011, 14:30
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Re: Being insulted on the street
^
Agreed. Thats their problem. I wouldnt waste the effort thinking about it. Just gotta relate it to a 5 year old shouting rude things to every passerby. Except these people are adults..but obviously not matured very well. Its the same thing though.. I personally wouldnt care what a 5 year old shouted at me anymore than an adult if the comment is like 'freak' or 'gay' or whatever. >.> Its pretty..lame. Even getting physical is pretty lame and not worth a response unless it gets too far. When I was more senitive to it and younger I guess I sometimes had a response..but its really lame for me to do that myself. Better to ignore it..more mature thing to do and aint lowering my standards anymore. I am a male adult..not a 5 year old boy. Ah.. I could suggest chuckling/laughing to yourself inside to make your body feel positive if its really effecting you negatively. That way eventually your body becomes accustomed to thinking its funny that they so immature and how sad their lives be to be that bored or whatever. (Though its not important to think that - More just how you physically feel/response.) Thats how I kinda respond to things like that now. This is directly related to tackling those 'immature comments' head on so you dont feel bad after. Those 5 year old tantrums are kinda cute in their own way. Another method could be to feel transparent to immature comments. Let it flow through you and out the other side with no impact. Much harder to achieve though in my experience. My body reacts faster than I can cope that way when its completely random on the street. Im not usually expecting it. Doesnt really work with physical shoving or those twats that think they can walk through me. I will walk into them if they dont move.. Its very powerful tool to have good forward eye contact with whats infront of you..but thats useful in loads situations and probably not that easy for most people on this site. Im the same on this forum actually. Just ignore rude immature posts directed to myself. Its better than taking something personally but that way I can still read it and carry on with that person without any hate. Though I may or may choose to avoid them depending on what issue is. |
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#40
15th June 2011, 16:47
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Re: Being insulted on the street
Yep I get this pretty much every day lol. Somedays when I'm feeling less confident I won't bother to say anything back. Other days I'll be fuming and shout at them!
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#41
15th June 2011, 17:03
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Re: Being insulted on the street
^
Hmm yes it's a bit of a game really. Yes I will walk into someone when I believe it is my right of way if they don't move but obviously I will always move for the elderly, mothers with children etc I think I have learnt (and this so depends on where I am walking - if it is nowhere threatening I don't have to do this) to put an invisible shield around myself which nobody can really penetrate. Good forward eye contact is a plus but I tend to go one step further and look through people because if I don't look like I am bothered about them the less they will be bothered about me. This is natural though because I don't care what people are doing on the street it is not of interest to me, I don't know them, they can do what they like. Walking 'confidently' is another advantage I think I learnt this from people who have a confident disposition. But then again they must have picked this up from somewhere. It is like second nature to me when I need it and I automatically 'put it on' when necessary. So yes wjfox maybe practicing looking confident maybe of use to you, you may feel like you are acting at first but eventually it will become second nature. I know this is easier said than done though. Last edited by Zayed; 15th June 2011 at 17:04. Reason: typo |
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#42
15th June 2011, 21:14
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Re: Being insulted on the street
I think Ive been pretty lucky the last couple of years because I havent had a really nasty incident happen and fingers crossed I wont for a while.
I got pushed over in town once by a man who the people in the local shops said (when I went in there crying!) was a bit crazy and was always like it. Apart from the initial tears I didn't feel so bad about that - what stayed with me was a comment one of my colleagues said to me later at work when I told them about the incident...it was something along the lines of "Well if you walk around looking like a victim..."  Really hurt me...deep down I knew I looked like a victim but was f***ing painful having it confirmed. Maybe it did me some good though, I haven't been picked on since. I usually walk round with my earhones in blaring loud angry music, head up high, not giving any one eye contact because I try and stare past/through them, rather than at the ground.  I can't seem too inapproachable though cause Im always getting asked for directions!!! Not wise when I dont know my left from my right! 
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#43
15th June 2011, 21:19
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Re: Being insulted on the street
Apologies I haven't read all this thread, but I often wonder if sometimes people are just mishearing certain things (I don't mean anyone specifically on this thread). It's just I have thought I have heard certain words, insults etc and it's like my mind plays tricks on me and I start obsessing that they must have said such and such, but maybe they said something else etc. Does anyone else have this? My hearing is fine in general by the way, I just think I am so overly paranoid about it that I can often get it wrong.
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#44
15th June 2011, 21:31
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Re: Being insulted on the street
Quote:
I guess that i'm guilty of "filtering" comments though. I always pick up negative comments, but can never believe it if someone is interested/friendly. As i'm used to negativity, i know what to expect. So in a strange way, i'm less afraid of negative comments. |
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#45
15th June 2011, 21:59
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Re: Being insulted on the street
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#46
15th June 2011, 22:12
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Re: Being insulted on the street
Quote:
Surely you're mistaken!?  They are the kind of blokes that I cant stand, and are obviously unable to comprehend or attain the connection you have with your boyfriend, and are just used to the kind of girls who will drop their knickers at the flex of a bicep on Wind St on saturday night. Treat them with the contempt and pity they deserve. |
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#47
15th June 2011, 23:04
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Re: Being insulted on the street
I guess i'm kind of immune to it, i've been insulted, jeered, mocked in public my whole life doesnt bother me at least not outwardly I suppose.
Just a few days ago I was in the local library and there were a group of school boys, maybe about 13 year old. As they left they were shouting insults and all the rest of it at me, and all I was doing was standing looking at books, minding my own business. Meh There will always be ignorant, obnoxious people about, just shrug your shoulders and move on. |
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#48
16th June 2011, 01:29
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Re: Being insulted on the street
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#49
16th June 2011, 01:54
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Re: Being insulted on the street
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#50
16th June 2011, 02:02
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Re: Being insulted on the street
Skimming through this thread it kind of sums up how crappy (to put it lightly) the majority of people are these days.
Well I've had the daily "Oi ginge!" and worse, shouted at me since I can remember. From the typical meatheads in a white van or the group of chavs in the street. The worst was whenever I walked anywhere with a girl, jeez! It was like some sort of magnet that even grannies would walk up and laugh in your face just to show you up infont of her and make themselves feel big, (ok maybe not grannies but you get the idea). So I can relate to KWC's fella, minus the girl being a partner of course. |
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#51
16th June 2011, 02:42
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Re: Being insulted on the street
Quote:
I remember when walking by chavs and seeing them looking with mouths moving. I presume they insulting me but I just carry on walking while smiling at them and saying heya! cant hear a word sorry. Sometimes they seem rather pissed off by that response.. still cant hear what they saying though. Insults must be pretty bad lol. They never bother to attack me fortunately..When I wasnt wearing them I still just smile and go 'oh yeh really?' or no sorry I dont smoke.. got no fags.. *insult* ..thankyou very much! I be honest though.. I come across some people that seem to be on drugs and have to be weary of them. Act pretty nice because god knows if they try stab me for just smiling tbh. One person got very aggressive..definitely on drugs..had to stop and talk him calmly down. Seemed very paranoid that I was looking at him weird..I hadnt... Barely noticed the guy. Manage calm him down..wasnt sure had weapon or something tbh. (Its ok nowadays because I moved into a safer area now. I grew up in more of a chav zone when I was younger.) |
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#52
16th June 2011, 11:19
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Re: Being insulted on the street
Luckily I haven't been insulted in the street.
I seem to be insulted on the internet all the time. I hate it, in the street I'd do something though, who the hell do people think they are insulting people in the street. And I bet they are the first to complain if they get punched in the face.... As always these people do it to people they think are weaker, and on the internet they do it because they don't have to deal with the persons reaction. In life I've noticed people put others down to make themselves feel better about themselves, **** them. |
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#53
16th June 2011, 13:25
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Re: Being insulted on the street
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#55
16th June 2011, 15:53
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Re: Being insulted on the street
Quote:
In clubs you always get assholes, I can't get my head around abuse in the day, I've never seen someone shouting abuse at someone while just casually walking through a high street or something. I get people staring at me sometimes in the street, like guys and that, if they ever said something though I'd hit them, I have a little anger problem, and my mentality is that even if there was a group of them, if I'm going to get beaten up then one of them is going to get hurt. Rather than just standing there like a doughnut and taking it. |
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#56
16th June 2011, 16:05
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Re: Being insulted on the street
Usually just starting on me, I was walking home alone the other day and a couple of older looking lads kept shouting oi at me until I turned around. So when I turned he looked me right in the eyes and said "I'll smash your ****ing face in" and kept staring at me. Needless to say the coward didn't do anything but I would have loved to give him a good kicking. I have taken a few beatings from the kind townsfolk from time to time though
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#57
16th June 2011, 16:08
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Re: Being insulted on the street
How old are you if you don't mind me asking? I'm thinking your a teenager or very young twenties
People like that annoy the hell out of me, think they are big because they start on people they know won't react. That and people who are tall and go gym who think they are "hard", height and how big you are doesn't mean you can fight. That prick wouldn't have said it to someone if he thought they'd smash him in the face. Have you not thought of doing something so you can defend yourself? |
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#58
16th June 2011, 16:12
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Re: Being insulted on the street
19, when I was younger I had anger issues so I'd go after anyone that would provoke me, these days I just keep my cool and let it slide but it drives me insane. The problem is that people like that travel in packs and there's been a fair few stabbings around here lately, so I just have to smile and accept it for fear of death
The annoying thing is that in fair fights I could probably take them, but when I get sucker-punched in the back of the head? Not so much.
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#59
16th June 2011, 16:16
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Re: Being insulted on the street
Yeah the thing is even in groups, often you'll find that most of them would run off if you reacted.
And there are those that are all mouth too, the only issue is knowing who is all mouth or not, and if you get it wrong it can get ugly. On top of that there's the fact that if they are local people if you do something they can then get you back and it doesn't stop until someone is really hurt. Do you know these people, or see them regularly or was it the first time you saw them? The thing is it's a catch 22, they keep starting because you do nothing. |
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#60
16th June 2011, 16:22
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Re: Being insulted on the street
I know what you mean, its always bound to escalate. Nah they were complete strangers, usually are, its just a very chavvy town, which isn't helped by the fact that the only place to go is the gym.
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