Self hatred

Mr Ploppy · #1 9th October 2010, 20:43

Is it possible to get over self hatred when society hates you ?

karl-32 · #2 9th October 2010, 21:50

Society might not hate you . Not trying to be patronising but maybe you just think they do?

i hate myself but iv every right to. i'm a bad person

Ajax Amsterdam · #3 10th October 2010, 00:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dragnet

Is it possible to get over self hatred when society hates you ?

I don't see how society can really hate any individual. Society doesn't know us. Society does not share one collective opinion either. As far as I can see, very few people know us enough to even form an opinion of us. 99.9% of society don't even know we exist, let alone know us enough to hate us.

Jop · #4 10th October 2010, 00:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luco

I use to think like this.

What i've learned is i hate myself more than society does. Learning to like myself seems to be the goal for me. The more you learn to love yourself, the more you will see how crazy society is

Whether a society hates you or not is not something a single person, but only God could know.

Warmer · #5 10th October 2010, 01:09

What do you or anyone else have to gain by hating yourself though?

karl-32 · #6 10th October 2010, 01:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warmer

What do you or anyone else have to gain by hating yourself though?

Nothing. We dont do it on purpose. its like a natural thing . Nothing to gain . Only lose really

Neil · #7 10th October 2010, 02:14

I agree partly with Luco partly with Karl 31. It may be that you have formed a negative picture of yourself based on your interpretation of how others view or think of you. But whether other people like you or not doesn't address the core issue of self hatred. Self esteem does not depend on seeking validation from others. It is learning to like yourself independently of other people's opinions. It is also difficult to be universally hated by everyone. Some people will like you, some wont. Also people's opinions are fickle and can change from one moment to the next. You see the problems of basing your self-esteem on anything external to yourself? It is contradictory!

Warmer · #8 10th October 2010, 15:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neil

Self esteem does not depend on seeking validation from others. It is learning to like yourself independently of other people's opinions.

What if your an incompetent person. Should you still give yourself validation and pride? You can have too much self confidence and pride sometimes, so whats the right balance.

Even if you are incompetent though I don't see that as grounds for self hate personally. Everyone has limitations, so I guess its about accepting them without letting it get to you.

Craig75 · #9 10th October 2010, 15:47

I don't hate me, I just don't like me very much anymore. 35 years is a long time stuck with me.

yuffie · #10 10th October 2010, 15:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Craig75

I don't hate me, I just don't like me very much anymore. 35 years is a long time stuck with me.

Try 41. I know what you mean i'm am sick of myself and need a holiday from"me"

. I don't even recognise my own reflection when i'm unfortunate enough to actually see "it"

Craig75 · #11 10th October 2010, 15:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by yuffie

Try 41. I know what you mean i'm am sick of myself and need a holiday from"me"

. I don't even recognise my own reflection when i'm unfortunate enough to actually see "it"

ain't we a sad pair?

MichaelAlone · #12 10th October 2010, 16:03

LOl, the amount of times i've spent staring in the mirror to insure i look 'normal' before stepping outside are uncountable.

I think the majority of us here hate ourselves - always one step away from suicide but too cowardly even for that.

yuffie · #13 10th October 2010, 16:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by Craig75

ain't we a sad pair?

Yes, yes we are

yuffie · #14 10th October 2010, 16:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by MichaelAlone

.

I think the majority of us here hate ourselves - always one step away from suicide but too cowardly even for that.

Yep, and feeling like a coward is just more ammo I have against me and around we go again weeeeeee.

tiptop · #15 10th October 2010, 22:28

I think it's hard to get over self hatred - I think you first need acceptance from other people before you can like yourself to some degree. It's hard to like yourself when everybody else always seems so much popular and accepted than yourself.
I also find that even if I do managed to barely accept myself, somebody will give ,me a filthy look or blank me and it all gets wiped out.

Blumoon · #16 10th October 2010, 23:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiptop

I think it's hard to get over self hatred - I think you first need acceptance from other people before you can like yourself to some degree.

I also think this, and i can't have any of that, so i stay the way i am.

hardy · #17 11th October 2010, 16:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warmer

What if your an incompetent person. Should you still give yourself validation and pride? You can have too much self confidence and pride sometimes, so whats the right balance.

Even if you are incompetent though I don't see that as grounds for self hate personally. Everyone has limitations, so I guess its about accepting them without letting it get to you.

Exactly. the only reason anyone might be criticised is if theyre not trying as hard as they can. failure or lack of ability should not be critcised or "hated" as youre not deliberately doing it. Self critism is intended to "boot you into action" . Ironically it has the opposite affect of paralysing you because obviously its not worth a "stupid" person even trying!