Are you spontaneous with people?

spin66 · #1 3rd November 2010, 15:19

SA can affect spontaneity, what to do and say. Bet some sufferers spend hours planning

I'm much more spontaneous with life experience. Some good occassions in social settings here and there

Are you spontaneous?

yuffie · #2 3rd November 2010, 15:21

I'm never spontaneous, I need structure and routine my life feels like it would fall apart otherwise.

MichaelAlone · #3 3rd November 2010, 15:30

I'm very spontaneous for the first 5mins with a new person, any longer and i die inside and jump out of the nearest window.

spin66 · #4 3rd November 2010, 15:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by yuffie

I'm never spontaneous, I need structure and routine my life feels like it would fall apart otherwise.

I sometimes end up ritualized to reduce anxiety too- only what's above this is spontaneous

AxelFendersson · #5 3rd November 2010, 18:29

Sort of. In some ways I am, others I'm not. I'm not sure it's a question I can give a simple yes or no answer to.

MichaelAlone · #6 3rd November 2010, 18:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by AxelFendersson

Sort of. In some ways I am, others I'm not. I'm not sure it's a question I can give a simple yes or no answer to.

Far too analytical Axel - when you've got to my age you'll just think F*** it and jump in.

I remember the bad old days when i'd try to figure out life, the universe and everything.

Complete waste of time

ShyPete · #7 3rd November 2010, 18:45

Im rarely Sponaneous with anything. I like to stick to what I know and the schedule I have sort of planned in my head

MichaelAlone · #8 3rd November 2010, 18:45

I never bother with links or youtube clips - i'm more interested in what people here have to say for themselves.

No a/v thanks.

AxelFendersson · #9 3rd November 2010, 18:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by MichaelAlone

Far too analytical Axel - when you've got to my age you'll just think F*** it and jump in.

Maybe so but that's some way away yet, old man.

In the meantime, I'll carry on thinking about things sometimes.

MichaelAlone · #10 3rd November 2010, 18:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaveGirl

Even though my life is ruled by anxiety and fear...I can be ridiculously impulsive and it's depressng that when I am , it tends to go well yet I remain "chained up". I'm a fan of doing things off the cuff but it always has to be with the right person.
I don't think it's a good idea of giving in and meeting people at 3am but I know I would again if it felt right..I'm weird.

My 3am eternal babe

Dreamy4444 · #11 3rd November 2010, 20:18

I'm rediculously spontaneous to the point where I regret doing & saying things I did when I made those actions because I do things I normally wouldn't do.

spin66 · #12 3rd November 2010, 22:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dreamy4444

I'm rediculously spontaneous to the point where I regret doing & saying things I did when I made those actions because I do things I normally wouldn't do.

thats not spontaneous, thats erratic- spontaneity is associated with healthy social life

Phool · #13 3rd November 2010, 23:18

Not in conversations or small talk... I usually engage in conversations others have started.

But weirdly I get suffocated easily and don't like feeling boxed in...so I hate booking things more than a couple of weeks in advance and don't study train timetables and things till the day I have to travel...much to the irritation of my best friend! LoL Dunno if thats spontaneity or irresponsibility! LoL

Mr Ploppy · #14 3rd November 2010, 23:22

Depends on the other person, not often. It usually backfires.

Dreamy4444 · #15 4th November 2010, 11:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by spin66

thats not spontaneous, thats erratic- spontaneity is associated with healthy social life

I don't have a healthy social life, I rarely leave my house..

VeryQuietGuy · #16 4th November 2010, 17:08

Sometimes.

spin66 · #17 5th November 2010, 12:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dragnet

Depends on the other person, not often. It usually backfires.

yeah, it takes two persons to really sparkle

Azi · #18 5th November 2010, 12:38

I used to have to plan everything in advance - the anxiety around the unpredictable was unbearable. Now I'm much less anxious and so I do act on the moment much more.

ratty · #19 5th November 2010, 13:28

Yes very, but I get really frustrated because there is no-one to be spontaneous with. Pretty crap.

Salusa87 · #20 5th November 2010, 14:21

I plan things allot less now. I suppose I have more faith in my ability to deal with things in the moment now and know how the analysing route is often bit futile and counter productive. Sometimes I still consider whether I should still say something, and if i then do it can feel a bit unnatural.

A little bit of loose planning and analysing is still good.

Winnie57 · #21 6th November 2010, 01:24

Very occasionally. If I am it has to be with someone I know well, and I mean VERY well.

Paladin · #22 6th November 2010, 01:29

I am with the people I know best like for example siblings, when I'm in a good mood. Not with most people though. it is really something that requires confidence.

wallflowered · #23 6th November 2010, 19:30

i can be much more spontaneous with those i'm comfortable with, like my immediate family.
but when it comes to most social situations i find myself over-preparing. i need details about what's going to happen in order to lessen my anxiety.

if it's a social outing, i end up checking the rsvp list over and over leading up to the event, because i want to know who else will be there. if i'm driving myself, i've got to map out the directions to the event, using google maps to get a visual of the area and where to park the car. then i look up online reviews of the restaurant or pub to get an idea of what to expect, and to see pictures of the inside and outside.

i sometimes write down conversation topics, or rehearse funny stories, but i end up not saying anything, or when i do say something, the delivery sounds odd and self-conscious (probably because i've rehearsed it in my head!).

so all this i do, but it's not always as helpful in proportion to the work and worry i put into it.
it's hard to let go of these little rituals, though. i have to feel like i'm doing something about the anxiety. writing all this out makes me realize how obsessive it all is...

Lone Dog · #24 7th November 2010, 08:59

On the whole, no. I need to plan in advance.

Even when speaking to people I wish I knew in advance what they were going to say, because I could plan my reply. Otherwise it's a brain straining moment when I try to think of something relevant, appropriate and interesting.

spin66 · #25 7th November 2010, 09:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lone Dog

On the whole, no. I need to plan in advance.

Even when speaking to people I wish I knew in advance what they were going to say, because I could plan my reply. Otherwise it's a brain straining moment when I try to think of something relevant, appropriate and interesting.

I used to blank with people talking to me and didn't know how to initiate convo. I believe most people get out this state with life experience and increasing self confidence