Never been on an airplane

[Bast]

I know it sounds a bit weird, but I have a real hang up about this. As a kid we never had holidays or got taken anywhere. I've never been to an airport or on an airplane. My boyfriend has been all over the world and his parents too. My Uncles on my dad's side are always going off places.

I get really emotional when I talk to my boyfriend about it. He doesn't get how much is rolled up into the fact I've never been on a flight. I think it's all about how shit my childhood was and being left behind my peers (all going to exotic holidays).

Now I am torn between thinking it's for rich people and giving it a go myself.

I don't really want replies from people who have flown, I'd like to know if there are people out there like me, who've never flown.

I was once (more than once) made to feel like shit for never having been on a flight. It haunts me a bit.

bertha

[Gattaca]

I've flown as a kid but since age 11 (when my parents divorced) I've not even left the country in 25 yrs. If my dad hadn't earnt a decent wage back then I doubt we'd have gone abroad and I'd not have flown either.

All I remember is throwing up in a sickbag and being cramped and bored. As regards the actual flying in a plane part, you didn't miss much.

[Bast]

Originally Posted by crazyfairyx

I don't know if I should reply really, because up until last month I'd never been on a plane, so I fit into the category of 'has been on a plane' but I can really relate to how much you feel like you're missing out and 'behind' on experiences. I always felt low when my boyfriend or friends told me about when they'd been abroad.

My family was always too broke and I was terrified of the idea. But I found out it's not that big a deal once you've done it. You can get pretty cheap flights, so if it bothers you that much don't disregard it as being for rich people, cos I'm definately not rich lol!

Anyway, sorry, I know you said don't reply if you've been on a plane, but I just can relate so much to what you said, feel free to ignore x

Sorry, I didn't mean for people not to reply who've been on planes. I just wanted people who understood to reply. I've had so many bad experiences of people telling me "you're not missing much" etc and not understanding why it upsets.

I'm glad you posted, it makes me feel less alone. I really don't understand why it upsets me so much, but I've always felt like I'm the only person in the world (certainly the only person I know) who's never flown.

thanks fairy.

[incommunicado]

I've flown lots, supersonic, and jumped from planes but still retain that initial excitement and wonderment looking out the window down on the world trying to pick out landmarks. One of my brothers was terrified, asked if the sky was brown up there and other stupid questions. Took him on a British Airways flight for those scared of flying, he lost most of his fear and takes his family all over the world, he worries more about getting to the airport on time now. These schemes are still available but are very expensive now, probably better to get a cheap flight explaining at check-in that it's your first and get a window seat to enjoy the veiw. Good luck.

[Orchid]

Why not just book a short break to Europe, which will be a relatively short flight, and then you will have experienced it! I didn't fly until I was 24, and I I haven't flown in the three years since. I would love to fly again, but don't think I'll have the money available this year. I thought that the flight there (to Australia) was fabulous after I got over the initial fear about the take off! I got a window seat and kept peeking out of the window, watching the clouds and land go by was amazing!

[Winnie57]

Hi Bertha - I'd never been abroad until I was in my forties (I'm still in my forties - just!) I've always felt deprived about not having travelled and I would love to be able to travel more but circumstances (and SA) just don't allow it. I've now been abroad just four times - three of them on mini-cruises to NOrway, Belgium and Holland and ONE flight to Barcelona.

I would say if you get the chance to fly go for it! I found it quite scary but would do it again if I had another person to cling onto as I did last time. I would never have the nerve to take my son on a flight alone. If I did take him abroad (as I hope to) it would have to be on EuroTrain or whatever it's called or on another mini cruise.

I don't think there's anything to be ashamed of for not having flown and whoever made you feel that way is not worth knowing in my opinion! I would just say grab the chance if you can and feel up to it as it is one of life's experiences and it can take you somewhere nice too

[hardy]

there are some fantastically cheap flights in winter .go for it!
This is a bit like the virginity question! why should you feel bad about not doing something JUST because others have done it!
Its a self esteem thing .Try to value what YOU want and not measure everything by others.

[Left Of The Dial]

I was once (more than once) made to feel like shit for never having been on a flight. It haunts me a bit.

Yeah, I've never flown either (although i am only 18) and i know how you feel about that! Like when other people talk about going on holidays all over the world to exotic places, then they ask me where i've been and i can only say boring places in Britain. It isn't something that bothers me too much, but does feel sometimes like other people are rubbing it in. So i definately know how you feel about this.

[seasprite]

Ive never flown either, the nearest ive come to flying has been being on a stationary Concorde at an air museum. It does bug me when people say you should go to this country or that country, the flight are cheap, blah, blah but until i can afford to travel to a country i'd like to, rather than the places freinds and family go to for sitting on beaches or clubbing i'd rather just travel around the UK.

[clawhammer.]

I***8217;ve never flown either, and it***8217;s one of my goals to fly somewhere this year.

My problem has never been due to lack of dosh or opportunities to fly, it***8217;s just my sheer terror of flying.

A few years back, one of my sisters was involved in a coach crash in Majorca. Nine people were killed and my sister spent a few days in a coma. Most of my family flew out to Majorca to be at my sister's bedside, but I stayed at home because of my fear of flying ***8211; something that made me feel ultra guilty about at the time.

I live just 15 minutes from Stansted Airport, so it***8217;s tempting to hop on a cheap flight one day. Then again, I***8217;m also tempted to go on one of those Virgin or British Airways ***8216;fear of flying***8217; courses which cost about £250. Expensive, I know, but worth it I guess if it helps to overcome my fear.

Dunno if anyone else shares my fear of flying and fancies coming on a ***8216;fear of flying***8217; course with me, or maybe jumping on a cheap flight somewhere with me just to conquer our fear?

[Eklipse]

I haven't flown either and I can understand what you mean about other people making you feel down because of it. The reasons I've not been on a plane before is because of having no money, nowhere I want to go and I've had no one to go with. Now I've got a bf but he's not fussed about it. Sometimes when I have a bit of money to spend I discover that there's much more interesting things I need to buy instead of wasting it on some holiday abroad. The only holidays I've had are within Britain and to me it's not boring. I really don't like travelling much anyway as it makes me feel very sick and I wouldn't like being on a plane.

[Bast]

Thanks for the replies. It's great to know I'm not the only one. You've made me feel better.

[png]

Hi Bertha, a bit late, but . . .

I think i do understand what you mean about facing this obstacle; it's something i've felt about other 'rites of passage' in life. A sort of combination of regret, fear and anger that causes a kind of internal conflict? What i've noticed is that once you do confront and overcome these things, the negatives very quickly disappear. Go for it and have fun! On a practical level I find pre-booked ticketless flight the least stressy -- not sure whether that's available where you are (U.S.A.?)

G'luck

Phil

[Quaff]

I reckon I know how you feel Bertha. I'd been on a plane with my parents when I was about 12/13 once, which I don't remember. But the next 30 years were flightless. What made it even worse was that I have never had the slightest fear of flying and in fact I adore airplanes and go to airshows if I get half a chance. I felt pathetic and like a throwback to the sixties when air travel was only for the rich, and everyone else looked on with awe and envy.

I cracked it last year - I went to Africa. I'm glad I did if only to say I've done it, as I was starting to get a huge hang up about never having been aboard in my adult life. OK, I went with my mother, but at least my dream finally came true. Of course all the other passengers were completely blase, and I couldn't believe that people could read the newspaper or start to doze as the aircraft took off. For me it was an exciting exhillerating experience, and the part of the trip I enjoyed the most.

Round about this time of year, people start making their holiday plans and ask where I'm going. Last year was the exception and I don't know if I'll ever get the opportunity to go on holiday with someone again (unless I go with my mother!). I always shrug and say something non commital like I'll see what's available nearer the time. I'll admit I don't have a wanderlust and most of the time I'm quite happy to stay at home but I long to have a partner to go on holiday with for a week or even a few days.

I had a partner for 11 months - we broke up recently. Like your boyfriend Bertha, he travels a lot. When he'd talk to me about it, it seemed like there was no place he hadn't been, nothing he hadn't seen. It made me feel a bit awkward, because I couldn't really regale him with tales of a day trip to Hunstanton when he was telling me about the night life in Tokyo! To him, flying and everything that it entails was just another way of getting from A to B. We broke up when he decided to go abroad because 'he hadn't had a proper holiday that year' (he'd been to France a few months before) with someone else.

Sorry, I've gone on a bit but this subject is very close to my heart. I would never dare to bring it up myself because it seems so pathetic, so I'm thankful to be able to get this off of my chest as no one in my real life has any idea that it effects me at all.

What is it that stops you Bertha - is it a fear of flying or the apprehension of not knowing where you're going, what you're doing, being afraid that'll you end up looking like a fool, or having to rely on someone else? Apart from the first fear, I've got all the rest in shedloads lol.