negative/obsessive thought patterns

[AutumnLeaves]

I guess iv mentioned this before, but im struggling! I get these negative thoughts in my head and they plague me and plague me and distract me. I try not to listen to them, it's like there's two sides of me - the easy going fun loving person that id like to be, that sometimes manages to come out, but there is this monster, this horrible voice telling me that everything's going to go horribly wrong and il have no-one to blame but myself. It's hard not to listen to it. Every so often, il get a good grade or something, and il feel better, but when i don't have that kind of confirmation for a while, i just feel disaster looming over and i lose my sense of humour and become irritable and not fun to be around. When am i going to learn not to listen to these thoughts? I mean, what's the worst that could happen? They usually turn out to be wrong anyway, but there's always this niggling feeling that it might really go badly wrong this time.....and it will if i let them distract me as much as they are just now! It will become self-fulfilling....which worries me even more!

Can others relate to this? Has anyone found a way of beating these thoughts?

[Stanley Rainbird]

I noticed my negative thoughts always seemed to be saying the same things to me so my therapist told me to label them as tapes. It sounded basic but soon enough I began to notice the patterns in my negative thoughts and gave them names like 'idiot tape', 'humiliation tape', 'freak tape', 'no future tape', 'failure tape' and so on. I write down what these thoughts are telling me, what brought on this thinking, then I set about making my argument against it. It's amazing how simple the message these thoughts keep repeating are sometimes and I've had quite a bit of success in making a argument against some of these beliefs. Some still haunt me though, ones I have no answer to, because I still truly believe in them. They are the big BDD ones and ones about how worthless I am as a person but I've found it a useful thing to do.

[AutumnLeaves]

These are both good tips. Thanks guys, will seriously try these. I love the idea of singing although it may help me while making my flatmate do something bad to himself

[Mr. Nobody]

I'm struggling with this too Autumn~Leaves,..

I remember being quite shocked and disturbed once when I was watching a film called "Touching the Void",..it was about two Mountaineers who were climbing a remote peak in the Andes,..one of them fell, broke his ankle and had to be carried off the mountain,..things didn't go well and the injured climber fell into a deep crevasse and was, in the eyes of the other climber, dead,..he ended up being badly de-hydrated,..mal~nourished, extremely physically tired to the point of exhaustion, and had lost all hope,...

the point I was going to make was that, he recounts, that, in that state he had all these horrible, silly, uncontrollable thoughts going on constantly and had no energy, intelligence, or will to do anything about them,..and on hearing this part of the film, I suddenly felt,...oh shit!!! that's me,..ALL THE TIME!!

I was then really worried about just how bad I was,..this climber had good reason to be in this state, and yet this has always been my default position,..
a constant barrage of self-depreciating, negative, energy-sapping, taunting, humiliating thoughts, that I just can't control !!

I was at a CBT group therapy session last night and the Psychologist said that what we had to do was to challenge these thoughts by finding evidence for and against them,..by being almost scientiific about it, and evaluating whether these thoughts actually stand up to our scrutinisation & investigation,..
i.e. .... what ( if any ) evidence suppports this ( particular ) thought
what evidence is there against this thought,..
and what would be a measured, balanced thought, that could, on reflection replace the original negative self-depreciating thought.
this invloves keeping some form of notebook, to perhaps jot down these negative thoughts, in a quiet moment, and then to perform this "evidence for - evidence against - balanced thought" process

I'm just starting this priocess now as the latest session on this was last night.

[yuffie]

I get awful thoughts and images (all negative) and I cannot stop them. I think my brain is my worst enemy, it's like it's torturing me. I have been trying to stop them for years with no joy at all. I have tried meditation (couldn't concentrate) and medication, perhaps it's just my pathology.

[Puppet]

After my two terrible work experiences I have been expereincing a lot of flashbacks and even nightmares. Sometimes I wake up with a racing hearbeat and it isn't nice to start the day with panicking due to these negative thoughts. They are always in the back of my head. Even when I am trying to enjoy myself by listening to music or singing. They are still there! They just won't disappear, it makes me feel like a failure, makes me feel like I am nothing or going no where in life.

I can totally relate to what you said in your first post though. I feel like they are two sides of me. On one side I have this poisonous voice telling me everything will go wrong. On the other side I have this other voice which makes me feel good and puts all these pleasent images in my head which stops me worrying. It is a shame that the negative thoughts are stuck in my head the majority of the day.

Going slightly off topic... I do feel sometimes there is something out there which controls me. I feel like a puppet in some dark twisted fantasy story. That is another thing my mind tells me. Due to what has happened in my life I feel like I'm going down one path and one path only. This is what my mind tells me. I have always thought like this but as I get older I seem to believe it more and more...

[Dandelion10]

Because deep down I fear embarrassment so much I end up saying and doing embarrassing things all the time. Yesterday I said something awful to my boss about her looks but it was a Freudian slip she said 'be careful what you say, I'm not that bad!'.

Sometimes when people get really close to me I think they can read my thoughts so I fight images of skin diseases and infestations. It's pure SA and no I haven't found an effective weapon. The only thing for it is to do all the things you know you should do (go out, try socialise, meditate) and the resulting confidence will beat it.

I also have mammoth compulsive patterns of behaviour that I'm terrified of letting go of. I really have to stick to a recovery plan.

[WelshKat]

I get plagued by these. I seem to go through phases. One particular theme will bug me for awhile, then that will subside slightly and something else will take it's place. It's very annoying.

Distracting myself by watching TV or keeping busy can burst the bubble somewhat but it's very difficult.

I went to the gp about 2 weeks ago and she gave me tablets which help with this particular symptom. I haven't started them yet though, because I'm a bit skeptical. Still, if things carry on as they are, I'll give them a go.

[Phool]

oh god...all the time...

One counsellor told me to imagine a little man in overalls with a big pot of white paint and a ladder inside my head...and he's painting over all these bad words until there is only white space. My little man has a flat cap and whistles : )

Saying things out loud can help in that you are physically expelling this junk from your body and letting it float away.

On a really practical level try to write a list of good things in your life, things you are grateful for...sort of takes the focus off the negative.

[Stumble]

I used to plague myself with doom and gloom negative thoughts. A mixture of fluoxotein and CBT has got me over this.

Looking back, I would start with a small, trivial negative thought and nagg myself with it, and it would become bigger and bigger, and an absolute certainty that it was going to happen. It takes alot of work to stamp these big ones out but techniques like those described by Black Sheep Boy and halfempty glass helped me. The other one that helps me is counting how often I have had the same thought. Again distracts me and makes me realise how daft I am being. When I get to 3 I say, "yes, you've already said that." and try to think something else.

I catch them while they are small now which is alot easier, and I barely know I'm doing it half the time.

Hope you can focus soon, it really wont be as bad as you are telling yourself.

[catlover]

Yes, the negative thoughts seem to take over at specific times, like on weekends if i have nothing to do, or on holidays, or when i can't sleep.

Keeping busy helps to keep the thoughts at bay.