Your Life Situation

[Moksha]

I'm curious to learn how other 30+ SAers live, so please answer any of the following questions you feel comfortable with. And go into as much detail as you like i.e what sort of flat do you live in? Council? Is it small/ grotty or quite nice? If you have kids do you see much of them etc? Here is me...

Age: 37

Town/ City: Colchester in Essex.

How far do you live from where you were born/ grew up? I live 2 miles from where I was born and grew up.

House/ Flat?: Small semi-detached house in a quiet country lane in a village on the outskirts of Colchester. The house was a rural labourer's cottage in the 19th century and even today looks out over fields. I live in the end house so only have one set of neighbours- an odious, loud American woman and her son, who has aspergers and is vile. We politely hate each other and I avoid going into the garden when they are in theirs. The road is quiet and most of the neighbours think I'm odd as I don't work, never speak to anyone and generally avoid them

Job: Don't work due to SA

Romantic/ Sex Life: No regular partner. Thanks to SA/ no job/ living with mother etc I avoid any close relationships and stick to casual flings (which usually means hurting the woman after a few weeks). I have never had a serious relationship- nothing longer than 9 months. And I have never lived with a woman. Sexual partners= about 15 in total. Thanks to depression/anxiety and the after effects of anti-depressants my sex drive is mega low and I often have trouble 'performing'. All in all, most of my sexual encounters are frustrating, disappointing and boring. I have never been close to being in love, which is probably due to low sex drive and general feelings of numbness and detachment from the world.

Kids: None. The idea of having children freaks me out. What advice could I give them? I've barely lived. Plus I'd feel guilty for bringing them into this shitty world. I have no nieces or nephews.

Friends: One friend I've known since school. We get on OK, but the relationship is odd and strained due to my SA.

Siblings: A younger sister. We are fairly close but quite different people- she lives about 2 miles away and is married with no kids.

Parents: My father died 5 years ago. My mother is still alive. I was/ am close to both of them, but again the relationship was strained thanks to SA.

How do you see the future? Scary. When my mother goes I'm ****ed. Maybe I'll try for a serious, committed relationship, but I'm so used to doing my own thing I don't know if I'd cope. Without kids or a career or even any nieces and nephews the future looks lonely, poor and bleak.

What keeps you sane/ keeps you going? Books/ art. Also curiosity about the future. Maybe, just maybe, thanks to unimaginable technology, life in 40 years time will be considerably more enjoyable

[ithinkiamlost]

Age: 34

Town/City: The middle of nowhere in East Anglian

How far do you live from where you were born/ grew up? About 50 miles.

House/Flat: Semi-detached. Rented. Really need somewhere cheaper + find it hard living alone.

Job: Don't work due to SA.

Romantic/Sex Life: Nothing happening there. I find it to hard to talk to anyone so I gave up on that a while ago. Would be content with good friends I fell safe with.

Kids: If I can't look after myself, I don't think its right for me to have a child. I have two nephews.

Friends: Went a long time without having any friends. Recently some old friends got in contact with me and have been chatting with them. It's not easy but at least I'm not Billy no mates.

Siblings: A younger sister. Not that close. Sometimes can be, but she has a career, children, and partner. I think I embarrass her.

Parents: I see my Mum often and we have an ok relationship. Its got better as I've got older. My Dad could walk past me in the street and I wouldn't know about it.

How do you see the future? Completely terrified. I have no idea what I am going to do. I don't want much - a simple job, roof over my head and someone that I feel safe around and can talk to.

What keeps you sane/keeps you going? This is going to sound bad but I heard someone say that no parent should bury their own child. This keeps me going. I find it so hard to concentrate on anything so I used alcohol to deal with my problems. I knew if I was ever going to get better I must stop drinking which is what I have done.

[Ben1981]

Age: 32

Town/ City: Reigate, East Surrey.

How far do you live from where you were born/ grew up? 5 Miles away from where I was born but moved away from there when I was very young and grew up 50 Miles away on the Isle of Wight.

House/ Flat?: 2 bedroom flat which I share with my dad. Its a nice enough countrified area and have few problems where I live. Tend not to see much of the neighbours apart from the middle aged couple downstairs who I catsit for a couple of times a year. I find them way too chatty most of the time which exposes how poor at conversations I am so only talk to them as much as I have too.

Job: Council graffiti buster

Romantic/ Sex Life: Been dating my current girlfriend for about 2 months now. Shes my first for seven years and second ever. So far were getting on fine as shes pretty understanding and patient but Im always a bit wary of making long term plans so just taking things one week at a time.


Kids: None. I want a couple in the future but right now don't feel ready for the responsibility.

Friends: 3-4 from SAUK who I try and meet up with once or twice a month. Its often hard as we all live in different areas but its usually worth the wait when we do get together.

Siblings: A half sister on my mums side who lives in New Zealand. Though weve never met in person.

Parents: I live with dad and mum lives on the Isle of Wight and usually visit her for a week in the summer and another over Christmas. If shes around my area visiting other family shell stop by for an hour or two

How do you see the future? Uncertain. I try not to plan too far ahead in life as the one thing that scares me is where Ill be when both my parents are gone. I did promise myself a while back I wouldn't stick around if I was destined to live a hermits life but hopefully all being well that wont happen.

What keeps you sane/ keeps you going? Books, films, sport. Meeting up with my friends a few times every month and generally a cautious optimistic hope that the best years of my life are still to come.

[goldenjuniper]

Age: 34

Town/ City: southampton hampshire oo ar

How far do you live from where you were born/ grew up? 10 miles

House/ Flat?: flat

Job: carpenter joiner wood machinist general all round bodgit and scarper merchant

Romantic/ Sex Life: yep had one of them, far too much hassle motorbike are easier to maintain

Kids: **** no!

Friends: yep got some

Siblings: sister, the ice queen saw he last about five years ago, no interest in seeing her again any time soon

Parents: yes two pluse two of those hanger on pain in the arse ones

How do you see the future? crystal ball?

What keeps you sane/ keeps you going? being sane is overated, petrol keeps me going.

[mossieman]

Age: 49

Town/ City: Dronfield, Derbyshire. Situated between Sheffield & Chesterfield. Have also lived in Sheffield (born), Rotherham, Hull & Bridlington.

How far do you live from where you were born/ grew up? Aprox 6 miles

House/ Flat?: Council flat. Nice quite area, off the main road with no through traffic (cars or people).

Job: Don't work due to SA

Romantic/ Sex Life: Divorced, been single since 2001.

Kids: None. Never really wanted them, prob due to mine being so s***


Friends: One friend I've known since school. I see him about 4-6 times per year.

Siblings: A older sister. We are very close and she was the main reason behind my move here after my breakdown as she lives but 5 mins walk away.

Parents: Father died in 2002, i found this out in 2011 & had not seen him since 1990, mother not a clue, could be still alive could be dead

How do you see the future? I tend not to look to the future anymore and just try to get through today.

What keeps you sane/ keeps you going? Music, collecting models of classic cars, F1 but mainly knowing and end to all this crap is not so far away.

[FraidyCat]

Age: 41

Town/ City: London

How far do you live from where you were born/ grew up? I live 2 miles from where I was born and 5 miles from where i grew up.

House/ Flat?: Small three bed detached. I try my best never to make eye contact with my neighbours.

Job: Don't work due to SA.

Romantic/ Sex Life: Been married a very long time.

Kids: Three

Friends: None, anymore. Was a time when i had some. I miss them all.

Siblings: A couple left but dont talk to them. The one i used to be close to passed away a long time ago.

Parents: Mums gone and dad doesnt talk much anymore.

How do you see the future?
Looking foward to seeing my kids grow up and hopefully live fulfilling lives.

What keeps you sane/ keeps you going?
I dont think i am sane, years of SA and isolation and depression have really screwed me up.
I have to keep going for the sake of my wife and kids.

[firemonkey]

Age: 57

Town/ City: Southend in Essex.

How far do you live from where you were born/ grew up? Was born in Belgium Congo. Grew up home and abroad due to father's job. Home base was in a village near Southend


House/ Flat?: 11th floor council flat

Job: Never worked due to SMI. Chronic severe SA a major factor

Romantic/ Sex Life: Non existent . No sex for 24 years..

Kids: None.

Friends: None

Siblings: Younger brother and sister. Closer to brother.


Parents: My mother died 3 years ago. My father is still alive and lives in the States. I see him roughly once a year.

How do you see the future? A slow decline into senility

What keeps you sane/ keeps you going? The internet and forums such as this.

[Concept]

Age: 31

Town/ City: Fallowfield in Manchester

How far do you live from where you were born/ grew up? I live 12 miles from where I was born.

House/ Flat?: In a first floor flat. I might sometimes rant about how I dislike living in a city, but I love the fact this is the nicest, leafiest armpit of Fallowfield. It's lovely around the immediate surroundings.

Job: Don't work due to SA.

Romantic/ Sex Life: I was dating a lovely guy a few months ago, but it eventually went south. I've slept with six people and been in two relationships.

Kids:

None. The idea of having children freaks me out. What advice could I give them? I've barely lived. Plus I'd feel guilty for bringing them into this shitty world. I have no nieces or nephews.

Same. Could have written this myself.

Friends: A couple of close friends and many acquaintances.

Siblings: An older brother. One of my trusted confidantes and someone I consider myself close to.

Parents: I'm close to my mother and during transition she's been wonderful. Really strong support when I've needed it. My dad... he still refers to me by old pronouns and I've never been as close to him as he is with my brother. I feel I missed the boat on him when he was more active and expressive.

How do you see the future?

Scary. When my mother goes I'm ****ed. Maybe I'll try for a serious, committed relationship, but I'm so used to doing my own thing I don't know if I'd cope. Without kids or a career or even any nieces and nephews the future looks lonely, poor and bleak.

Aye. All I know is that I need to produce a novel that I'm satisfied with. Not happy, because that would presume complacency, but something I can look at and say 'yeah, I've done that'.

Apart from the above, I just don't want to be alone any more. It messes with my head too much. But then again, I'm not good at love. I want it, but I fear I'd let it slip through my fingers.

What keeps you sane/ keeps you going? Literature/music/games/a sense of community (which this site is a part of)/gigs/exhibitions/weird shit/meeting people/new encounters/the promise of a fresh day.

[Progress]

Age: 30++

Town/ City: South east

How far do you live from where you were born/ grew up? About 8 miles

House/ Flat?: On my own in three bed end terrace in a nice area. Single mother with 5 children next door. She's nice but the children thump around on the floor a lot. I plucked up courage to tell her about it and she does try, but how do you keep young children quiet. It's starting to drive me crazy.

Job: I sort of work but it's been drying up so need to find something else. SA hasn't affected my work too much but has recently a bit - more because I'm avoiding things a lot rather than badly anxious.

Romantic/ Sex Life: No romance/dates/sex for 4-5 years. I had one important relationship years ago. I was emotionally blind so I ended it. Well I said I was ending it but it needed her to actually end it because I couldn't let her go. I was very depressed after and still think about her fairly regularly, but not emotional about it now.

Kids: I always just assumed I'd have children. A couple of years ago when I began to realise it would probably not happen, it gave me major panic attacks. Now I'm not sure, I've lived so long alone that the thought of such a major commitment is a bit scary. But it does feel lonely and everyone I know has children so I feel 'odd'.

Friends: One friend I see every week, we get on well. Two I see less often, they live further away. Otherwise, a few who I'd call acquaintances - I keep people at a distance mostly.

Siblings: 2 brothers

Parents: Mother still alive. I got on badly with my father when I was at home - I just didn't speak to him. Better when I left.

How do you see the future? A little scary as it could get more lonely. I know I've learnt how to get to know people but I'm not putting it into practice much at the moment. Scared of rejection maybe.

What keeps you sane/ keeps you going? Positive thoughts that good things will happen again. Family, the few friends I have, exercise, reading and learning stuff.

[Silver]

Age: 32

Town/ City: Coventry

How far do you live from where you were born/ grew up? I was born in Ascot, Berkshire cos we were living in crappy Bracknell at the time cos of my dads work. Since then lived in Oxfordshire, Manchester, Warwickshire and now Coventry

House/ Flat?: I actually am a lodger in a massive house, 20 minutes walk from work in a kinda ruralish area (well I say that and its right next to a really busy road with non stop traffic but it feels more rural compared to where I used to live as its on the edge of Coventry. I didn't like it at first but as its spring now Im getting used to it. I also live with 2 cats , another lodger who I feel a bit sa around and the landlady and her partner who basically lives there (she lied and told me he didn't :-/)

Job: Work at a university

Romantic/ Sex Life: Haha you must be joking right. Ill be single till the day I die and I hate sex with a passion

Kids: Would rather die than have kids, cant imagine anything worse

Friends: A few friends up in Cov but only one Id consider close but none of them I see regularly. Also got a few friends further south

Siblings: One brother who lives in Winchester.

Parents: My dad lives near Southampton only see him once a month which sucks but he has never bothered to come up and visit me which Im pretty p****ed off about

How do you see the future? I don't know. Ill probably be alone forever but hopefully will make more friends at least. May move down to Southampton but considering how often I put it off, probably not. I love Coventry and absolutely don't want to leave the place but we'll see

What keeps you sane/ keeps you going? Going out with meet up groups, cats, chocolate, keeping busy, swimming and zumba, trying to forge a social life, voluntary work, visiting my dad for the weekend, music, films, tv, cake

[timmyb]

Age: Let's just say I wont be seeing 40 again, although I could easily pass for 40.

Town/ City: Bristol

How far do you live from where you were born/ grew up? I was born 150 miles to the East and grew up 200 miles to the West of here.

House/ Flat?: Two up two down rented house. Some minor annoyances but it's mainly fine. I don't go out or talk to anyone much and I've probably been labelled as weird, which I am.

Job: Part time temping. I've spent my whole life on the edge of a financial abyss and I will one day fall into it, probably quite soon. I'd just rather live like a pauper than work one more hour than I absolutely have to.

Romantic/ Sex Life: None. Difficult subject for me. I love women and sex but believe myself to be unlovable for some reason. Childhood issues probably.

Kids: None (obviously). I like children, but would have made a poor father.

Friends: None.

Siblings: A sister. We get on fine.

Parents: Both getting old. I worry about them a lot.

How do you see the future? Very grim, same as ever.

What keeps you sane/ keeps you going? Not sure I am entirely sane. Fear of death and love of music keeps me going.

[les]

Age: 49 ok very nearly 50

Town/ City: Guildford is my nearest town I live in a small village where not a lot happens it has one post office / store a village hall, village green and pond.

How far do you live from where you were born/ grew up? As the crow flies 20 miles

House/ Flat?: Privately rented one bed ground floor flat / maisonette with communal gardens

Job: Work Social Services adult mental health services

Romantic/ Sex Life: Have had 2 LTR (live in) 5yrs and 16yrs 4 STR less than a year, and ball park figure of 130 give or take one night stands or long weekends in bed.

Kids: No thanks

Friends: Plenty of antiquates but no real friends

Siblings: Already died

Parents: My Dad lives 90 miles away in a retirement village, Mum died 6 years ago, I didn't think dad would go on much longer after losing mum after 57 years but he's still about.

How do you see the future? As things are going the only change is to move from Surrey either to Wiltshire or Dorset (that's the beauty of being without ties, I can go where I want). My long term future is when dad shuffles off, I may closely follow I live to work and the uncertainty of good health in a isolated old age scares me more than death.

What keeps you sane/ keeps you going? Work, the radio, and the net

[Concept]

130? Cassanova. ; )

[incommunicado]

Age: 17 (did an about-turn at thirty)

Town/ City: village in SW Hampshire

How far do you live from where you were born/ grew up? 254 miles South of where I was born & 57 miles Southwest of where I grew up

House/ Flat?: own two bed bungalow, secluded back garden not overlooked, should be paradise but it’s become a agoraphobic prison, usually avoid the all friendly neighbours, youngest in the road and the only single

Job: China was gifted it, now hideaway in poverty

Romantic/ Sex Life: taken what’s offered cos I’m polite

Kids: Not that I know of, could do a better job than many though

Friends: Not really, keep them at a distance, and an ex

Siblings: Three, phone one weekly and see two yearly

Parents: Both parents died sixteen years ago

How do you see the future? Totally unable to realistically contemplate it

What keeps you sane/ keeps you going? Daydreaming, winning the lottery, sometimes I think I’m completely normal and can appear so before realising

[Azi]

Age: 30

Town/ City: Large village on the Devon/Cornwall border.

How far do you live from where you were born/ grew up? 6 miles or so but am about to move up to the West Midlands.

House/ Flat?: Co-own the house with my mum, soon will be renting a smaller house with just hubby and kids.

Job: Currently I support students with disabilities at uni but am hoping to go back to uni myself to get my Masters and then PhD with the aim of becoming a lecturer eventually.

Romantic/ Sex Life: Married 5 years, been with my hubby since I was 16.

Kids: Two, aged 6 and 11. They keep me going, tbh.

Friends: A few, but in some ways that suits me fine. I've been friends with my closest friend for about 5 years and I still struggle sometimes with it, even though she 'gets' it. I find maintaining friendships exhausting, even though it is worth it for the most part. I'm terrified of having to start again with building a group of friends and worry I'll go back to being a shut in.

Siblings: A wonderful younger sister, one of the people I'm closest to and can genuinely be me around without anxiety.

Parents: Mum - a stressed relationship, tbh. She makes my anxiety worse, and has a horrendous boyfriend who I loathe. My father was a abusive ass who I haven't seen since I was 9. The man I think of as my dad, my stepdad Paul, died of brain cancer 6 years ago. I miss him very much and regret that I didn't begin to fix some of my issues until after he died. He never saw me drive, graduate or get married. He did at least meet both of my children and was a great grandad to them, despite getting his diagnosis while I was pregnant with my son, and declining rapidly after my daughter was born.

How do you see the future? Ver up in the air - moving away from my hard-won support network, my job and area I grew up in is a major upheaval. I don't like or cope well with change, but I'm hoping that I now have the resources and skills to make the best of it. It will definitely be nice to be back living with my husband again. He has spent the last year living in the Midlands, commuting back at the weekends.

What keeps you sane/ keeps you going? My children give me structure and a reason to strive to be mentally well. They're also awesome little people. Working/studying also helps and give me a sense of purpose and self esteem.

[I Love My Cats]

Age: 36

Town/ City: Catsville, near the Kingdom of Weegies. (before anyone goes looking it up, I'd prefer not to say!)

How far do you live from where you were born/ grew up? I live about 30 miles away from the town I was brought up in (needed to create a bit of distance and try to start again). I live about 15 miles away from the town I was born in, which I now work in.

House/ Flat?: We have a mortgage on our mid-terraced ex-council house. Relatively quiet street and nice thick walls in the house, so I rarely hear any noise from the neighbours. The neighbours on one side are an old and slightly eccentric couple, but they mean no harm and are quite pleasant. On the other side is a bit of a weird mish-mash situation where one of the adults left and shacked up with someone else and now the bloke is rarely there, so his son has on a few occasions been a pain in the bottom and had more than a dozen people around 16-18 years old round, and the noise has been awful. Thankfully, those times were the exception, rather than the rule. We've talked about moving. might consider this in a few years, but will stay in the local area.

Job: I have one. It's sort-of helping people, some of which do not want to be helped. It's quite an anxiety provoking career choice and a good way to confirm to myself that people can quite easily dislike me, which feeds into my over all insecurity that I am ultimately unlikeable. I used to work monday to friday, but I now work 4 long days per week between 8am and 6.30pm instead as I have caring commitments which are steadily increasing. I'm looking to move to another location due to a few difficulties with the big boss which has made me feel extremely paranoid. I can't see it getting better, so best to move.

Romantic/ Sex Life: I married the long-suffering Mr ILMC last year on 28th March 2013, which was ten years to the day after we first met. Only bloke prepared to put up with a choob like me, but sometimes even he seems to struggle.

Kids: 2 furry, four-legged babies whom I'm very proud of. No immediate plans for kids - dunno if we'll change our mind.

Friends: I don't really feel like I have many likeable qualities to attract and retain friends. I also know that sometimes, it seems like I blow hot and cold. I'm so consumed by work, study and caring commitments that I have no time for anything else. I have a girl I went to school with whom I met 24 years ago and we still text each other now and again, but I haven't seen her for a few years now.

Siblings: One brother, 18 months older. We've never got on and he seems to have his own issues. What I really dislike is that he often makes promises to help in looking after my parents and sharing the load, then does absolutely nothing. I now manage this frustration by not believing a word he says and then on the odd occasion where he actually does something, it's a nice surprise. I don't contact him, and vice versa, but we sometimes bump into each other at my parent's home and the least we say to each other, the better.

Parents: My mum is 81, and has M.S., dementia and poor eyesight. She's still at home, but needs a high level of care as she's no longer able to stand, wash, dress, manage her continence, eat or drink on her own, and she's not really orientated to time or place - sometimes she doesn't know who I am. However, she has a really nice temperament and is so easy to look after as she is so accepting of everything offered to her. My dad, on the other hand, is 86 and is stubborn, opinionated and really infuriating. He's in quite good health for his age as he used to be very fit, but he's in denial that his health is declining, he's a hoarder and he doesn't accept anyone else's opinion as being valid. He can also be quite cruel in his choice of words. I now have to go over to the house twice a week to try to keep things going, but I'm aware that if something happens to either of them, it's a crisis and everything falls apart for me and my own difficulties as I try to steady their wee ship. If I'm honest, the pair of them are limping along on a wing and a prayer before they'll end up in Nursing Care.

How do you see the future? More stressful and filled with increased responsibility, as my parents really aren't doing great and it's hard to see that, and to have to somewhat reverse the roles - for them and for me. I actually worry what will happen next. When the phone rings, my heart starts thumping in case something's happened.

What keeps you sane/ keeps you going? Work both adds to my anxiety, but gives me respite from my own problems. As the old saying goes, it's sometimes easier to be distracted by other people's s**t, than to be immersed in your own. The few times that things go well give me some hope that I might not be a completely despicable person. Also, Mr ILMC and quiet nights in with just me, my 2 furry babies and a smelly candle helps me to shut out some of the yuckiness temporarily.

[Belinda]

^ You have tonnes of 'likeable qualities', Mrs Cats!

I just spent ages filling this in but was too embarrassed to post it- booo!!
I'll try again tomorrow.

[Sunshine Recorder]

Age: 30
Town / City:In a village near Milton Keynes.
How far do you live from where you were born / grew up? A couple of miles.
House / Flat? Still living with parents in semi-detached house. Once I find a better paid job, I'll look into a place of my own.
Job: Kitchen assistant, but I'm looking into finding full-time work.
Romantic / Sex Life: Kissed just one girl, been on a couple of dates that didn't really go anywhere.
Kids: None at the moment. I would like kids in the future, though.
Friends: Sometimes I bump into them, but it's rare.
Siblings: One brother, who is getting married, and has a kid on the way.
Parents: Still together, and I'm living with 'em.
How do you see the future? I'm trying to stay positive, and I'm making small, positive changes.
What keeps you sane / keeps you going? Music, family, outdoors, nature.

[PurplePetals]

Age: 42

Town/ City: Leeds

How far do you live from where you were born/ grew up? About 40 miles, but I've lived in many places, including the US, so it's just a matter of co-incidence at this point.

Job: Haven't worked since 2006 when my general anxiety, social anxiety and depression all got to the point where I wasn't able to sleep because I was too worried about what was going to happen the next day.

Romantic/ Sex Life: Seperated but living with my boyfriend of 8 years. Sex life is complicated because I'm yet another trans person with SA, but it's there despite my meds.

Kids: Not possible - firstly because I was rendered sterile by the NHS when I was deathly sick, but also from hormones.

Friends: Nope, none for about 20 years now, I keep trying to fit into online communities, or even offline when I worked, but I never seem to fit, and it just sends me more anxious - they always say that if you just break past the SA it's all ok, but that's never been my experience.

Siblings: A sister, we're not close, but we're not distant either.

Parents: The past few years I've been closer to them than I had been since I was living at home (I moved out partially when I was 16), I don't know how much that is them coming to terms with who I am and coping better, or how much is them fearful that they're getting old...

How do you see the future? Not good, tbh. I cope, most days, barely; the NHS hasn't been great in helping there, so yeah...

What keeps you sane/ keeps you going? Uh, nothing, really.

[desi99]

Age: 45

Town/ City: Gloucestershire

How far do you live from where you were born/ grew up? 4500 miles, India

Job: Work on temp IT jobs, currently unemployed, It's a torture to go to work and talk to people. I wish I could retire.

Romantic/ Sex Life: Married and lonely

Kids: 1, shouldn't have

Friends: 1

Siblings: 2 , both in india, not in touch.

Parents: In india, Phone call every weekend

How do you see the future? same as the past and present. Depressed, lonely,
not much money, full of regrets.

What keeps you sane/ keeps you going? Nothing, happy to die ASAP

[Pink*Lady]

Age: 39

Town/ City: Cardiff in South Wales.

How far do you live from where you were born/ grew up? 70 miles.

House/ Flat?: Flat.

Job: Audio Typist.

Romantic/ Sex Life: Single and unlikely to meet anyone now.

Kids: I love kids but it's unlikely I'll have any now.

Friends: I can count my real friends on one hand. I find it hard to trust most people these days.

Siblings: A sister and brother and I'm very close to both of them. Sadly, my sister passed away last year.

Parents: My dad and mum are still alive and I get on okay with them.

How do you see the future? Lonely.

What keeps you sane/ keeps you going? My family, handful of good friends, working, reading, listening to music, singing and exercising.

[[Martin]]

Age: 35

Town/ City: Rugby, Warwickshire.

How far do you live from where you were born/ grew up? Just the other side of town.

House/ Flat?: A small, nondescript, late-victorian terrace.

Job: Currently not working due mainly to SA. I would love to work, but things always seem to go bad.

Romantic/ Sex Life: Was with the same lady for 14 years. This ended pretty much a year ago today. Single since, don't really care much tbh.

Kids: None. Wouldn't mind having some one day, but I'll play the hand I'm dealt.

Friends: Online: one. Offline: None.

Siblings: A sister who is a year older than me. Following a family argument, I have seen her once in 8 years and she is pretty much a stranger to me now and gets treated in the same phobic way as the rest of the world.

Parents: Dad dead - again, barely saw him in years. I live with my 67-year-old mum.

How do you see the future? Hmm, dunno. My SA has been going down hill recently and I am having trouble even getting out atm. As much as I would love to work, I'd been lying if I said I cared much about the outside world. I'm really not sure where this is all going. I'm corncerned about my independance.

What keeps you sane/ keeps you going? I have hobbies and interests that occupy me - books, films...the usual..but ultimately though there is little that keeps me going atm. I used to be quite independant and confident and the thought that I may be able to regain these attributes certainly is the one goal I can aim for.