What sort of people

[Bluebear]

What sort of people do you have as your friends? Or what sort of people would you like to have as your friends? Personally I don’t care about age at all.. I like people who are friendly, relatively non judgmental and intelligent. A sense of humour helps too.

[humphrey]

I would like to have some proper friends, but I just end up putting up walls and keeping apart from people.

[Bluebear]

Originally Posted by humphrey

I would like to have some proper friends, but I just end up putting up walls and keeping apart from people.

I think a lot of people with SA tend to do this, even online. I’ve been invited to a few meets (not particularly local to me though I don’t think) and I just said I couldn’t go to the meet. If I had accepted the invite, I probably would have had horrible anticipatory anxiety... I don’t slam my inbox shut on people online though unless I have a very good reason to. I used to more than I do now, but not without a sensible reason. I’m not saying you do this btw or that anyone here does this.

[Bluebear]

I don’t usually cancel.. but I have cancelled other things for similar reasons.

[Bluebear]

Originally Posted by skittles88

yeah I like people who are friendly and have humour, I like to joke.

[Mountainstream]

I like people who are kind and non judgmental.

[Bluebear]

Originally Posted by Mountainstream

I like people who are kind and non judgmental.

I agree ...

[WhispPurr]

Sometimes I'd like to have more friends... other times I just wanna cut myself off from everyone.
Sometimes I wanna make connections... other times I remove people from my contacts.

I find it hard to trust/ believe people, so even when I make friends with someone, I worry what they really think, or if they're just being nice to my face, or that I'm taking too much and not giving enough.

[Bluebear]

Originally Posted by WhispPurr

Sometimes I'd like to have more friends... other times I just wanna cut myself off from everyone.
Sometimes I wanna make connections... other times I remove people from my contacts.

I find it hard to trust/ believe people, so even when I make friends with someone, I worry what they really think, or if they're just being nice to my face, or that I'm taking too much and not giving enough.

I have trust issues too..
I don’t usually remove people from my contacts though..
Thanks for replying

[WhispPurr]

Sometimes I've removed people and then regretted it - and I can't really say please re-add me (e.g. on social media)!
Other times I feel glad that I've severed ties with people as I've realised I was holding onto them in case they were 'of use' to me, which isn't the best view for a friendship.

[Bluebear]

Originally Posted by WhispPurr

Sometimes I've removed people and then regretted it - and I can't really say please re-add me (e.g. on social media)!
Other times I feel glad that I've severed ties with people as I've realised I was holding onto them in case they were 'of use' to me, which isn't the best view for a friendship.

I agree, I just don’t like removing someone usually unless they have done something .. some of my contacts I never hear from and I have no idea where they have gone (some on here too)

[Tembo]

I'm lucky to have a small group of friends, who are all open minded, non judgemental and absolutely hilarious - so it is possible to find people like this. We have a dry and filthy sense of humour which some people can find offensive, but they are all kind decent people.

I also like how they are not conventional - I prefer people who are a bit wierd as they are more interesting. I feel comfortable being a complete geek around them too. I feel I can be myself around them (to an extent- some of my behaviour can be a bit much and I need to be careful sometimes)

The friends I have lost have largely been over-sensitive (e.g. Getting easily offended), or potential sociopaths who didn't like me seeing other friends. Although I have lost friends who were decent people too, all thanks to my wierd behaviour back when I was a teenager

[Bluebear]

Originally Posted by Aleks

I'm lucky to have a small group of friends, who are all open minded, non judgemental and absolutely hilarious - so it is possible to find people like this. We have a dry and filthy sense of humour which some people can find offensive, but they are all kind decent people.

I also like how they are not conventional - I prefer people who are a bit wierd as they are more interesting. I feel comfortable being a complete geek around them too. I feel I can be myself around them (to an extent- some of my behaviour can be a bit much and I need to be careful sometimes)

The friends I have lost have largely been over-sensitive (e.g. Getting easily offended), or potential sociopaths who didn't like me seeing other friends. Although I have lost friends who were decent people too, all thanks to my wierd behaviour back when I was a teenager

I prefer people who are unconventional and a bit weird also

[WhispPurr]

Sometimes if I message a friend and don't hear back from them after weeks or months, I think maybe they don't want me around any more... and I don't want to be clingy, so I cut them out of my life.

But then I also know that everyone has stuff going on in their lives, and maybe THEY are withdrawing from people and could actually DO with a friend... it's hard to know sometimes. :os


I, too, do enjoy people who are 'different' - though I still find it hard to 'be myself' around others.

[Bluebear]

Originally Posted by WhispPurr

Sometimes if I message a friend and don't hear back from them after weeks or months, I think maybe they don't want me around any more... and I don't want to be clingy, so I cut them out of my life.

But then I also know that everyone has stuff going on in their lives, and maybe THEY are withdrawing from people and could actually DO with a friend... it's hard to know sometimes. :os


I, too, do enjoy people who are 'different' - though I still find it hard to 'be myself' around others.

I’ve had similar dilemmas to this...

It is hard to know with people sometimes, they can be confusing..

[Consolida]

If friends are people that you feel you could phone any time, even when you are feeling down, and are able to meet up with regularly for a coffee and a chat then I don't have a single friend. Friendships have always been something that other people have but have never really been for the likes of someone as dull and as socially awkward as me.

I had a good platonic male friend for 20 years but when I met my now husband he wasn't happy for me at all and things became so unpleasant that the friendship inevitably came to an end. It broke my heart because he was not only a dear friend but like an older brother to me.

I used to regularly see another friend but circumstances changed (she was busy with work and got married) so although we keep in touch we only exchange the occasional text and see each other about once a year.

Of course my husband is my best friend and the person I most love spending time with (besides my son) but would that count if someone asked me if I have friends?

I do worry about getting older and not having a few friends. I have seen elderly couples who only have each other in life then one of them dies and the other is completely left alone with no supportive friends to turn to. Hopefully I will pop my clogs first!

As for the sort of people I would like to have as friends, well in a perfect world, they would be kind hearted, non judgemental, open and honest, have a love for animals, the arts and the countryside, and most importantly be accepting of awkward weirdos like me! But that's a tall ask

To be honest, I've long ago accepted that I'm not friendship material and that's okay. If worse comes to worse, when I'm old and grey, I can surround myself with hundreds of cats

Please don't quote as I will probably end up deleting this!!!