Being alone and enjoying it

[choirgirl]

At the weekend I was home alone for over 24 hours, I didn't have to speak to anyone in real life except on the phone, didn't really go anywhere, didn't have to go to work, and it was AMAZING. It felt like a cool dip on a hot day, a good night's sleep after sleeping badly for ages, a day off when you've not had a day off for ages, you get the picture. I almost felt like a different person and so relaxed and well.

Does anyone else relate to this? Do you feel like you can only truly relax and be yourself when you're on your own? I'm sure the effect would wear off over time and I'd actually WANT to interact face to face with people. Are some of us just not people people? I feel like I need to knock off from socialising every day.

If I had been able to live on my own when first I wanted to, would I be a different person? Or would I just be a hermit with very low people tolerance by now?! I'm sure I'd have been happier, but then interacting with people may have got harder over time and thus I would be even more anxious by now.

It's sad, because let's say I spend time with a friend, and I can more or less leave whenever I want. The best I feel is a bit upbeat, like I've had a bit of coffee or a nip of whisky. I feel energised, not relaxed.

[humphrey]

Yes, I find that sometimes I find it so refreshing. No one to mind your p's & q's for. I don't think I would like it all the time but is nice every now and again.

[Dougella]

Yes, I need a lot of time by myself. It's not because I don't like other people necessarily I just can't relax properly unless I'm on my own.

[kirbycrackle]

^ same here

[Toxic]

After spending a week with idiots (certain staff members) and dealing with other idiots (customers)...I thoroughly enjoy a day of no one.

I think it would get old pretty fast if I had no human interaction throughout the week but as it stands, I defo need it!

[Mr. Nobody]

Originally Posted by Dougella

Yes, I need a lot of time by myself. It's not because I don't like other people necessarily I just can't relax properly unless I'm on my own.

me too but i dont feel at ease about this fact
it just seems misguided possibly narcissistic of me to be so
and ultimately, damaging to my chances of recovery
i feel like im enabling negative self-isolating traits

[Dougella]

I suppose it depends on how you feel about it. Personally I don't think there's anything narcissistic about it for me, I'm just particularly introverted. Also it doesn't mean I don't communicate with people and i enjoy that, I don't shut myself off from people completely.

[choirgirl]

Ha yes! I'm hoping I will if I'm left alone for long enough. But that doesn't usually happen. I start feeling like I'm so relaxed, why would I want to do anything and have bad feelings?

[AireleeBray]

I have been craving more alone time.

[Raven.]

I really enjoy my time away from people. I finish work on Friday afternoon and I don't see anyone until Monday morning. My working day involves a high degree of interaction, so I need a complete break from it every weekend.
Not sure if it's good for me in the long term, though.

[mrjynx]

ive been isolated for 16 years. that means no interaction with anyone except for appointments with jc and doc and therapist.

you will find you need other human beings in order to feel like you exist.
otherwise there isn't any point in all the rest of it.

maybe what you are experiencing is the joy of not having to be around people you don't particularly like.

[Franz of Franzylvania]

Originally Posted by choirgirl

It felt like a cool dip on a hot day, a good night's sleep after sleeping badly for ages, a day off when you've not had a day off for ages, you get the picture. I almost felt like a different person and so relaxed and well.

Does anyone else relate to this? Do you feel like you can only truly relax and be yourself when you're on your own? [...]

It's sad, because let's say I spend time with a friend, and I can more or less leave whenever I want. The best I feel is a bit upbeat, like I've had a bit of coffee or a nip of whisky. I feel energised, not relaxed.

I can relate with a lot of this thread, but especially the above. I've been wondering recently why there isn't a common word for the opposite of loneliness, like a longing to be alone (there might well be but I couldn't think of one off the top of my head). I definitely feel that a lot, which isn't to say i'd want to be on my own 24/7 or I never feel lonely also or I don't enjoy any social interaction at all. But if I go too long without having quality time alone I just get numb and absent and exhausted.

[Raven.]

Originally Posted by kafkafan

I've been wondering recently why there isn't a common word for the opposite of loneliness, like a longing to be alone (there might well be but I couldn't think of one off the top of my head).

I like the word 'solitude' as, for me, it implies something that I am consciously and willingly involved with. It is a state of being that has positive connotations as opposed to 'loneliness' which is usually perceived as being something negative.

[Chess&Junkfood]

I love spending time with myself! I guess the reason for that is because I don***8217;t have to impress myself that much. But maybe that***8217;s because I***8217;ve been taking myself for granted. Not once do I recall buying myself a really impressive gift after I***8217;ve put out for myself. And to think of all those times I tried spicing things up for myself! Sure, the chicken costume was fun to wear but......

On second thoughts, maybe it***8217;s time I started socialising more.

[anxiouslondoner]

Sometimes I need to be alone, sometimes I need to be with other people. Sometimes I can't stand either.
I am alone far too much for my liking and sanity though. Or with people but effectively alone, isolated in a crowd.

[Sphinx]

I really enjoy being alone, I think it's a positive trait to not need people constantly. I think you can definitely have too much of a good thing though, before you know it you haven't been anywhere or spoken to anyone for days.

[Daniel1984]

I spend so much time alone that my recent referral to counselling is just making me sad. I find myself missing the person for several days after, she acts kind and caring which is completely alien to me. I do not like this feeling one bit. Which is another reason i probably isolate myself so much, the feeling of losing someone you like hurts too much, id rather just not get close to anyone.

[snoo]

I guess the answer differs due to people's circumstances.

I have experienced both sides of the spectrum. Used to live in a house share where there were constantly people around, the tenants partners came around incredibly regularly so a time where I was in the house by myself was something excellent. Overall, it was horrible.

More recently I lived on my own and could go many days without speaking to anyone. That too, was horrible.

IMO Craving alone time isn't particularly any symptom of social anxiety, I know of social people who say that. But at the same time I feel I may be guilty of trying to think this to stay in the comfort zone. If i genuinely didn't feel that lack of interactions were a problem I wouldn't be on the forums.

My gut feeling is isn't necessarily people that is a problem, rather the type of people and I just haven't found the right ones.

[Franz of Franzylvania]

Originally Posted by Raven.

I like the word 'solitude' as, for me, it implies something that I am consciously and willingly involved with. It is a state of being that has positive connotations as opposed to 'loneliness' which is usually perceived as being something negative.

Yes that's true, I like solitude (both the word and the thing.)

[chocolatechip]

Yes and no. I like spending time with people i know and who know that i like my space. Otherwise no.

[Utopia]

I know what you mean as I have always been fine on my own and actually prefer it. I think some people are naturally more introverted. People don't fully accept or understand it but its just the way I am.