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#61
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I do sometimes get the feeling this place is a bit cliquey, but I could be wrong |
#62
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There's no shame here Severian, we all have negative thoughts swirling around and battle with them in different ways.
Making your thoughts more real might be useful in some ways, you'd be better positioned to challenge them if you know exactly what they are. Volunteering is in my mind the best way to get experiences in different environments without existing skills I imagine? I don't know, maybe some of the more popular organisations are being more strict about the people they use. If it weren't for random volunteering jobs I would never have started my journey to recovery so I'm kinda bias towards their ability to improve your mood. Do you enjoy it? ![]() |
#63
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What sort of volunteering jobs did you do? I used the "do-it" website and the local volunteering agency and I struggled to find roles that didn't require particular skills. It's probable that you had/have a wider range of skill-sets than me so you were able to do a greater range of jobs. Anyway, at this point I just want to find paid work. The volunteering is only a means to that end. No, other than beefing up the CV and very limited exposure therapy it's horribly boring. I know the popular line here is "Join a club or volunteer = make friends" but there is no opportunity for me to do that due to the massive age gap. It's the same with the Community College courses. It seems literally impossible to find someone my own age. |
#64
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#65
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I'm gonna get a bollocking for this but I don't get the complaint about cliqueness. I mean, how would you actually stop this from happening? How can you make a community less cliquey? Maybe I've not understood the problem fully.
I fear maybe I have contributed to this sense of cliqueyness (is that even a word) without knowing it, yet I do wonder if it's my problem for talking too much or just another manifestation of social anxiety from others? Everyone and anyone is welcome to butt into my stupid ramblings. ![]() |
#66
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I never said this site was "cliquey" or "hostile to outsiders" or anything of the sort. I was just saying that sometimes it seems that there are already so many well-forged connections here that it seems impossible that I'd be able to make my own. This isn't due to the people here being hostile or there being a parochial mindset but because I simply don't have the personality required to make people warm to me.
Black Mumba: The "pop positivity" comment wasn't aimed at you. I'm not sure why you're pushing the meets on me when I've already explained why they're not a realistic option. Maybe there's an unspoken assumption here that I'm exaggerating my problems or that it's only the depression talking? Geddalexneil: Interesting post. I used to think the same way about the PMs, but after so many rejections it's hard to remain philosophical about it. And I'm not just talking about this site. I'm thinking of Socialphobiaworld and Social Anxiety Support too. It's hard to attribute the lack of replies to ordinary anxiety. I think laziness and selfishness play a strong part. People don't want to make the effort, and they don't appreciate the effort made by others. What does it really cost to type out a few words? Your anxiety is really bad at the moment? That's perfectly okay. But are you really incapable of typing a quick "Thanks, anxiety is bad so can't really talk atm"? I also suspect that a lot of the guys I've messaged (esp. on SAS) only really use the forums to hook up. I'm not girlfriend material so don't merit the effort of a reply. I'm pretty much done with therapy at this point. Including the "conversation-prostitute", I've seen 7 therapists over the last 8 years. I've attended the sessions faithfully, been as honest as I could, did all the homework/exposure assignments etc. Nothing seems to work. But anyway, thanks to everyone who took the time to reply. |
#67
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The clique comment was not aimed at you Severian. It was referring to the posts by other people on this thread.
And I am in no way "pushing" you. It was a mere suggestion. I was just trying to have a chit chat. |
#68
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#69
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#71
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#72
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I'm sorry if I offended anyone. But surely you all know what it's like? You feel so miserable and impotent and you want to communicate those feelings to other people... but you just can't do it properly. If it makes you feel any better, Emu, I couldn't feel any more embarassed than I am right now. |
#73
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^ It wasn't aimed at you at all, it was a wistful and light-hearted reflection on olden times.
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#74
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You shouldn't feel embarrassed, Severian. SAUK is a safe space for us to be able to vent.
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#75
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Secondly, I feel exactly the same in the parts of the post I have quoted above. What keeps me going is that I might actually be wrong and it is worth challenging these thoughts. The alternative is too bleak. You have to make a decision ultimately - either to stay in a hole of your own making (this is me by the way) or risk rejection, but try and make your life better and combat SA. It is a choice at the end of the day. |
#76
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Sorry Emu! |
#77
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My turn to be paranoid. Have I pissed u off severian? Was not my intention at all.
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#78
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But for some reason even after that ordeal I went to another, and another. And each time it improved slightly. Years later and I have been to over a hundred. They helped me more than anything else to do with this forum. |
#79
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#80
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^Cool.
![]() (This is a general point not aimed at you Severian) I'm glad other people feel the same as me. I do often wonder if I put people off by acting like a complete twat all the time. This is the least exclusive/cliquey online community I've ever seen though so I just wanted to express that. ![]() |
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#82
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#83
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#84
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^lol !
I had a crazy dream last night involving giant killer sea squid coming into my house and then me being chased by a crazy guy sat on a squid and me flapping around like a dolphin trying to escape him underwater. Then Nick Hewer from The Apprentice rang me to ask why I was late for my meeting. Hmm... |
#85
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![]() This chat is only for people with beards. ![]() |
#86
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#87
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Thus, I have a beard. ![]() |
#89
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#90
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The biggest help it's been for me is simply being a hub for dumping all my thoughts which has allowed me to sleep/work/carry on with my day and help quell obsessive tendencies.
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