How is everyone feeling? (28)

[Eklipse]

I don't feel tired. I've got so much to do like washing and maybe read a book.

[Concept]

Thanks Muggins. These last few days have been really hard emotionally.

[newbs16]

.

[newbs16]

Originally Posted by Concept

Thanks Muggins. These last few days have been really hard emotionally.

Are You ok?

[Memory]

Originally Posted by Jason90

That really sucks .

Originally Posted by Concept

Sorry to hear about the cancellation Memory. If you go alone, hope you have a good time. x

Thanks. Managed to drag a sibling with me (think they only came out of pity but whatever) and it was great.

[Mental Elf]

Not to good think I have food poisoning from a dodgy Vindaloo last night :O

[Jason90]

Originally Posted by Memory

Thanks. Managed to drag a sibling with me (think they only came out of pity but whatever) and it was great.

Glad you had a good time .

Originally Posted by Logic

Not to good think I have food poisoning from a dodgy Vindaloo last night :O

Food poisoning sucks, im sure your well aware but make sure you drink loads of fluids.

Originally Posted by WiIIow

Sad because we just scattered my nan and I don't know what I expected but it just didn't feel very special. I'm irritable because I've been with my family for 3 days straight. I just can't handle being around people for this long, my mum had a go at me this morning which just makes me feel worse. I just want to cry and be left alone for a while. I feel like I'm suffocating

At the same time I feel more alone than ever, I have no friends, I don't get on with my family. I must be a really awful person to be this unliked and unloved.

sorry your feeling so down Willow, being irritable is understandable. I'm sure your mum didn't want a fight but it must be stressful for her too and shes only human like everyone else, are you able to go for a walk on your own maybe to get some fresh air and be by yourself? there's nothing wrong with having a good cry if you feel you need to when my nan died I broke down while helping my dad clear her flat out it just felt so wrong, losing someone you love so much is a really hard to thing to deal with.

As for being unliked and unloved obviously i only know anything about you from what you post but you certainly don't come across as unlikable at all infact you come cross as a lovely, caring person and i think those thoughts are nonsense and you shouldn't believe them because their wrong. If you were so horrible why would you of posted those caring comments about your nans cat, from what i've read it seems like you've had a tough year and i hope things pick up for you, I have no doubt your family care more about you than you realise, hope you feel better soon .

[goldenjuniper]

Marvelous stayed in bed till half two had pizza and icecream and Dave's got red dwarf on. I could get used to this.

[Concept]

Originally Posted by Memory

Thanks. Managed to drag a sibling with me (think they only came out of pity but whatever) and it was great.

Nice to see you had a good time. : )

[Pablo Huntsbach]

Parents are out for tonight so it's a ready meal for one with a side of sadness tonight. This is the future…

[Concept]

The future is now.

[newbs16]

Originally Posted by endo_endo

I did my first day at Art Space today and it was okay after all the worrying it was mostly sitting around ( I find this dull and gives me way too much time to think ) but it feels good to be doing well and feeling like I'm moving forward again. I found the ride home hard it was just me and one other guy in a car in traffic and I felt like I had to talk ( I didn't because I talk when I have something to say rather than just filling in empty sound space ) Anyone else feel like that when you are in a one on one situation?

You did well to drive in car with a stranger x

[Bambos]

Originally Posted by Pablo Huntsbach

Parents are out for tonight so it's a ready meal for one with a side of sadness tonight. This is the future…

I will be dining alone tonight too. I raise my glass to you sir. It's baileys...I'm not sure whether I should be ashamed.

[Concept]

I'm really struggling. Haven't felt this low in a couple of years.

[Consolida]

Originally Posted by woof

lady pains feel groggy and tired

I know the feeling Woof Hope you feel better soon

Originally Posted by Logic

Not to good think I have food poisoning from a dodgy Vindaloo last night :O

Hope that isn't what you have!

Originally Posted by WiIIow

Sad because we just scattered my nan and I don't know what I expected but it just didn't feel very special. I'm irritable because I've been with my family for 3 days straight. I just can't handle being around people for this long, my mum had a go at me this morning which just makes me feel worse. I just want to cry and be left alone for a while. I feel like I'm suffocating

At the same time I feel more alone than ever, I have no friends, I don't get on with my family. I must be a really awful person to be this unliked and unloved.

I can only echo all of what Jason said. You always come across as such a kind and compassionate person in your posts Willow, the sort of person that could only ever be liked and loved. If you have no friends then its because the SA stops people from getting to know the real you not because you aren't a nice person. I suspect that lots of people do value you but they aren't much good at reminding you of this, or you dismiss compliments as not genuine but every little criticism as a true fact rather than one persons opinion.

Its obviously been an incredibly stressful time for you and the whole family because of your nans passing and its not surprisng that tempers are frayed and people say things they don't really mean in the heat of the moment. You obviiously loved your nan a great deal (that comes across in your posts here) and I should think that she would have regarded the scattering of her ashes as 'special' simply because it was carried out by a loving grand daughter and family who hold her memory so dear.

I'm rubbish with words at tmes but wanted to offer such a lovely SAUK member some comfort and support

Originally Posted by Concept

I'm really struggling. Haven't felt this low in a couple of years.

Hang in there Concept, these awful feelings wont last forever

[Tom123]

Sigh... Old wounds can really come back and **** things up. Shouldn't be surprised really.

Deep seated inadequacy fo lyf.

[Silver]

Physically and mentally feel crap. Had yet another epic failure trying to socialise the last three days. Wondering what the point is of keep trying when I just get rejected all the time for being quiet and unable to make conversation. Cannot wait to get on anti ds after finally realising how much I need them. If they don't help then I just want to give up :-(

[Silver]

for anyone feeling low.

Willow I like you as you are one of the few people I feel I can connect with. I hope these horrible feelings leave you soon.

[Merritt]

Well wishes for anyone feeling low.

Feeling pretty anxious about a package that was left with a neighbour. It's embarrassing to say, but I feel like I can't wind down until it gets sorted. Just that looming 'going to have to suddenly face someone at some completely random time' feeling. I don't think I have the confidence to go and fetch it myself. :$

[I Love My Cats]

Originally Posted by Concept

I'm really struggling. Haven't felt this low in a couple of years.

Sorry to hear that, Concept

My mood has really gone downhill over the past month or so, to the point where I made an idiot of myself sobbing in front of everyone on Friday. I'm so embarrassed but also really tired of trying to pretend I'm coping when I'm not. I'm off work for a week, but am concerned that I might not get back and will end up off sick as this is how I felt before my breakdown in 2010.

Hugs for everyone else who's struggling just now

[AutumnLeaves]

Originally Posted by Mrs I Love My Cats

Sorry to hear that, Concept

My mood has really gone downhill over the past month or so, to the point where I made an idiot of myself sobbing in front of everyone on Friday. I'm so embarrassed but also really tired of trying to pretend I'm coping when I'm not. I'm off work for a week, but am concerned that I might not get back and will end up off sick as this is how I felt before my breakdown in 2010.

Hugs for everyone else who's struggling just now

Aw no Mrs Cats I did that when I was working. And told my supervisor to f*** off when he followed me into the locker room :-O So at least you didn't do anything offensive like that :-) My professor at uni told me she's been in tears in front of her colleagues a few times, and so has the department's head of admin, if that's any help at all.... Maybe you could take the time off after the revision week instead of just pushing on? Even as holidays? It must be have been a lot of pressure with working and studying and having anxiety. Sounds like you've done really well

[I Love My Cats]

Originally Posted by AutumnLeaves

Aw no Mrs Cats I did that when I was working. And told my supervisor to f*** off when he followed me into the locker room :-O So at least you didn't do anything offensive like that :-) My professor at uni told me she's been in tears in front of her colleagues a few times, and so has the department's head of admin, if that's any help at all.... Maybe you could take the time off after the revision week instead of just pushing on? Even as holidays? It must be have been a lot of pressure with working and studying and having anxiety. Sounds like you've done really well

Thanks Ms Leaves I think more time off would be counter-productive and it'll make it even harder to go back. I've had some issues with the big boss and I'm feeling quite frightened of her now, so I'm not liking work at the mo. The longer I'm off, the more ill end up building all of that up. The worst thing about the tears was that it wasn't just a wee couple of minutes and then normal order was resumed. Once I started crying, I just couldn't stop, and then loads of people were hanging round, looking awkward and asking if I was ok. I was still crying after an hour - tried to do the 'business as usual' thing and just stare at the PC and type, but the tears kept coming and sploshing on the desk even though I was making no sound - then occasionally, I'd get one of those huge involuntary sniffs that makes it obvious to everyone that it's still going on :-/ I'm thinking of going back to the GP to ask about meds again, even though I've always told myself that I'd never go down that road again.

Hope the revision and exam stuff is going okay

[Pablo Huntsbach]

^Sorry that things are still bad. Difficult working conditions can be a huge drain on your energy and happiness, I hope you find a way to work things out.

I'm feeling lonely and like a failure. I might have an early night but I still won't get up until 11 or 1 tomorrow if I do.

[AutumnLeaves]

Originally Posted by Mrs I Love My Cats

Thanks Ms Leaves I think more time off would be counter-productive and it'll make it even harder to go back. I've had some issues with the big boss and I'm feeling quite frightened of her now, so I'm not liking work at the mo. The longer I'm off, the more ill end up building all of that up. The worst thing about the tears was that it wasn't just a wee couple of minutes and then normal order was resumed. Once I started crying, I just couldn't stop, and then loads of people were hanging round, looking awkward and asking if I was ok. I was still crying after an hour - tried to do the 'business as usual' thing and just stare at the PC and type, but the tears kept coming and sploshing on the desk even though I was making no sound - then occasionally, I'd get one of those huge involuntary sniffs that makes it obvious to everyone that it's still going on :-/ I'm thinking of going back to the GP to ask about meds again, even though I've always told myself that I'd never go down that road again.

Hope the revision and exam stuff is going okay

Ah yes, that makes sense. The CBT guy that I saw for a few weeks said that a lot of the people that go to him for CBT and other therapy are actually managers feeling really insecure and not feeling like they merit being the positions they're in. Think some of them can be quite arsey to make up for those feelings... And yes, I can identify with the prolonged crying.. tears landing on the keyboard as I tried to carry on using the 'CMM' machine whilst a bunch of guys got on with their work awkwardly around me. Apart from one really twisted guy, the rest never brought it up again. I think it takes guts to carry on like that and not just run away and stay away. And everyone just has to get on with it and forget about it. You're more experienced than me at the old work thing, but I do think that this rather mortifying experience for you will pass and be forgotten about. Sounds like a good idea to talk to your GP. Maybe just a short course of meds to get you through this particularly rough patch? Thanks :-) I still haven't written my essay, but I wrote to the student support people asking if my reason is good enough to ask for an extension, and if so, could they help me ask without telling the lecturer the specific reasons. And I sat my exam! Don't think the answers were that great but it feels like an achievement to have got through it and not run away. You and the other people who replied to my thread really made a difference for me. Thanks so much

[Appear]

More awake than I have done all day.

[Kevin Hodge]

listening to vashti bunyan helps me to identify the precise size, shape, volume and texture of the hole in my life : |

and no matter how sad it makes me, i still rejoice that i am not yet dead inside

[thaigreen]

Feel a little strange, like I can't get a full.breath and pretty anxious.

Busy day today.

[I Love My Cats]

Originally Posted by Pablo Huntsbach

^Sorry that things are still bad. Difficult working conditions can be a huge drain on your energy and happiness, I hope you find a way to work things out.

I'm feeling lonely and like a failure. I might have an early night but I still won't get up until 11 or 1 tomorrow if I do.

Thanks Pablo It all feels a bit too scary to even consider a solution right now. I think it would be easiest to move, but I'll have to accept that that can't happen overnight and that I'll have to find a way of putting up with the situation until I have something else lined up.

As for you being a failure - nonsense, Mister You are a fundamentally good person and you give good advice on here. This is where its a pain that people here are so far spread out across the country. There's nothing unlikeable about you and there are lots of people here who I'm sure would like to spend time in your company. Hope the early night helped

Originally Posted by AutumnLeaves

Ah yes, that makes sense. The CBT guy that I saw for a few weeks said that a lot of the people that go to him for CBT and other therapy are actually managers feeling really insecure and not feeling like they merit being the positions they're in. Think some of them can be quite arsey to make up for those feelings... And yes, I can identify with the prolonged crying.. tears landing on the keyboard as I tried to carry on using the 'CMM' machine whilst a bunch of guys got on with their work awkwardly around me. Apart from one really twisted guy, the rest never brought it up again. I think it takes guts to carry on like that and not just run away and stay away. And everyone just has to get on with it and forget about it. You're more experienced than me at the old work thing, but I do think that this rather mortifying experience for you will pass and be forgotten about. Sounds like a good idea to talk to your GP. Maybe just a short course of meds to get you through this particularly rough patch? Thanks :-) I still haven't written my essay, but I wrote to the student support people asking if my reason is good enough to ask for an extension, and if so, could they help me ask without telling the lecturer the specific reasons. And I sat my exam! Don't think the answers were that great but it feels like an achievement to have got through it and not run away. You and the other people who replied to my thread really made a difference for me. Thanks so much

Hey, you made it through the exam though, and that's massive! Especially after how you felt a few days ago! I think everyone has some amount of regret after an exam that they could have done something differently, or studied some areas a bit more. The truth is that its a lottery as to what will come up and you can only do so much. The fact you've made it this far is amazing As for the essay, it won't matter a jot how many extensions you had to ask for once you're finally over the finish line. Well done for doing what you had to do to find a way through this week. I hope you get there in the next few days. You deserve to get there after the difficult times you've had

I worry about going back on meds because I didn't feel that they did very much for me the first time, but I certainly knew about it when I stopped taking them, because my moods went pretty crazy for a few months (crazier than usual, I mean). I feel apprehensive about going down that road again for possibly limited benefits, but it's coming up to 3 years since I stopped taking them and things have got steadily worse, so I don't really see an alternative. As you say, maybe if I give them a bash for 3 months and see how it goes.... I hope my colleagues will forget about Friday, but its difficult to forget it myself, and I think that's the problem - you always think the worst, huh?

[Z.]

Pretty good. I've got a GP appointment for the first time this week relating to my mental health so I hope it goes well. I'm not sure what to say but I know this is what has to be done now.

[thaigreen]

^ thats good news buddy, hope it goes ok