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  #1  
Old 9th June 2005, 22:52
raydvd
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Default Tried job

Hi there,
i am a newbie here, but have surfed the net for years about SA and until yesterday got to a level where i could function a normal living ie. go shopping, visit friends and family and attend job inerviews etc.
But i got a job this week and started on Monday, was very anxious but got through the day ok, tuesday was the same and i thought wow this is my new start and ,im cured.
But.. on Wednesday , bam ! all my old anxieties came back and i had to leave half way through my shift( a care assistant at an old folks home).
I have been unemployed for 3 years where i worked as a hospital theatre auxillary, ( i had to leave through stress).
In those 3 years i have had 3 jobs and all these times i have had to leave them through social anxiety, these jobs were ..

steward car park attendant at the local castle (2 weeks)
shop assistant at PC World (1 day)...dont laugh ...lol
and Care Assistant (3days)
I am fine when i am in the house and as the months go by i think yeah i,m fine, but as soon as i get in a work situation i cant cope and i end up back unemployed.
its a vicious circle , the welfare state doesnt recognise tha SA is a disability, and this is why i keep trying for jobs as i had to come off incapacity allowance and go on job seekers allowance.
I am very down again and think why arent i better after all these years.

Does any one else feel the same as i do ? (Emote: confusedpurple)

  #2  
Old 10th June 2005, 19:33
amiza
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Default Re: Tried job

I can totally relate to you. The last job i had was in 2002 as a waitress in a casino. it was terrible..but then it was crazy for me to think in the first place that i could ever do that kind of job as it requires you to be very sociable. I left because i just couldnt get on with anyone, i never seemed to say the right things, i found it hard to talk to people and was constantly bullied. Im surprised i even stayed for 5 months.

Ive had about 20 jobs and the longest ive stayed in one is a year.

I know what you mean when you say u stay at home for months, think everything is ok, find employment and then bam. U realize things havent improved as much as u hoped they did.

Its a case of trying to run before you can walk. I decided that instead of going full time..start off with part time mayb 2 days a week in a job where i know i will be comfortable. while doing that continue to work on my self esteem and confidence.

Just keep trying and dont put to much pressure on yourself to find any old job. That way you can take one step at a time and feel less stressed.

So far this new attitude ive taken has been working. Good luck.
  #3  
Old 10th June 2005, 21:06
raydvd
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Default Re: Tried job

Hi amiza
many thanks for sharing ur experience with me, i feel a bit better knowing that i ,m not alone in this way.
I admire that you have stuck out some jobs that length of time as i struggle with a few days into them.

But you are right in saying i should walk before i run, i am going to take a few days to calm down and rethink what i am going to do jobwise.

Going tot the doctor in 2 weeks time and i will see what she can do to help me again.
take care and hopefully chat again with you.
raydvd

  #4  
Old 15th June 2005, 13:51
Maya_Ska
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Default Re: Tried job

Hi. I have simolar situation. I can not keep any job. I am from Poland and my English is not good yet and that make things worse..but if i would be open and sociable person my English would be very good now, becouse I live here about 2 years, but i do not have any contact with people ;( I found a job as Activity Worker in residential house what was terrible for me, becouse i was forced to make people happy, which are usually depressed and sick...(elderly).i tried to fight with my SA very much, but i could not....i was even scaried to say hello, to go there, to look..(becouse i knew that they do not like me and do not want to see me)i hided myself in the toilet and cried.it was really terible for me, cspecially becouese i kwew that these people are nice, that everything depend om me..that it is my foult..I warked there about 4 months and i could not any more....i said to my menager that i am very depressed and said about SA etc, he said: he is worry becouse he know people with mantal problems and they started like me........****! I warked also in cafe for a 4 months but it was also terrible experience.naw i am unemployed, very sad, becouse i can not have any benefits and i have to survive......so i HAVE TO find a job!i am alone.......i can not come back to my country...i do not know what is going to happen with me........
take care.
  #5  
Old 19th June 2005, 18:11
marc72
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Default Re: Tried job

you all have suffered alot. I myself suffered from work related anxiety. I have degree but I never worked in my field. I have been in and out of jobs sometimes. I would not show up or I would walk out the job. As a result I am in debt.
I now work part time as a stock person at a retail store. Not much money and I do not tell people where I work cause I am too embarrased. Making little money prevents me from enjoying life more. I want to hang out more but I need money . I relate to you all here and I am glad You all have posted about your experiences.
I would suggest to people to please do not give up. Start slow or keep fighting this. We have no choice.
  #6  
Old 19th June 2005, 18:14
marc72
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Default Re: Tried job

I feel really bad for you. I hope you do not give up. Where are you from? I am from New York in the United States. I can relate to people having promblems with anxiety from work.

Have you tried security guard at a quiet place? maybe?
your story really touched me. I almost cried. i hope you get some type of work. You deserve better in life.
  #7  
Old 20th June 2005, 00:14
raydvd
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Default Re: Tried job

Hi marc
many thanks for your kind words and they have given me a bit of hope.
As we all know SA is a lonely life and it helps when you hear of others like ourselves.
I have worked most of my life and its only the past few years where i cant even work now.
I did have a limited social life but even that has dwindled, but this doesnt bother me as much as not being able to earn money.
But i am feeling a bit better than last week, (seeing the doc on thurs)
I am from Scotland.
  #8  
Old 22nd June 2005, 03:35
marc72
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Default Re: Tried job

all we can do is just fight. Just keep fighting. They more we give up the more you can easily sink into depression.
i am researching areers at home or looking at non-traditional jobs besides the regualr traditional jobs most people do.

  #9  
Old 22nd June 2005, 20:31
amiza
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Default Re: Tried job

hi everyone hope things are getting better for u all. I have an interview with the jobcentre 2morow and am really nervous.
The betablockers will then have some use for me.

raydvd..any luck on the job front?

maya ska..dont liten to ur manager..go to ur nearset gp and ask for help and there must be some sort of benefits out there for you, i not saying you should rely on the benefits but it can help until you get back on your feet.

take care amiza
  #10  
Old 23rd June 2005, 01:14
raydvd
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Default Re: Tried job

Hi all
Hope it goes well for you Amiza, and the bb should work for you.
Havent been looking for work as i,m still trying to get the ship steadied again(going to docs tomorrow)
I think part time is the way forward and build my confidence somehow
  #11  
Old 26th June 2005, 04:09
virgin40
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Default Re: Tried job

Hello Ray,
Having got SA under some control over a long time, my advice is takes things very easy regards increasing responcibility and social interactivity. Going from from being umemployed to a highly social job like you did was probably too much.

This is going to sound horrible but you probably postponed lots of issues about yourself as a person while you have been off work. Its a classic sign of avoidance to stop work, you think your misery is better because you don't have to face anyone.


Yet, its worth remembering just how hard most people find starting a new job! especially something as intensily interpersonal as the work you do! Maybe if you can get some one-on-one work it may be better, something to build on, I've known people get jobs as carer it can be mutually enabling.
Best Wishes!
  #12  
Old 27th June 2005, 00:40
raydvd
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Default Re: Tried job

Thanks Mate !
I think what you say is true, time seems to make me forgetful of my sa and i start to think that i,m ok again,

Its only when i get in unfamiliar company that it all rushes back.

Even now i think ' well i wasnt that bad' but i wrote down how i felt and its amazing how many different emotions i felt in the time.

Went to docs and she really its just a wait and see what happens.

i feel ok but thats cos i,m back in my routine, but i dont want to be in this situation in ten years time.

Does any one have any thoughts on working from home ?

many thanks !
  #13  
Old 3rd July 2005, 21:34
Intro Guy
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Default Re: Tried job

Yes, I can definitely relate to this. I've had several jobs and couldn't cope with any of them due to SA.
I've been on incapacity benefit for a long time now and I don't know what I'll do if they decide to stop it.

I left one job after just one day, and the longest I have kept one was one year, and I suffered terrible depression and anxiety, so you're definitely not alone raydvd.
I used to be terrified of going into work, and one day I didn't turn up at all and I got told off from a boss who said, "You need to come out of your shell."

Don't you just love advice like that!
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