What to do? :-(

[Moksha]

Basically, I'm in my 30s, with two MAs, one in English literature and the other in 'the arts and social sciences', but almost zero work experience, a virtually blank CV and crippling SA. I have no ambitions other than finding a bearable job that provides a living wage. I spend so much time alone and my self-esteem is so low that all social interaction is overwhelming and exhausting. I also have dreadful bouts of insomnia and almost no motivation (I feel like a tired old man waiting to die tbh). I need to start small and low and cannot cope with an office environment. Also, I am useless at anything involving science, mathematics, computers, I.T etc (total technophobe).

I'm really at the end of my tether. I just don't know what to do. SA is like some huge ****ing boulder across my path and I really do feel mentally ill. But no one understands. Even depression would be easier to explain. Any advice?

[ghost.of.an.englishman]

I agree with Nat, I'd say try some volunteer work. I got into volunteer work after doing basically nothing for quite a long time, and found it a very helpful way of building myself up. Charity shops are a good thing to try, as you can choose your shifts, how long you fancy and what kind of tasks you want to undertake. They're also quite easy to get involved with. They're always looking for people so there's no shortage of demand.

Having a regular slot of volunteer work gets you out of the house, around people and gives you something of a routine. As you get stronger you can build it up as well.

[Rummy]

I'd agree with the volunteer work already advised as a start, then may be think of self employment where you don't need any interaction between work colleagues; just with customers. However, self employment is only a good idea if severe depression is not a problem. Won't get paid for a long time if unable to work.

[Olly.]

Like others have said, something like voluntary work, something that just gets you out of the house, something that you can put on your CV and something manageable and not as demanding as a full-time job would be for you in your current situation would be a good way forward to build your confidence and of course counselling if you're not already having counselling. Good luck and things can pick up for you as difficult as they may seem right now

[Mr. Yippeeeeeee]

As well as considering volunteering could you consider yoga?

[Pathetic_Earthling]

Originally Posted by Moksha

I feel like a tired old man waiting to die tbh.

I know exactly what you mean by this as I feel exactly the same. Sorry that you are having such a bad time.

(I have two undergraduate degrees and I work for the Council as a dustman)

[Mr. Nobody]

Originally Posted by Moksha

two MAs, one in English literature and the other in 'the arts and social sciences', spend so much time alone and my self-esteem is so low . Any advice?

you sound like you'd suit a job in a library,. Or museum but not sure if it's possible or not ?

I'd say that the more time we spend alone, the harder it is to get back out there again, and I think you've kind of alluded to that in your post Moksha,
the time spent alone in of itself could almost be half the battle,.
I think the human psyche gets settled with that kind of life and gets disturbed when you have to do something different and challenging.

I know it'll be hard but you owe it to yourself to try and make small steps towards being around people more and actively getting out for exercise at least.

the more we get ourselves used to meeting at least a couple of people a day, even just a "hello" the closer we move towards getting better, because you're showing your mind how harmless it is, and even how rewarding and fulfilling it can be to interact with people.

- I'm certainly no expert, just my idea on what could help gradually ease yourself into a more helpful way towards getting back into the kind of life you're looking for.