Biggest SA related fear?

[Pal]

In SA terms what would you say was your biggest fear?

For me i was always terrified at the idea of Club 18-30 holidays and Ibiza etc, partly because i've always been such a shit drinker and have always avoided drinking as best i could but largely because of the in your face social aspect involved. In fact when that Club Reps programme was on i used to have to turn over because just watching it was too provokative for me.

Can anyone relate?

What's your biggest SA fear?

[Part Crab]

I'd find it very, very hard to go to one of those places for the reasons you mentioned, but also because of the lack of respect British people have for other countries. It makes me cringe seeing it on TV or just watching English people be really loud and annoying in other countries...

[aubergine]

One of my worst fears is being caught live on camera - I imagine being in a traffic jam where there just happens to be a TV film crew who are thrusting their microphone through my driver's window to get live comments from frustrated motorists. I wouldn't be able to escape and probably wouldn't be able to speak, just mumble something totally incomprehensible. Not likely to happen, I know, but still makes me shudder. There are lots of other scenarios which are far more likely to happen which worry me though.

[Ross PK]

Originally Posted by Pal

In SA terms what would you say was your biggest fear?

For me i was always terrified at the idea of Club 18-30 holidays and Ibiza etc, partly because i've always been such a shit drinker and have always avoided drinking as best i could but largely because of the in your face social aspect involved. In fact when that Club Reps programme was on i used to have to turn over because just watching it was too provokative for me.

Can anyone relate?

What's your biggest SA fear?

Yup, plus everyone around you shagging each other and everything which would feel devastating when you don't even get any interest shown in you for the whole holiday.

I always change the channel too, not just because watching it would make me feel worse, but I'm not really interested in those shows anyway.

[neski]

Originally Posted by Pal

In SA terms what would you say was your biggest fear?

For me i was always terrified at the idea of Club 18-30 holidays and Ibiza etc, partly because i've always been such a shit drinker and have always avoided drinking as best i could but largely because of the in your face social aspect involved. In fact when that Club Reps programme was on i used to have to turn over because just watching it was too provokative for me.

Can anyone relate?

What's your biggest SA fear?

i actually went on a club 18-30 hol when i was 18, didnt really have sa then and it WAS as bad as they look on tv *winces at the memories*

[ShyDoll]

Hmmm biggest? I dunno.. Probably going to work. Or someone bugging me to go to work. It scares the bejesus out of me..

[Moksha]

Originally Posted by Pal

In SA terms what would you say was your biggest fear?

For me i was always terrified at the idea of Club 18-30 holidays and Ibiza etc, partly because i've always been such a shit drinker and have always avoided drinking as best i could but largely because of the in your face social aspect involved. In fact when that Club Reps programme was on i used to have to turn over because just watching it was too provokative for me.

Can anyone relate?

What's your biggest SA fear?

I really hate anything where there is a kind of forced fun you know?... a kind of acting or pretending to be enjoying yourself more than you really are. Other people seem to be able to do this without wincing at all. I went to an england game a little while ago and the 3 people I was with were chanting "oo are yer?" and all that sort of stuff and I just couldn't, I felt such a prat.

[fairyfingers]

Mine is ending up as one of those old hermit cat ladys found dead in her house surrounded by junk and all the stray cats in the neighbourhood.

[munch]

Making small talk! I'm rubbish at it. That awkward silence and blank brain when i meet someone for the first time uuuurgh i'm shuddering at the thought of it.

Public speaking, presentations, anything involving being on stage etc.

[Rosiemoore]

Club 18-30 hols sound like my worst nightmare, would not even dream of going on one!! Not just because of SA but cos it's just not appealing to me in any way!!!

Biggest SA-fear was always being misunderstood or hurting someone's feelings by being nervous with them! Especially a close friend or relative! :embarass:

[neski]

Originally Posted by Underground?

My worse and most depressing experience and when my anxiety really took of was when I got chatting to this really fit and tipsy American girl at a bus stop once in London waiting for a bus back to my town about an hour away, It was ok a first with just me and her there, but then the Bus came. It was really late and the Bus was packed and everyone was quite. Making conversation with this girl with everyone listening started to get me anxious and I looked like a right clueless mug by time I got off. Embarrassing is not the word.

Any pressured situation where I havent got a clue what to do will cause just as much anxiety. Other situations would bring on depression and low confidence too depending on what it was.

I really need my financial situation to change soon so I can sort things out. I know I can but the longer it goes on the harder it gets.

I use to have to turn of the Ibiza uncovered type programs as they use to make me think how I should be out doing that, enjoying my young life while I could and would just make me feel completely down about the state of mine.

mr u, ur trim is on the house, no prbs come say hello!!! we can blush together lol

[misslaura]

Going on a guided tour of a haunted location with my b.f and aload of other people,feeling very sa. Towards the end everyone (well it felt like everyone) was noticing me and some people asked if i was ok. I was so zoned out and it felt very surreal and strange,needless to say i was glad to leave sometimes i like to think i was possesed by some ghost that day instead of the truth i was a complete weirdo that day!

[you company man]

Dancing. I f*cking HATE dancing. It's took me 5 years to get just a little bit used to it.

[blubs]

Originally Posted by aubergine

One of my worst fears is being caught live on camera - I imagine being in a traffic jam where there just happens to be a TV film crew who are thrusting their microphone through my driver's window to get live comments from frustrated motorists. I wouldn't be able to escape and probably wouldn't be able to speak, just mumble something totally incomprehensible. Not likely to happen, I know, but still makes me shudder. There are lots of other scenarios which are far more likely to happen which worry me though.

something like this happenned to me once!...it wasn't a tv crew though..it was a radio show & as I was walking down the street with a friend a bloke literally did stick the microphone in front of me & asked me something. I just shook my head in silent panic & ducked around him. My friend thought it was funny...but it was horrible.

My worse SA thing is anything very quiet where theres a group..& being centre of attention. My SA started in tutorial groups at college...from that horrible tension of sitting in a really quiet confined space...being able to hear every chair scrape & just waiting to have to speak.

[Catkin]

Going out for a drink with people from work ...
it sounds like such a minor thing but every 3 weeks or so a dreaded email comes round announcing an evening out, I spend the days before worring like mad about it, then I chicken out anyway and invent an excuse not to go (i really hate that i end up lying). My journey home's spent cursing myself and fighting back tears and now it's more than 2 years since I last went out with everyone. Aaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. There's really no other word to describe it

[Concept]

Mine is small talk with people I don't feel comfortable around. If there isn't a clear aim in the conversation then I sometimes resent having to direct it.

[mal]

Anything that involves socialising. And even more pathetic than that, passing teens or chavs in the street.

[DaughterOfTheRains]

I don`t like walking past teens either, felt really uncomfortable with some noisy teenagers behind me on a bus today. Other than that, people in shops probably always think I`m rude because I`m bad at talking to them when buying something.

[GhostOnMagneticTape]

Speaking! Just the fear of mumbling, mis-pronouncing words, stuttering etc

[Medea]

Working in a call centre or somewhere similar. Cold calling people would be a nightmare. Working in a call centre with people phoning to complain, that would be hell. I also hate making small talk of any kind, so basically working with anyone!

[Pangolin]

My biggest SA related fear isn't very imaginative: Asking out a girl.

[Catkin]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Catkin!
Going out for a drink with people from work ...
it sounds like such a minor thing but every 3 weeks or so a dreaded email comes round announcing an evening out, I spend the days before worring like mad about it, then I chicken out anyway and invent an excuse not to go (i really hate that i end up lying). My journey home's spent cursing myself and fighting back tears and now it's more than 2 years since I last went out with everyone. Aaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. There's really no other word to describe it



Do you actualy like these folk? are they the kind of people you'd like to socialise with in general even if you didnt have "SA"?

Well unfortunately yes...that is the irony of the situation and why I despair so...generally the nicer I perceive a person to be, the more scared I am of talking with them ...I suppose because the stakes are higher and there's further to fall if they don't like me, even though the odds of them liking me are probably higher, and vice verse. (does that make sense???). Besides I can't help but think that an iota of a social life with people I don't really like would be marginally less depressing than no social life at all.

[Macavity]

Originally Posted by you company man

Dancing. I f*cking HATE dancing. It's took me 5 years to get just a little bit used to it.

I totally agree. I've got no sense of rhythm and I don't drink, so going out to clubs is pretty much my idea of hell.

I'm OK with making small talk with strangers one-to-one (not uni tutorials though! ), but struggle when its people I like and think I could get on with, I'm really no good at letting people know who I am and making true friends. Any situation where I have to be honest about my feelings with people is probably my biggest SA fear.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by Hilts

About 2 weeks a 15 year old girl was raped in the City Park. A mate and I were in the Park that day and saw her alleged attacker approach the group of girls.

I’ve gone forward as a witness and told the police what we saw. I also told them who else I remember being in the park that day in the hope that it will help them track down any other potential witness’s.

The guy has since been questioned and is on police bail.

I’m not really the sort that lets SA hold me back from doing things, but I admit that the thought of going to court, standing in the witness box and being cross examined scares the shit out of me.

I guess I’ll just have to cross that bridge when I get to it.

I was a character witness once during an assault trail a few years ago.

It's an unsual experience because you have to be pretty exact and specific in your answers but it's not really anything to be worried about. Cross examination can be a bit daunting as that leaves you open to critisim.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by Hilts

An ex girlfriend was a witness in an assault case against her sister and I got dragged along for moral support. When she took the stand the defence lawyer twisted everything she said.

This experience along with the thought of having all eyes on me and being judged is my main fear.

Thanks for the reply.

Opposing lawers always do.

It helps if you have experience in debating because, in my case at least, i literaly had to debate the point with the prosecusion until the judge told us off for doing so.

It get a little humiliating as lawyers can make you appear to be idiots but as long as you stand your ground and tell the truth there should be nowt to worry about. The fact this is a rape case probably works in your favour.

[Pangolin]

Originally Posted by Hilts

I just go with the notion that it’s a numbers game, if you keep asking women to go out with you; you will eventually come across one that will.

I don't think I would feel comfortable doing that. It would feel as though I was being "slimey" I mean, isn't that the sort of behaviour that men often get criticised for?

[Pal]

Originally Posted by Pangolin

I don't think I would feel comfortable doing that. It would feel as though I was being "slimey" I mean, isn't that the sort of behaviour that men often get criticised for?

Doesn't nesseserily work anyway unless you know the game. I know one guy who asks women out all the time and yet has only ever slept with one woman his entire life.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by Hilts

I have a mate who I’ve known since I was 13 and he flirts with anything wearing a skirt. To date he’s slept with just over 120 women.

Wonder why he has more success then the guy i know!?

[Pangolin]

Originally Posted by Hilts

But that’s how it works, non SA single men flirt and ask women out all the time, I don’t think there’s anything slimey about it. Unless you’re going after woman you know already has a boyfriend.

I guess there is nothing wrong with acting more flirtatious, I'm buggered if I know how to do that though I find conversation with strangers challenging enough, and that's when I don't feel SA.