#1
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Making their own problems
I'm not trying to be controversial, or maybe I am being. Do you think that many cases of social anxiety cause their own problems?
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#2
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Re: Making their own problems
Yes, but I'm not sure I'd phrase it that way exactly. I'm sure there are a whole variety of behaviour patterns we have that end up contributing to SA. To say we cause it is a bit too general for me, but to say a certain behaviour might contribute to it, is how I'd prefer to see it.
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#3
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Re: Making their own problems
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But I do think sometimes people, including me, can put more work into overcoming anxiety. |
#4
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Re: Making their own problems
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#5
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Re: Making their own problems
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#6
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Re: Making their own problems
I think our brains have become conditioned to produce extreme fear in response to certain situations through life experience or even partly biological factors ,this fear can make people think irrationally at times, it can cause us to behave in an anxious manner , we become very self conscious, people then sometimes respond to us in an unhelpful way which causes a vicious circle of lack of confidence, depression, frustration inward thinking, but we are not consciously or deliberately making the problem, it is not easy to break out of conditioned habits that have more or less become part of ourselves. There should be no blame just a softer kinder approach to ourselves, and others, blame maybe part of the problem. That is the way I see my own experience of SA .
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#7
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Re: Making their own problems
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To suggest that people who don't move forward due to mental health issues are 'making up excuses', I think is very wrong and also pretty insensitive. In a sense I can see some truth in what you say, but the way you phrase it I think is very unhelpful and doesn't reflect the true emotions that are going on. |
#8
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SAers are allowed to say and do what they like with impunity, but a normal person.... if they so much as look at an SAer funny or use the wrong turn of phrase then they're pretty much as bad as Hitler.
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#10
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Re: Making their own problems
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#11
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Re: Making their own problems
I understand what Alena Lunae was trying to say, maybe she didn't express it perfectly or in the 'right' way but, crikey, isn't a major part of this condition being unable to express ourselves or state our opinions? I hope she's not discouraged from using the forum.
I think that it is part of the human condition to delude yourself and make up excuses as to why you can't to do something, whereas sometimes it's more that you won't do something. |
#13
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Re: Making their own problems
Yes it does of course, which is why they should not take the 'helpless' stance but take action to disconfirm it
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#14
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Re: Making their own problems
.......... social anxiety............#firstworldproblems...........
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#16
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Re: Making their own problems
I blame myself entirely. I'm lazy and cowardly. Not qualities that any society values.
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#17
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Re: Making their own problems
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I probably reacted because it seemed insensitive, plus you did initially say 'most of the time'. I think someone in the thick of extreme SA could be very upset to be told they were making up excuses. I can recognise in myself how I might make excuses to avoid things I'm scared of. Personally I try to be careful of my wording on a forum like this - everyone's experience is different. Just from my personal point of view - maybe during a recovery process I don't particularly like the phrases 'deluding yourself' and 'making excuses', because of the negative connotations. I prefer more positive phrasing. Once I've recovered from a particular thing I wouldn't give a damn about the phrasing though. |
#18
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Re: Making their own problems
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#19
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Re: Making their own problems
I think because its a mental health issue, I mean if I could see how I used to be now (worse) i'd think wtf get off your ass and make some effort etc, but it is and was a mental health issue and it wasn't that easy. You do end up making excuses but when you start to be able to push yourself a bit more, even just a little bit, into 'normal' social situations it gets better. If you were like me and had outcasted yourself from society basically, then it can be bloomin difficult.
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#20
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Re: Making their own problems
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Except sometimes with the people I work with I try not to avoid stuff, but this has never worked out well for me. |
#21
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Re: Making their own problems
When I was younger I couldn't do anything to beat shyness now im older I know o give up too easily and always expext things to go bad so dont even try anymore. So yes and no
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