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View Poll Results: How is your SA?
Getting worse 88 16.21%
Still the same 105 19.34%
Making slow progress 258 47.51%
Making big progress 72 13.26%
Pretty much cured/ completly cured 20 3.68%
Voters: 543. You may not vote on this poll

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  #91  
Old 19th August 2010, 22:46
Cromulent Cromulent is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

Frankly I'm not quite sure where I am.

When I was younger (late teens, early twenties) I felt I had a good social life. Went out twice a week with a decent group of friends and enjoyed myself, but after hitting 23 everything has pretty much gone to pot.

I rarely go out at all and I'm completely unsure what to do. I don't trust my doctor (or rather I should say I don't trust anyone but the healthcare profession especially).

Anyway sorry for bringing the mood down . I'm just lost, I need to improve but I have no idea what to do and how to go about it.
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  #92  
Old 29th August 2010, 00:20
Celine Celine is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mayo1
I think it is normal to slide backwards in this situation so don't beat yourself up over it! Try and keep working on yourself as best you can and soon I am sure you will start progressing again
Good advice
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  #93  
Old 29th August 2010, 00:22
Celine Celine is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

You will never regret any effort you put into cbt exercises. You eventually get more out of them than you put into them
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  #94  
Old 29th August 2010, 21:03
smash martian smash martian is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

dunno bout cbt tbh-mite help some folks, but not for me-went for it meself bout 13 years ago dunno if its changed any. spent half hour once a week with therapist, he got me to write diary etc and filmed me having social chat with couple of women who worked there, then we watched it back he says-'look basically theres nothing wrong with u, bit nervous to start with but can interact really well', and yeah didnt come across too bad, think he was maybe trying to show me i had nothing to worry bout. but thing was, i knew it was set up situ so cud wing it for 20 minutes. bit like going for interview or something etc, u just endure it knowing its not gonna last long. thing with these sort of step programs i got at cbt is u cant build up to things like dates in stages, its not like a snake phobia or summat lol! where u can look at pictures, see one behind a glass, put hand in and gradually work up to holding one!! so, soooo help it works for some folks but its not for me. whats this TEA thing tho? quite interested in that but dont know much bout it?
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  #95  
Old 2nd September 2010, 17:43
Blumoon Blumoon is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

I think i am making progress now really. I have had help, i feel i am most social i'ev ever been, able to be social(er) now than ever before, since leaving school.
]I think it's just depression and low self esteem/confidence/neg thoughts that is holding me back really. But yes i hate to say this because i dunno, but yes i have improved, but it's still not up to scratch, i still don't have the life i want, and i'm still not the same as others my age, isolated, and can't relate to many people in the real world. (yes i sound like a ..geek) meh.
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  #96  
Old 3rd September 2010, 17:43
herb herb is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

Quote:
Originally Posted by smash martian
dunno bout cbt tbh-mite help some folks, but not for me-went for it meself bout 13 years ago dunno if its changed any. spent half hour once a week with therapist, he got me to write diary etc and filmed me having social chat with couple of women who worked there, then we watched it back he says-'look basically theres nothing wrong with u, bit nervous to start with but can interact really well', and yeah didnt come across too bad, think he was maybe trying to show me i had nothing to worry bout. but thing was, i knew it was set up situ so cud wing it for 20 minutes. bit like going for interview or something etc, u just endure it knowing its not gonna last long. thing with these sort of step programs i got at cbt is u cant build up to things like dates in stages, its not like a snake phobia or summat lol! where u can look at pictures, see one behind a glass, put hand in and gradually work up to holding one!! so, soooo help it works for some folks but its not for me. whats this TEA thing tho? quite interested in that but dont know much bout it?
I don't think cbt would have helped me at all without the TEA forms and that's why I still use them fairly regularly to stay on top of any anxiety that pops up. Don't know if they were around 13 years ago or not as I was completely unaware of cbt at that time.
The TEA forms are a thought countering exercise that if done over time actually teaches your brain new ways to react in ways that keep the anxiety from coming up in you. It's weird how a few months into doing them I would find myself in a situation that normally threw me out of whack, but now did not feel anxious and it was a weird but good feeling. Needless to say over time this started to happen to me more and more often and now I feel great and 1000 times less anxious in my daily life.
I'd definitely give them a try if you are motivated to do so. They take a commitment but the rewards are well worth the effort in the end. The book we used by sam obitz (www.tao3.com) outlines them nicely and is a short simple book.
Good luck and I hope they are a help to you too
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  #97  
Old 25th October 2010, 20:03
Celine Celine is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

Quote:
Originally Posted by herb
I don't think cbt would have helped me at all without the TEA forms and that's why I still use them fairly regularly to stay on top of any anxiety that pops up. Don't know if they were around 13 years ago or not as I was completely unaware of cbt at that time.
The TEA forms are a thought countering exercise that if done over time actually teaches your brain new ways to react in ways that keep the anxiety from coming up in you. It's weird how a few months into doing them I would find myself in a situation that normally threw me out of whack, but now did not feel anxious and it was a weird but good feeling. Needless to say over time this started to happen to me more and more often and now I feel great and 1000 times less anxious in my daily life.
I'd definitely give them a try if you are motivated to do so. They take a commitment but the rewards are well worth the effort in the end. The book we used by sam obitz (www.tao3.com) outlines them nicely and is a short simple book.
Good luck and I hope they are a help to you too
Very well said. I was about to respond to smash martian until I read your response
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  #98  
Old 28th October 2010, 12:37
Stanley Rainbird Stanley Rainbird is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

In a awful place. Somewhere between being too afraid to continue and challenge my fears and being too stubborn to give in and call it a day.
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  #99  
Old 8th November 2010, 23:09
mayo1 mayo1 is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Celine
Very well said. I was about to respond to smash martian until I read your response
Quote:
Originally Posted by herb
I don't think cbt would have helped me at all without the TEA forms and that's why I still use them fairly regularly to stay on top of any anxiety that pops up. Don't know if they were around 13 years ago or not as I was completely unaware of cbt at that time.
The TEA forms are a thought countering exercise that if done over time actually teaches your brain new ways to react in ways that keep the anxiety from coming up in you. It's weird how a few months into doing them I would find myself in a situation that normally threw me out of whack, but now did not feel anxious and it was a weird but good feeling. Needless to say over time this started to happen to me more and more often and now I feel great and 1000 times less anxious in my daily life.
I'd definitely give them a try if you are motivated to do so. They take a commitment but the rewards are well worth the effort in the end. The book we used by sam obitz (www.tao3.com) outlines them nicely and is a short simple book.
Good luck and I hope they are a help to you too
I have to agree. I am amazed how far I have come and continue to grow. I still use the TEA forms several times a week just to keep reinforcing them and they are a part of me now.
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  #100  
Old 24th January 2011, 03:34
Celine Celine is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

That's outstanding mayo1. Keep at it and I'm confident you will continue to make even further strides
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  #101  
Old 22nd February 2011, 20:09
mrwindupbird mrwindupbird is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

im just starting out.
i cant believe its taken me so long to get to this stage.
have ordered overcoming social anxiety and shyness book from amazon. need to change dr's so i can hopefully get referred for some CBT sessions. im feeling really confident but slightly scared about it at the moment. its going to be hard work but if i dont do it i never will.
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  #102  
Old 22nd February 2011, 20:38
wjfox wjfox is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

In some ways, I'm making big progress - like being in public, for example. I now feel pretty relaxed about going into a shop and talking to the staff, whereas a few years back, I was very nervous indeed.

But in other situations/environments, I haven't changed much. This is most noticeable in the office, where I'm very quiet. Also dating and talking to women is still a major challenge for me.
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  #103  
Old 22nd February 2011, 22:55
Rosiemoore Rosiemoore is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

Quote:
Originally Posted by wjfox
In some ways, I'm making big progress - like being in public, for example. I now feel pretty relaxed about going into a shop and talking to the staff, whereas a few years back, I was very nervous indeed.

But in other situations/environments, I haven't changed much. This is most noticeable in the office, where I'm very quiet. Also dating and talking to women is still a major challenge for me.
You sound like me! I'm fine most of the time these days, but more nervous at work, especially because I've just changed my job. I'm volunteering in a junior school, which is great because helping the kids is giving me a real insight into my own childhood issues, but the teaching staff make me so nervous!! Especially the Deputy Head, she's a big bubbly woman who's very nice but I feel scared of her, I think bcos of her role, her superiority. I thin I'm afraid of making a mistake, but I need to remember that she is only human too and she could also make mistakes...
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  #104  
Old 23rd February 2011, 01:11
wez wez is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

still the same :/ i feel like i get a bit better then i can get a bit worse, getting knowhwere really
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  #105  
Old 23rd February 2011, 12:18
bluesman bluesman is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

It's a big and difficult leap from feeling the need to getting better to actually wanting & making the effort to getting better - in my case this has taken me several months after many years of SA. I hope I took that 1st step last night when I met up with my eldest son & his girlfriend - the 1st time I'd met up with them both for over a year & the 1st time I had been out of an evening in some 8 months on my own volition (other 2 times I was specifically asked to go to gigs). The meeting went well once I'd stopped apologising It was only a small step & I feel ok about it &, I hope, one in the right direction - there's a gig on tomorrow nite but will I go ? I'm thinking about it. I would say to anyone that one little step, no matter how small,is worth the taking but don't prejudge or set high expectations, just roll with it as I did last night.
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  #106  
Old 24th February 2011, 08:38
cavedin cavedin is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

I was making slow progress but then starting from October last year I wasn't doing as much and ended up feeling scared of a few things again, so it felt like I was going backwards. But I recently joined an art class so trying to get back to making some progress.
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  #107  
Old 25th February 2011, 15:50
Sphinx Sphinx is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

Feeling more positive at the moment, feel like I have the knowledge I need to get better. Now I just need to find more situations that will force me out of my comfort zone..

Only thing you can do is keep trying, no matter how many times you fail
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  #108  
Old 1st March 2011, 10:38
nessa456 nessa456 is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

I have been a lot better since I started taking my anti-depressants every day.

I'm on the lowest dose and had been trying to take as little as possible by only taking one when I felt withdrawal symptoms but this was making me feel ill so I started taking them properly and I've been a lot better - far less negative ruminating, more motivation and I felt calmer and much more in control when I had to go into town last week.

I don't aim at recovery, just being able to get things done. I think I'll always be an anxious person but that sometimes I will be able to cope ok and sometimes not.

I don't aim to be able to socialise in groups as I have accepted this isn't my forte.

I don't try to live my life according to the examples given in the media; I plough my own furrow as this suits me best.
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  #109  
Old 17th March 2011, 03:11
Celine Celine is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

Every step forward gets you closer
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  #110  
Old 28th May 2011, 21:14
herb herb is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

The poll numbers sadden me a bit as I would expect more people would have dedicated themselves to CBT and found the relief and enjoyment in life that I have been enjoying. All I can say is that if you have not tried CBT and the TEA form exercise try dedicating yourself to them for three months and I think you will be as amazed at the results as I was and still am
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  #111  
Old 28th May 2011, 21:58
mrsbjovi mrsbjovi is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

Ive been on meds for about 3mnths now, and feel in abit of a SA rut.
I dont think im improving, as it only masks the real prob...
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  #112  
Old 29th May 2011, 01:55
StephenM StephenM is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

As for progress I find it difficult to put a definitive answer to it as it seems that all my progress is able to collapse at any given time with any situation that may throw me of my course of track lol. I just try and tell my myself that the way I am and my past does not define me as a never changing personality. That I am in more control that what I previously thought to be. That with focus and determination even the hardest struggles can be overcome! :D
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  #113  
Old 29th May 2011, 02:10
Duke of Prunes Duke of Prunes is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

My SA hasn't changed in the last year in any way. If anything I'm worse overall (with mood etc).
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  #114  
Old 29th May 2011, 02:35
ßazza ßazza is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

Quote:
Originally Posted by StephenM
As for progress I find it difficult to put a definitive answer to it as it seems that all my progress is able to collapse at any given time with any situation that may throw me of my course of track lol. I just try and tell my myself that the way I am and my past does not define me as a never changing personality. That I am in more control that what I previously thought to be. That with focus and determination even the hardest struggles can be overcome! :D
I like your attitude. (ever instead of never though haha. But yes.)

I agree. Try to live by similar ideas.
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  #115  
Old 2nd June 2011, 00:08
herb herb is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrsbjovi
Ive been on meds for about 3mnths now, and feel in abit of a SA rut.
I dont think im improving, as it only masks the real prob...
Meds always masked my problems but helped a bit and beat the alternative at the time. I was able to find relief using the CBT exercise called the TEA form and highly recommend you (and others) give CBT a try.
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  #116  
Old 2nd June 2011, 00:26
chell chell is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

Quote:
Originally Posted by In The Moment
Very slow progress. I can now go to coffee shops, shopping centres and make more eye contact, but I am sometimes unable to control my heart rate.
Hi,

I just want to say that i appreciate that we are all wired differently, but i can associate with what you say. Have you ever thought of using a beta blocker for your heart rate. I have been using a tab for the past month or so when i am about to feel heart palpitations and it has helped tremendously. The thing i like most about it is that it doesn't affect my mood at all, just slows the heart down. Maybe you could ask your doctor for advice on that i you are interested.
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  #117  
Old 3rd June 2011, 19:38
herb herb is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

StephenM,
Somehow missed your post last time here and just wanted to agree with what Bazza already said.... You have a great attitude and I'm sure you will continue to make progress because of it
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  #118  
Old 6th June 2011, 18:16
mayo1 mayo1 is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

Quote:
Originally Posted by herb
Meds always masked my problems but helped a bit and beat the alternative at the time. I was able to find relief using the CBT exercise called the TEA form and highly recommend you (and others) give CBT a try.
Really good advice Herb. CBT and the TEA forms really do work wonders if you work on them regularly.
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  #119  
Old 12th August 2011, 03:09
Celine Celine is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mayo1
Really good advice Herb. CBT and the TEA forms really do work wonders if you work on them regularly.
Count me as another proponent of the TEA forms
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  #120  
Old 17th August 2011, 00:09
Existentially_impaired Existentially_impaired is offline
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Default Re: Where are you in your recovery?

I'm doing pretty well, I think.

Five years ago I was too scared to answer the phone or the door and now I can even make small talk with strangers, sometimes. I'm much more open and comfortable around people and feel like I have to hide a lot less of myself.

It has taken me a long time to get to this point though, a lot of hard work. But often these days I can actually just talk, rather than mentally planning and/or vetting everything I want to say.

I still have a way to go though. I would recommend to anybody that hasn't that you do get professional help. No kind of therapy or therapist is going to have a magic wand, but learning to open up to somebody - anybody - is a desirable life skill. And that kind of mode you learn where you can just talk and know that you won't be judged is what you are ultimately looking for in normal life, I'd have thought.
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