Social Anxiety & driving

Green_Eyes · #1 20th September 2010, 18:05

One part of my life that is affected by my social anxiety is driving. I wondered if anyone else found this too?

I sometimes think it makes me a liability to be honest! I'm always so bothered about what other drivers think of me that I just go into a blind panic sometimes and act far too hastily. I'm always imagining that whoever's behind me is slagging me off.

My driving instructor always used to say to me 'pretend the other drivers aren't there.' But that's easier said than done when you're always so bothered about what everyone's thinking. I'm amazed I ever managed to pass my test tbh!

Any advice on how to take it easier when driving? I have to drive daily, as my office is 11 miles from my house with no public transport links unless I want to be travelling for over an hour! I feel like I could burst with stressiness sometimes! I also only stick to routes I know, so it really inhibits me. I'd love to be able to drive anywhere I wanted!

Thanks all. Xx

Caribou · #2 20th September 2010, 18:33

You might like to read this thread: http://www.social-anxiety-community....ad.php?t=48754

Green_Eyes · #3 20th September 2010, 18:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poltergeist

You might like to read this thread: http://www.social-anxiety-community....ad.php?t=48754

Haha, oh thanks. I'm new on here so didn't know, but how funny that there was another identical thread so recently. It really must be a common issue then, thanks again

slive · #4 20th September 2010, 18:48

Oh my word, I know how you feel! I've actually just gotten really upset over a driving incident. A while ago I plucked up the courage to start practising reversing into the driveway and for a few weeks I was fine at it. I haven't driven for a while and the last couple of attempts at reversing in have been dreadful. Today was a complete disaster and I ended up knocking into the wheelie bins when trying to back into the driveway. I then rolled out slowly into the road again to straighten up and explicitely looked left and right to make sure no-one was coming then went into reverse gear and next thing I know there is an idiot sitting there beeping his horn at me.

Maybe I was taking ages but when you're already feeling bloody humiliated sitting there beeping your horn and being impatient really isn't going to help! I feel like all the neighbours were watching and it drew everyone's attention to the fact I am completely crap.

Feel like giving up driving to be honest. It took me 5 attempts to pass my test and I know it's because I was wracked with nerves each and every time. I only passed on the 5th attempt because I somehow managed to relax with a female examiner in the car with me. Now I have passed I really don't enjoy it much, I scrutinise my every move and I'm convinced I'll cause an accident!

Caribou · #5 20th September 2010, 18:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by Green_Eyes

Haha, oh thanks. I'm new on here so didn't know, but how funny that there was another identical thread so recently. It really must be a common issue then, thanks again

No worries

Green_Eyes · #6 20th September 2010, 19:07

I know totally how you feel Slive. People are so impatient and it really doesn't help anyone when they start beeping and shouting. That sounds horrible! Reversing is a nightmare at the best of times. I've been driving four years now and haven't done a parallel park or reversed into a bay since I passed my test! I refuse to even attempt it; I'd rather find somewhere else to park, even if it's miles away!

It's generally not an enjoyable experience - if it was up to me, I'd have a personal chauffeur

Sea · #7 20th September 2010, 19:20

^sorry, this is off-topic but are those your cats in your avatar? They are adorable

Driving is one of my bigger SA stresses. I also hate walking by busy roads and being on buses, so the options for going places are limited, lol. There are so many impatient aggressive drivers on the road that you can easily feel intimidated. I hate being watched when I do anything, and parking or manoeuvring a car are particularly horrible when other people are watching. I usually end up parking miles away from where I need to be. I'm more or less ok driving around my home town, but if I have to drive somewhere new its really stressful.

No advice on how to solve this I'm afraid. Myself I just allow loads of time for driving places I don't know, and try not to look at people in the mirror - just look at the cars instead. I also never drive in rush hour unless I can't avoid it.

Green_Eyes · #8 21st September 2010, 19:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by So long and thanks for all the fish

^sorry, this is off-topic but are those your cats in your avatar? They are adorable

They are my little ones, yes! This was taken when they were tiny kittens - they're one and a half now but still just as adorable. They're brothers and I often find them in symmetrical poses - must be some sort of telepathic link!

Thanks for the support re: driving. Even today I had parking stress, at the gym! Managed to park in a space diagonally but there were loads of people around so I was too scared to try to correct it! It's nice to know I'm not the only one with driving issues. Xx

socialreject- · #9 29th September 2010, 18:01

I love driving, I could drive for hours, it relaxes me especially with some good beats on the radio, however, driving with friends is terrible, my friend said a quote and it nearly put me into a field.

hardy · #10 30th September 2010, 12:52

I'm mostly ok but in a few situations where I must concentrate at a complicated unkown junction or need to hold up traffic I often sing or say nonsense words to myself to kill the negative thinking.
I used to not look at other drivers when making a close manouver so as not to be distracted . Now I often do look or acknowledge their presensce as they sometimes get annoyed thinking that you havent seen them.

dave81uk · #11 30th September 2010, 16:20

I've not even made it that far, I'd love to drive but sitting in a car making small talk with someone I don't know isn't my thing, then there is the issue of everyone looking at me, I have a short temper anyway so I think its safer for everyone if I stay off the road.

Reasonable Doubt · #12 30th September 2010, 18:09

I can see what the OP is getting at. I'm yet to be involved in any serious incidents but I always had trouble asserting myself on the roads and did just about anything to avoid confrontation even when I knew other people had cocked up. I sold my car when I moved into my flat a couple of months back and although driving does have its advantages, I really don't miss the aggro that comes with it.

Terence · #13 30th September 2010, 18:14

No I'm a pretty confident driver but I do tend to avoid other drivers dirty looks and don't get involved in road rage stuff. I'd do a hit and run before i'd get out of a car and argue the toss with somebody in the street. It's pointless anyway there's so much crap driving on the roads it's become the norm so I don't worry so much about it as I'm not the worst driver out there.

I always have a snigger watching people trying to reverse park and three point turn. I know I shouldn't but it's a right laugh watching some people who have passed tests frigging it up. Cos they're too stressed though. You have to relax and driving becomes real easy.

WelshKat · #14 30th September 2010, 23:11

When I first started driving, I was absolutely petrified but the more I've driven and the more experience I've got, i've been able to relax more and now I rather enjoy it and the independence it brings. I love putting my music on and just going for a drive. I still have my limits: I avoid driving in cities and I'm very nervous driving on unfamiliar roads. I do get anxious and panicky in some situations but I'm still learning. Stick at it and you get more used to it.