How is everyone feeling? (30)

[MLP James]

I'm incredibly lethargic and lonely and sad. I wish my hands weren't so cold.

[Dougella]

^^^

[Custard_cream]

Glad to get the assessment out of the way. Feeling a bit confused and very awkward at the moment.

[Northern Natterer]

Originally Posted by Custard_cream

Glad to get the assessment out of the way. Feeling a bit confused and very awkward at the moment.

you went and that is the main thing when you were feeling anxious. One step at a time.

[Z.]

Originally Posted by Custard_cream

Glad to get the assessment out of the way. Feeling a bit confused and very awkward at the moment.

Well done CC. Hope it went well

[Mo34]

Well done for getting through it.

[Custard_cream]

Originally Posted by Luna.

^ hope it went ok CC, well done for going!

Originally Posted by Northern Natterer

you went and that is the main thing when you were feeling anxious. One step at a time.

Originally Posted by Kley

Well done CC. Hope it went well

Originally Posted by Mo34

Well done for getting through it.

Thanks everyone.

[Finlay]

For a few weeks there I was actually doing quite good. I don't know exactly what it was - my regular meditation, home work-outs, kicking some bad habits, or maybe a combo of them all - but I was managing to cope quite well with life. I'd started a new job which normally would be a major stress for me, but I seemed to be taking it all on my shoulders and not only dealing with it, but actually feeling quite positive about the job, and life in general.

But I think I got complacent. I started half-assing my meditations. I was missing work-outs. I was indulging in some bad habits (nothing terrible - just stuff like binge eating sugary foods) because I felt "Hey, I've got over them, so I can allow myself a treat!", but because I did it once it gave my mind the okay to do it again....and again......and again. As a result the negative, overwhelmed-by-life mindset has slowly crept back up on me, without me noticing, until it's too late - a bit like not noticing the tide slowly creeping in until all of a sudden you're surrounded by water. I'm now dreading going back to work, dreading speaking to people, and feeling generally like everything bar sitting in my pajamas, staring at my laptop, is a complete chore.

However, the one good thing is at least I know I've got out of it before, so I just need to knuckle down and power through it again. Still sucks though! It sounds cliche but it does seem like it's something I need to keep on top of every day, and whenever I feel the negativity starting to seep in I need to nip it in the bud, otherwise it spreads quickly. Like weeds! Or something else that spreads quickly.....butter? No, wait....that doesn't work. Well, you get the general idea!

[Custard_cream]

Rubbishy, getting those annoying thoughts about how bad the assessment went, how weird and awkward I am, repeating things in my mind that I have said.

[Silent Ninja]

Originally Posted by Custard_cream

Rubbishy, getting those annoying thoughts about how bad the assessment went, how weird and awkward I am, repeating things in my mind that I have said.

You're over thinking, I'm not aware of how these things go myself but I don't think it can go "badly" it's a system to hopefully offer you help.

[Custard_cream]

Originally Posted by Troy

You're over thinking, I'm not aware of how these things go myself but I don't think it can go "badly" it's a system to hopefully offer you help.

Thanks Troy. I don't know, I suppose the therapist confirmed what my doctor has said about SA and depression. I just get thoughts after speaking to people about how bad things I said were or how bad or weird I have come across, how I could barely look at the person. I've been offered help, but not sure how this all works really or the type of help and how long it will take.

[Caribou]

Originally Posted by Azalea

Gogglebox is back that day so at least you've got something to look forward to afterwards.

Thanks hun, I love Gogglebox

Originally Posted by Custard_cream

Glad to get the assessment out of the way. Feeling a bit confused and very awkward at the moment.

Well done

[Silent Ninja]

Custard Cream

What you'll have to try and do is change your thought process for this and concentrate on the fact that this is something that should help you and the people you are meeting aren't trying to judge they're there to give support and aid (is aid the right word here?).

[Custard_cream]

Originally Posted by Within These Walls

Well done

Thank you. I hope you are OK Within These Walls.

Originally Posted by Troy

Custard Cream

What you'll have to try and do is change your thought process for this and concentrate on the fact that this is something that should help you and the people you are meeting aren't trying to judge they're there to give support and aid (is aid the right word here?).

Thanks Troy. That's helpful, you are right, I do need to change my way of thinking, it's so difficult though to stop these thoughts. Hopefully it will get easier, the therapist did seem really nice, but I just felt so aware of how anxious I felt and still do now.

[Pandapop]

Totes excited to see what tonight's adventure is

[Sunshine Recorder]

My wrist is hurting from my attempt to upgrade my laptop hard drive (trying to force it in, when I just needed to pry up a bit of plastic ). Not good, as my job requires a lot of wrist action.

[likeme]

I feel a bit like I might be falling apart.

[smog]

In a fit of rage that I go away for two days, come back, and stuff is missing from my room. Sister taking stuff that doesn't belong to her back to uni

[Concept]

Meloncholy. The person I fell in love with and moved on from is pulling at my heart strings again.

They're not free or interested. I need to learn to compartmentalise better.

[Sunshine Recorder]

Meh, a little gloomy at the moment.

[Fantastical]

Lonely, stressed and very tired. Want a proper long hug and to curl up on the sofa. Not a long gym work out =(

[anxiouslondoner]

Just utterly without purpose. Another weekend I have no plans for, no ambition to do anything. What would be the point? I'm incapable of enjoyment. Why does anyone do anything?

[Sunshine Recorder]

^ I know exactly how you feel.

[Appear]

^^/^^^

I'm feeling similarly too. I've had the day off today and haven't really done anything but force myself to read a book I'm not particularly enjoying (or understanding) and moan to anyone/thing that'll listen. I think my sofa's fed up of me.

Hope things improve for you both.

[Indigo_]

I'm feeling okay. It's been a long day and I've been counting down the hours, my voice was pretty much going by the end of it. Slight wobble along the way but I think I'm alright

[Caribou]

Originally Posted by Custard_cream

I hope you are OK Within These Walls.

Thanks hun

[Caribou]

Originally Posted by Mo34

Friday the 13th, your not kidding.
Just had an exam/assessment for my course, got soaked going there but made it and did it (its still a struggle to leave the house). Waited ages for a bus back home, started to feel utter depression and aloneness and mild panic, but forced myself round a smallish supermarket as a distraction and started to feel better.
Caught the bus and was relieved to be going home or so I thought. Empty rural route (takes over an hour to get to my home town/village) and the bus driver decided to forget I was on the bus so didn't bother going my way (the terminus of route at that hour) and instead head for Worthing (the bus depot but not on the route). I was struggling to see where I was because it was dark (and rural), torrential rain and muddy windows that you can't see through but I (stupidly) expected him to follow the given route. I was already feeling anxious and suspicious that something was wrong & was suddenly confronted with a sign saying 'Welcome to Worthing'.
I'm quite proud I got up and challenged him, he tried to blame me by saying I only continue on the route if there is a passenger on the bus. (what the f**k am I then?!! scotch mist?!) I said to him I could not see where I was because of weather/darkness which was true; but tbh I fail to see how the responsibility is mine. I paid a fare to a given destination (over £8 to go any where here, so its not pennies) should you not expect that the bus driver actually go there regardless?
He turned round and took me back. How can a 90min exam at 1.30pm take from 11am - 7pm. It's utterly ridiculous.

Sorry for the rant, but I just feel the need to offload somewhere.
It probably is my fault for not pulling him up sooner but I genuinely couldn't see where I was and I really did expect him to follow the route

That sounds horrible and very anxiety-inducing. Can't believe the bus driver tried to blame you Hope you're OK

[Mo34]

Originally Posted by Within These Walls

That sounds horrible and very anxiety-inducing. Can't believe the bus driver tried to blame you Hope you're OK

Thanks I'm ok.
I think he was embarrassed (probably) as he obviously hadn't gone where he was supposed to and had no real excuse. I guess they get used to no one being on certain parts of the route at certain times & just don't bother.

I'm just glad to be home tbh.

[ithinkiamlost]

@Mo34
That definitely wasn't your fault. I'm guessing he must of forgotten where you were going but instead of owning up he tried to blame you.

At least you stood up for yourself. That couldn't have been easy.

[Sunshine Recorder]

A little sad, and feeling like I haven't really lived.