Hairdressers

[anna123]

Does anyone else dread going to the hairdressers? It's not the fact of having my hair done( although I never seem to get a hairstyle that I can look after, and I do try to explain about it!) It's having to talk to the hairdresser. I have been to this one for a few years now and I think she knows I'm not someone who talks alot, but she still tries to make conversation, and I have problems sometimes responding, it normally comes out as just one answer replies, and its even worse when I try talking when there are hairdryers going because I'm not very good at projecting my voice so I can tell she can hardly hear me! I also feel stupid because all the other customers are talking away to their hairdressers and I'm just sitting there

[Mr Ploppy]

I suppose it's more difficult for women as they are expected to chat away. Traditional male barbers are often quiet places with little chitchat.

[xTKsaucex]

Originally Posted by Dragnet

I suppose it's more difficult for women as they are expected to chat away. Traditional male barbers are often quiet places with little chitchat.

agreed, as for dreading hairdressers I used to as it felt like I was on the spot to talk and also be looked at but I grew out of that anxiety a few years back. my local has a mix of male and female hairdressers and there is a massive difference between who you get and the amount of conversation. I personally don't see every customer chit chat not stop with their hair dressers so I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

[Detox]

Its why I cut my own hair, the barbers always do it too short anyway. And I like mine just right.

[Gamgee]

Oh yeah, I think this is a pretty common issue - and something that the best way to deal with is to simply accept the situation for what it is (or buy a set of hair clippers - easy solution if you're a bloke). Not everyone talks to their hairdressers. But it can feel very uncomfortable when others there are. Especially if your hairdresser is talking to someone else while they are cutting your hair...

I never once got offered a cup of tea or coffee at my old barbers !!

Emphasis on the word 'old' - I've been cutting my own hair the past couple of years

[Stumble]

Other thing that used to stress me out was whether to tip, and how to go about it.

My current hairdressers arn't very chatty, and charge too much so don't desrve a tip. Both problems sorted!

[Dandelion10]

I had all my long blonde hair cut off on Friday, my sister came up to do it, now it's cropped really short like La Roux.

I thought it would look nice and pixie-like on my small head, it kind of does. It's such a complete re-style that it's hard to know what to think of it but I've decided I prefer mid-length. I was going to have it bleached next week but I may just leave it to grow out then have it coloured.

I was nervous about Rachel coming up as she's getting married next month and I haven't spoke to her in a millennia but we had a laugh as we often do and chatted quite well. I'm not as phased by her as I used to be and it's good to get free hair cuts although I wouldn't care if I went to a salon, I can't hide my weirdness so I always leave with that dejected feeling and make people uncomfortable but **** them.

[dave81uk]

I hate the barbers, I've been once in the past 10 years believe it or not, I just cut my own now. Its the entire thing I hate, you go in and there is a que, so you have to sit and wait and I don't do waiting, then he talks random crap to you when you'd rather just be left alone.

[Chihiro]

I cut my own hair with professional scissors, it's just a basic layered look and it's actually pretty good. The last time I've been to the hairdressers was 10 years ago and that was an ordeal. The first time i'd been I was so nervous in speaking to him that I let him cut without explaining what I wanted. When I saw what he was doing I panicked and said that's not what I want, and he was pissed off that I mislead him. I don't usually talk unless I'm being spoken to, that gives them the idea that I'm not a talker, and they don't usually bother. Just have a magazine in front of your lap or something, or you can put on an accent and pretend you don't speak English very well

[pinkwafer]

Really don't like it. Mine needs cutting again. I hate someone being that close. For years I just didn't go at all.

[AxelFendersson]

Oddly enough, it doesn't bother me. They only ever want to talk about one thing: my hair. This is a subject that is so limited that I've learned basically every possible conversation that can be had about it off by heart. Which makes it very easy.

I do find it weird though. OK, so you'd expect a hairdresser to be more interested in hair than the average person. If they weren't, then they would probably be in the wrong career. But they cut lots of people's hair every day. Surely they will have seen long, curly hair enough times by now that it isn't all that amazing any more? Apparently not. I've sort of got used to it by now, but it is odd.

[STRING3R]

Haven't been to the hairdressers for about 3 years now, mainly because my hair doesn't seem to grow anymore.

[anna123]

Originally Posted by I Love My Cats

Exactly how I feel in a nutshell anna123! I feel intimidated by other customers making witty and ongoing conversation with their hairdressers and become more and more rigid and fearful of conversation in case I miss something she says and she thinks I'm an imbecile. I try to make conversation, when I'm spoken to, but it's a real chore. It's also not easy having a giant mirror right in front of you when you hate looking at yourself and are conscious of being looked at.

I think it's harder for me because my hair is really fine, but really really thick, so theres loads of it and by the time I go to get it done, theres so much of it, it takes ages to fix and I'm there for hours. I haven't been to get my hair done since April and the thought of going fills me with dread - by the time I get out from having my hair done, I just feel physically and emotionally drained by the whole thing.

Someone once suggested getting someone to come to the house, but I think that would be even worse for me - like someone invading my wee comfort bubble.

I hate seeing myself in the mirror when I'm talking to someone, but luckly I have to take my glasses off most of the
time! I've also got really thick hair which takes ages to cut etc. I know what you mean about someone coming to the house, I thought about it a few times but I'm not sure about it.

I'm glad to see theres alot of people who have the same problem with hairdressers, its a pity we all couldnt go to the same one maybe we wouldn't feel so bad then!

[warmness]

I need my hair cutting badly, its grown so long its like a mop, though my mind is refusing to go to my local hairdressers

[pigstar]

Another vote here for home hairdressing - it's a learning experience, if nothing else. It can actually help solve problems, because there's a chance that you'll end up with something so misguided that there's no way you could explain it to any prospective hairdresser anyway*, so you can't go. Decision made!

It's also a great opportunity to catch up with what's in fashion in the world of hats and headscarves.

(sigh)

The thing is, I can't seem to stop. It's become a compulsion. I have sort of figured out that a lot of weird hair experiments can be passed off as avant-garde and arty - it depends on the rest of your style, but it's mostly a matter of confidence**. If you ever get the chance to look at one of those odd magazines that are all just photos of haircuts, there are a lot of...um, interesting? styles out there. That said, I'm usually at the stage where whatever I've done looks crap at the moment, but might turn out well in a month or two. But during that time, I start thinking that it might be kind of cool if I tried this, or that bit over there needs a trim, and before I know what I'm doing I'm back at the "grow it out" stage...

*although this: "we were so drunk last night, my (imaginary) friend did it. and I'm still really hungover so sorry if I don't talk much." has actually worked for me a few times.

**not that I actually have much.

EDIT: this clip puts it better than I could:

nathan barley gets a geek pie

[catlover]

I've always hated the hair dressers; I've been doing my own hair for many years now.

I had a female stylist (the same one) for a couple of years. Usually, I said nothing during the sessions. Once I tried to actually say a few words and she seemed to take it as if I were coming on to her; that prompted her to mention her boyfriend. Actually, coming on to her was the furthest thing from my mind; I was only trying to avoid seeming to be a total moron.

Anyway, it became abundantly clear to me that I have absolutely no clue how to engage in this kind of casual conversation with a stranger.

[WelshKat]

Been for my haircut today actually. Felt quite nervous about it last night because I haven't been in the best mood lately but it was fine if a little uncomfortable. I've been to the same stylist for the past year now and I feel okay going to her. It's expensive but they cut my hair nice and try to make you feel comfortable, though that's a hard job with me! The thing that makes me feel most uncomfortable is the fact that it's quite a trendy place and I am the most untrendy person ever! I feel like I don't fit in but, hey, having a nice hair cut boosts my self-esteem slightly. I look at it as practice and exposure to my anxiety!

I try to relax and go with the flow. Usual topics for chat: what I'm doing the rest of the day, the weather, holidays, X Factor/Strictly. I don't watch the X Factor but I have been watching Strictly this year so I could chat a little about that (Ann Widdecombe )!

[Rane]

I haven't been to a barber in years. I hated all the chatty crap, plus having to stare at myself in a mirror.. 'shudders' ...not good.
I don't think anyone has ever cut my and not told me 'how thick' it was. Thanks for that, I wouldn't have noticed myself, even though its attached to my head.

anyway got myself a set of theses


problem solved

[graham87]

^ same here, i cut mine yesterday

[Khan]

I'd be nervous going to a hairdresser/salon type place - there's something about making an appointment to get a hair cut which unsettles me. In my mind it's something the bold and beautiful do, and I'd hate to turn up in a posh salon (where a haircut costs double figures and they have 'clientelle') and bring the tone of the place down with my nervous appearance and lack of enthusiasm. I go to a nice little barber's shop where the owner knows only enough English to understand what I'd like and doesn't make small talk at all.

Also, I keep my eyes down when having my haircut. Seeing my face in the mirror for too long kind of sets me off laughing - don't know why.

[ChouAnn]

Haven't been to the hairdressers since last year. It's hard enough trying to engage with people when their opposite you, let alone behind, and the price for a simple wash and cut was just extortionate. I don't like anyone touching my hair, anyway. I sometimes wonder if investing in a load of wigs would solve the problem

[AxelFendersson]

Originally Posted by Rane

anyway got myself a set of theses

problem solved

Once my hair has receded enough that keeping it long isn't possible any more without it looking silly, I will probably do the same. Not because I particularly hate going to the hairdresser or barber, but just because I quite like the level of self-reliance implicit in cutting one's own hair.

[pigstar]

We need to start building robots. Robots that cut hair. I like to think they're working on it in Japan already...

Seriously, this is such a common problem, I don't know why the industry doesn't take account of it. Like, train stylists to be able to tell who wants to chat and who doesn't, or have designated "quiet" salons or something. No-one should feel like they have to spend hours watching crap TV just to have something to talk about, and no-one should feel pressured into choosing between talking about things they're not comfortable talking about, or making up stories which make them seem more "normal". We only want to get our damn hair cut...

[MichaelAlone]

I started shaving my own head at about 18yrs old - now i'm bald it's so much easier Baldness is a positive for me. I think i was about 16 when i last visited a barbers *shudders*.

[Ian2]

I used to find going to the barbers really difficult, its definately something to do with having a mirror in front of me. I was always scared I'd faint in the chair or make a fool of myself. But somehow I managed to overcome that fear and became friends with my barber.

[BlueJayWay]

I get really anxious before going to get my hair cut. It's the hair washing part that scares me most though, once I'm in the chair getting my hair cut, I just look at the floor and answer whatever questions they give me in any way I can.
I think it helps if you have a magazine (and pretend to look interested in what you're reading), so they hopefully won't feel like they need to keep a conversation going.
Last time I went, they were training students too, so they were standing watching which was pretty terrifying.

[Lone Dog]

I've been putting it off for a few weeks now, and even found myself looking through the catalogue in Argos for clippers so I could do it myself. But what a disaster that would no doubt be! I shall have to get some courage together and go along and have it cut.

[yuffie]

I haven't been to the hairdressers in about 18 years. My hair is just long and straight so I get my daughter to give it a trim.

Something else I don't need to go outside for.