Staff night out

[StoneyStone]

Has anyone been on one - I haven't

I started at a new job last week and yesterday one of my bosses invited me to a staff night out this Sat and for some reason I said I would come along.

I'm really nervous about it though because I virtually never go out drinking anyway. I'm not too bad with pubs and bars but I'm thinking we might end up hitting some clubs which is pretty much my worst nightmare. I hate dancing (even when I'm really wasted) and I look totally awkward when I try
I know I don't HAVE to do it but on the other hand I think it would look a bit sad if I just stood at the bar all night while everyone else was on the dancefloor

I'm thinking of just saying 'sorry, somethings come up' and that I can't go and save myself a load of grief and awkwardness with my new colleges.

If you have been on one, how was it? Did you regret going?

Any advice would be great thanks

[Rane]

I went to two and never went to one again after that, many excuses were used. I'm sure a lot of them sounded like utter rubbish as excuses but I couldn't face going back to another one.

[dave81uk]

I went to one and it was horrible, here was all these back stabbers trying to act like they were all best friends and all trying to buy the boss drinks etc, in the end I went home early, the entire thing made my stomach turn

[StoneyStone]

Originally Posted by John Rane

I went to two and never went to one again after that, many excuses were used. I'm sure a lot of them sounded like utter rubbish as excuses but I couldn't face going back to another one.

What put you off them if you dont mind me asking?

[WelshKat]

Hi StoneyStone!

I went on my first staff outing last Christmas and, like you, before the event I was asking myself, "Why, oh why did I agree to go???!!!". I was absolutely terrified for a number of reasons:
1) I don't drink, hence my alcohol tolerance is pathetically low, whereas my colleagues loved knocking their drinks back. So I knew they wouldn't let me get away with not drinking.
2) We were going to go into Swansea after the meal in the hotel. I'd never been to Swansea before and it suggested to me a looong night of drinking.
3) Most were staying overnight in the hotel where the meal was... and I'd agreed to that as well! Which made backing out of it difficult because the room had been booked and I was sharing with someone.

Anyway, after much worrying and dread before the event... it was absolutely fine. There was an awkward moment when we arrived at the hotel and everyone wanted a quick drink in the bar. I wanted a J20 rather than start drinking early but they weren't having any of it and got me a lager, which I then spent aaaages just sipping. So I had to come up with some excuse as to why I wasn't knocking it back. I can't remember what I said but I think I said something like, 'I don't like the taste of alcohol' or 'It makes me feel sick if I drink too much'. They didn't seem convinced. And there were some more moments like that where they were trying to get me to drink quicker but those were the only bad things really. After a while, a few of them were getting rather drunk and so the attention shifted onto them. Huzzah. I'm glad I went.

So I think you should go because it's hardly ever as bad as we fear. And when we have done something we fear it feels great afterward and gives you a good confidence boost. Do you know where you're going? If you are going to clubs, usually they're pretty packed so there's not much room for dancing or for people watching you dance though I'm not an expert.

I guess it depends on what type of night out it is. Personally, if I was going on a staff night out, I wouldn't expect to end up in a club. I'm not too fond of them myself. Maybe if you ask around this week as to where they're planning to go and what previous outings have been like, you'll have a better idea of whether you'll enjoy it or not. So, if they say, "We're going to a club and we're going to dance all night," you might think that it's not for you!

I'm glad I went to my staff do because it made subsequent outings less scary and it challenged a lot of my unhelpful beliefs about what I could and could not do. It's a good thing to do something that we find scary and it also means you don't feel excluded when they're talking about it on Monday!

All the best (sorry to ramble on!),
Kath

[StoneyStone]

Thanks Kath. After reading your post I'm feeling much more positive about it I saw it as sort of a challenge too

I think we're meeting at Walkabout in town and going on from there. They had a night out a few weeks ago too so I will ask about how that went.

Unlike you I actually NEED to drink loads to get me through these things lol

[StoneyStone]

Originally Posted by Luco

Yeah i've been to loads. I allways found them really hard to be honest, but i allways use to force myself to go. It's a lot of pressure for you if you've only been in your new job for a week. If i was you, i'd only go if i was sure there was one or two people i felt reasonably comfortable being around.

Yeh I'm hoping at least a few of the people I feel more comfortable around end up going. Otherwise I might have 2nd thoughts.

Originally Posted by Luco

I was asked to organise the christmas dinner one year for about 30 blokes. I found a local pub went in booked it. It was a typical christmas party, everyone pissed up. It went a bit wrong towards the end of the night though, one of the blokes started a fight with the resident Christmas bear, and someone got headbutted. Typical Christmas party.

Sounds great, who won?

[StoneyStone]

Originally Posted by Luco

My money was on the bear, cos he was bloody angry. I think someone had a go at him eariler in the evening, luckily most of the blokes had the sense to break it up.

Shame, I guess we'll never know for sure who was the 'ardest. I had a vision of man and bear slowly circling each other while everyone else gathered round shouting 'FIGHT! FIGHT!' like in the playground lol

[littlejack]

Staff nights out are the worst event on my calendar. I try and avoid 1 out of 2 with an excuse.

Has anyone actually said that they are not interested in going? It would be very hard to make an excuse for every one.

Has anyone actually been honest and said for example "I don't enjoy nights out"?

[Craig75]

I just got handed a copy of the Christmas menu for the factory party on the 3rd December. I never go to them. I just say I'm not going. I can't bear to be around them people at work when I'm here, let alone in my own time.
Just tell them you are not going. Don't give an excuse, it's none of their business.

[marki]

Originally Posted by Ashmonkey

I just got handed a copy of the Christmas menu for the factory party on the 3rd December. I never go to them. I just say I'm not going. I can't bear to be around them people at work when I'm here, let alone in my own time.
Just tell them you are not going. Don't give an excuse, it's none of their business.

Am in a similar situation i never go either. I do get a bit of stick but i reckon thats easier than actually going. The people at work do know i have some "issues" though they dont really know what those issues are.

[ebonyeyes]

I think its a good way to get to know the people you work with you could go for a few drinks and skip the clubbing you might enjoy it.

[StoneyStone]

Originally Posted by littlejack

Staff nights out are the worst event on my calendar. I try and avoid 1 out of 2 with an excuse.

Has anyone actually said that they are not interested in going? It would be very hard to make an excuse for every one.

Has anyone actually been honest and said for example "I don't enjoy nights out"?

A few people were sort of are umming and ahhing about it when I asked earlier in the week so I think that might mean they aren't to keen.

Originally Posted by J-Dog

Been to loads. Some were great some were shite. Depends on the co-workers.

Worst: probably seeing the girl I was secretly in love with get off with another guy we worked with at the Christmas bash.

Best: possibly breaking up a fight between my boss and some other guys

Maybe duck out before they hit the club?

Yeh that was pretty much my plan - bail out if things go 'club-shaped' lol

[LonelyOnTheInside]

I'm forcing challenging myself and going to a leaving party tomorrow evening

It's a joint leaving do at the consultant's house, along with another Doc and a registrar that are leaving. So it's gonna be full of posh Docs, their annoying secretaries and a gaggle of nurses......and 4 of us admin staff
I've been talked into it and someone is giving me a lift there, but I'm trying to think of the positives of putting myself out there and trying to mingle with these people.

I finished my therapy last week () and feel if I'm gonna put myself into this position, which to me, is the ultimate test of my anxieties, it's now or never.

On the plus side, there's gonna be LOT'S of free wine and food

[WelshKat]

Originally Posted by littlejack

Staff nights out are the worst event on my calendar. I try and avoid 1 out of 2 with an excuse.

Has anyone actually said that they are not interested in going? It would be very hard to make an excuse for every one.

Has anyone actually been honest and said for example "I don't enjoy nights out"?

When I worked in a vets, one of the nurses would just say that she didn't like going out and drinking so she didn't go. She'd go out for a meal or something, but if people were then hitting the pubs and clubs she'd head home. Some people called her boring or wondered why she didn't wanna come but that was all, no major ribbing. Most people seemed to respect her choice. I always thought, "Wow, I wish I could be like that."

[StoneyStone]

Well, after all that it looks like the Sat thing I was on about is off because of a lack of interest (from our dept. anyway) so thats one less thing for me to worry about.

I did feel a bit guilty today though because after work everyone went for a drink together and I just said couldn't go but I would come along next time and my boss had a light-hearted dig at me for it.

I actually would have liked to have gone but I hate getting home really late and not having time or being too tired to do any exercise.