I've hit rock bottom

[Josh90]

I've never been as depressed, angry and tired as I have been right now, everyday seems to get worse and worse, its taking its toll physically and mentally. I'm in college right now on a year course which will take me to university for 3 years, I decided I wanted to be a paramedic but I don't really want to do that anymore and I'm dreading what will happen If I cant find another career route that interests me, Im 20 and I still don't know what i want as a career...,

I have no qualifications and I've never had a job, I left school at 16 and was basically in and out of college for 4 years failing or dropping out of various courses, some were decent and some a waste of time, during the time of last year of school (2005) till 2009 I was playing World Of Warcraft non stop, it was pretty much all I did, I lost interest in education during that period, I've never been very smart academically and I dont trust my own ability.

It takes me sometimes 2 hours to get to college and back because the college is so far away and it was the only one which offered the course I wanted to do, and I dont drive because I'm too lazy to revise the test, everyday I get headaches from forcing myself to act 'normal'. I have no friends and never had a girlfriend but I have kissed a girl before drunk at a party which was good, the only social thing I do is football on Sundays or Mondays with an old school 'friend' who is more like an acquintance nowdays, besides that I have no contact with anyone besides my parents, I dont even feel like trying to make friends anymore, I dont see the point, I dont have anything in common with most people and my views on the world and interests, thoughts etc are pretty different and I could say offensive to some people.

I see no light at the end of this tunnel.

[WelshKat]

Hi Josh,
Sorry to hear your having a really hard time of it right now. I've been in a similar position where I've isolated myself from everyone I knew and was perfectly happy with that. I've also done the World of Warcraft thing. I spent pretty much the first year of university playing that. It was the only thing that kept me sane as I was struggling so much living in halls.

I regret that now though. I'm 26 and have no jobs and no friends and I really regret the decisions I made back then, because it's really hard trying to pull myself out of this hole at this stage.

Have you had any sort of help, like have you been to a GP at all? Reading (good) self-help books can also help. Otherwise, keep in touch with us on here. Sounds like you're in a bit of a hole right now. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. Don't give up.

Kath

[teacheraid]

Originally Posted by Josh90

I've never been as depressed, angry and tired as I have been right now, everyday seems to get worse and worse, its taking its toll physically and mentally. I'm in college right now on a year course which will take me to university for 3 years, I decided I wanted to be a paramedic but I don't really want to do that anymore and I'm dreading what will happen If I cant find another career route that interests me, Im 20 and I still don't know what i want as a career...,

You are so so young, with a very long way to go yet, your career could change many times yet, I would give yourself a little breathing room, you dont have to have it all worked out yet. Are you in counselling? Taking medication? Have someone to support you?At 20 it is just the beginning

I have no qualifications and I've never had a job, I left school at 16 and was basically in and out of college for 4 years failing or dropping out of various courses, some were decent and some a waste of time, during the time of last year of school (2005) till 2009 I was playing World Of Warcraft non stop, it was pretty much all I did, I lost interest in education during that period, I've never been very smart academically and I dont trust my own ability.

It takes me sometimes 2 hours to get to college and back because the college is so far away and it was the only one which offered the course I wanted to do, and I dont drive because I'm too lazy to revise the test, everyday I get headaches from forcing myself to act 'normal'. I have no friends and never had a girlfriend but I have kissed a girl before drunk at a party which was good, the only social thing I do is football on Sundays or Mondays with an old school 'friend' who is more like an acquintance nowdays, besides that I have no contact with anyone besides my parents, I dont even feel like trying to make friends anymore, I dont see the point, I dont have anything in common with most people and my views on the world and interests, thoughts etc are pretty different and I could say offensive to some people.

I see no light at the end of this tunnel.

[lostkitten]

I feel like I was reading about myself most of the time. Im on a years course as well at college at 20.
I find it very tough and exhausting-mentally and physically, although now I know what I want to do career wise. I'm not the smartest person, and I find anxiety really affecting my learning, especially speaking up which I dread every day.
I hit rock bottom from the beginng of the course. What I do is try to do more exercise and positive thinking. Deal with one week at a time. Always trying to keep a balance of things.
Hope you'll get better!