10 things you shouldn't say / do :

Mr. Nobody · #1 11th December 2011, 12:42

10 things you shouldn't say / do :

on a date

1 : you remind me of my favorite porn actress.

Defiance · #2 11th December 2011, 13:20

dont text on your phone throughout most of the date.

dont invite your friend along mid way through the date and go off and have a 20 minute convo with them.

dont accuse your date of taking one look at you and fleeing if you have never met before and he has trouble finding/recognizing you.

[yes, all three of these happened to me on one date..]

Azi · #3 11th December 2011, 13:51

5. Don't tell her she looks like your mum.

daznsaz · #4 11th December 2011, 14:43

dont tell her your on day release

#5 11th December 2011, 20:13

7. So are we going back to your place tonight? If not, remind me to go to Asda to buy a tub of Vaseline and a cucumber for me tonight.

zxcvbn21 · #6 11th December 2011, 20:15

8. Invite the person back to yours, and if they say no, then say ' this was a waste of time then'.

Mr Spud · #7 11th December 2011, 20:19

9. Pick a fight with someone cos they are lookin at your bird

#8 11th December 2011, 20:20

10. I really like you, and I'm so glad you want me to come to your place tonight... it saves me from having to slip a Rohypnol in your drink.

zxcvbn21 · #9 11th December 2011, 20:22

10 things you shouldn't say / do :

after sex

1. Cab will be here in 5 mins for you love.

#10 11th December 2011, 20:24

2. Gotta admit love, it wasn't as good as a w@nk

#11 11th December 2011, 20:27

4. Erm... I don't mean to sound harsh, but can you put your clothes back on?

zxcvbn21 · #12 11th December 2011, 20:27

5. What you didn't have in looks, I thought you would make up for in the bedroom, well I've been cheated.

zxcvbn21 · #13 11th December 2011, 20:28

6. Last train is at 20 past 12.

Mr Spud · #14 11th December 2011, 20:29

7. How much do I owe you?

#15 11th December 2011, 20:31

8. So is that a mole on your @rse, or did you sit on a Malteser?

custom_fusion-lqx · #16 11th December 2011, 20:33

9. excuse me this isnt the kitchen

lol just joshing

zxcvbn21 · #17 11th December 2011, 20:33

10. I didn't know you were a virgin

zxcvbn21 · #18 11th December 2011, 20:37

10 things you shouldn't say / do :

at a funeral

1. Wear a Gastrol GTX bomber jacket (fans of partridge should get this one)

custom_fusion-lqx · #19 11th December 2011, 20:37

2. have sex with the corpse

zxcvbn21 · #20 11th December 2011, 20:41

3. Well bit annoying he passed really, he owed me a tenner.

Azi · #21 11th December 2011, 20:49

4. Streak.

zxcvbn21 · #22 11th December 2011, 20:52

5. Since his not about anymore, can I have his golf clubs?

custom_fusion-lqx · #23 11th December 2011, 20:52

6. so... whens the money coming through

#24 11th December 2011, 20:57

7. Doesn't he look like one of the cast of Night Of The Living Dead?

Mr Spud · #25 11th December 2011, 21:07

8. Turn to the oldest mourner and say "I reckon you'll be next mate"

Saponara_Immobile · #26 11th December 2011, 21:13

9. I can't believe he's dead. It was only last week he was telling me that he was gonna leave his wife and kids for some 19 year old girl.

zxcvbn21 · #27 11th December 2011, 21:13

10. Turning to the widower and saying ' looks like your back to your right hand mate'.

zxcvbn21 · #28 11th December 2011, 21:14

10 things you shouldn't say / do :

at a kids party

1. This is my mate Geoff, his not allowed around schools but don't let that concern you.

#29 11th December 2011, 21:17

2. Bring Viagra

Azi · #30 11th December 2011, 21:17

3. Spike the punch.