In Newcastle, Low confidence, lonely, have no real friends & want friendship.

[Adam-H]

Hi everyone,

I'm a sufferer of social anxiety and low confidence. My brain shuts down completely front of people and I struggle to find words. I start focusing on my facial expressions, sometimes my voice would start to shake, I would start sweating and become really self-conscious and uncomfortable. I'm not really good at much and I feel really dumb and clumsy when I'm front of people, which doesn't help with my low self-esteem.

I've been like this my whole life and have been through Cognitive Behavioural Therapy with no effect. I don't have any real friends and suffer from loneliness. I'm an introvert but I hate being alone. I'm wanting to find others who also suffer from low confidence and loneliness and hopefully gain friendship with someone similar.

I'm in Newcastle upon Tyne and was wondering if there is anyone else from here who is similar to myself and interested in friendship?

[LHC1]

Originally Posted by Adam-H

Hi everyone,

I'm a sufferer of social anxiety and low confidence. My brain shuts down completely front of people and I struggle to find words. I start focusing on my facial expressions, sometimes my voice would start to shake, I would start sweating and become really self-conscious and uncomfortable. I'm not really good at much and I feel really dumb and clumsy when I'm front of people, which doesn't help with my low self-esteem.

I've been like this my whole life and have been through Cognitive Behavioural Therapy with no effect. I don't have any real friends and suffer from loneliness. I'm an introvert but I hate being alone. I'm wanting to find others who also suffer from low confidence and loneliness and hopefully gain friendship with someone similar.

I'm in Newcastle upon Tyne and was wondering if there is anyone else from here who is similar to myself and interested in friendship?

Hi Adam,

You have just written my whole life story. I am completely in the same boat as you.

It is a real struggle :/ I want to make real friendships too although I am in Manchester.

Louise

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[Adam-H]

Hi Louise,

Wow, I didn't think I'll get any replies let alone this quick.

Sometimes, I just feel like other people who are like myself don't exist but obviously they do. I just wish I could meet people like you in person. Everyday I'm surrounded by confident people which makes me feel even more different and awkward.

Do you also focus on your facial expression?

Sometimes, I feel like I'm forcefully smiling when I'm just embarrassed and then it's hard to change from a fake smile to what I'm actually feeling (if that makes any sense). It's just weird and embarrassing.

[LHC1]

Originally Posted by Adam-H

Hi Louise,

Wow, I didn't think I'll get any replies let alone this quick.

Sometimes, I just feel like other people who are like myself don't exist but obviously they do. I just wish I could meet people like you in person. Everyday I'm surrounded by confident people which makes me feel even more different and awkward.

Do you also focus on your facial expression?

Sometimes, I feel like I'm forcefully smiling when I'm just embarrassed and then it's hard to change from a fake smile to what I'm actually feeling (if that makes any sense). It's just weird and embarrassing.

Yes I do feel like I am focusing on my facial expressions especially when the attention is on me.

& I also get a nervous smile and I think people can see straight through it or think that I'm wierd.

I freeze up, my mind goes blank and I feel like I look like a deer in headlights.

You are not alone, trust me

I tried CBT last year and it did help change my thought pattern a little but the feelings are still there.

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[JohnnyBoy55]

Hey Adam, I know exactly how you feel!
I used to be very much like that but my SA has gotten a little better over the last couple of years, but it's definitely still a daily struggle.
Sorry to hear the CBT didn't work, it don't have much of an effect on me either when I tried it. I guess it does work for some people though.

Also feel like a bit of a Billy-no mates, hah ha!

[Lolo36]

hi adam,
i live in the north east and I've been struggling with social anxiety for most of my life too. I don't have any real friends either as I can't talk to people without feeling terribly self conscious and my mind goes blank almost every time which makes me feel so boring and useless. It's so frustrating as I want to be social and make friends. It does feel like I'm the only one who has this problem, but I guess i'm not.

[Adam-H]

Hi Lolo and Johnny,

Johnny, how did your anxiety reduce?

Do you know any good sites where I can find people with low confidence who are also looking for friendship?

[jonasz14]

Hi Adam,
Like yourself and Lolo, I'm in the north-east too.
I'm stuck alienated too and have lingering self-consciousness from my past playing a part in my block when it comes to approaching. I can relate to your descriptions, may have experienced the same but not as bad, or repressed it, but certainly not anymore (though still have the self-con doubts and confusions)

So feel free to get in touch via the site, I know just having someone to run some things by can be a big soother.
(I'm pretty scarce here though and newish myself)

[limey123]

Can relate strongly to the thing about being OK when on your own but being dumb-struck when put in social situations. I've always been good at (and like a lot) writing to people, maybe it's because I can really be myself and not the socially-awkward, bumbling fool I must appear to many to be.

[Adam-H]

Hi everyone,

Haven't visited the forum for a while.

The strange thing about me is that despite all this a lot of people think I'm a confident person. I've been told I speak confidently and my body language is confident. People tell me that I don't appear to be low in confidence. But I feel completely the opposite inside. I've missed out on a lot of things in life because of social anxiety and low confidence. The sweating, shaking, feeling my heart race, jumbling up on words, going blank and focusing on my facial expressions is just a horrible feeling and results in avoiding social interaction. But it feels a bit better knowing that I'm not alone.

I just don't see people like myself in everyday life. I've talked about my anxiety with others online and in person and not everyone understands. In my opinion only those who suffer from social anxiety can truly understand how disabling and uncomfortable life can be.

I just don't want to live through life alone and I'm sure there are many others out there who feel the same way. So I'm searching for others out there who also suffer from social anxiety and experience the same things as myself because we can understand each other better than anyone else. I'm searching for those who are introverted and not a social person but also hate being alone like myself and wants a friend to hang out and experience life with rather than just a online friend.

[AJF79]

Adam, people cannot see what is going on in someone's mind. You may appear confident on the outside, but inside you are different. People in general do not understand mental health issues as they are invisible, but they need to be talked about. When you say you don't see other people suffering, you would be surprised what happens behind closed doors. There are a lot of people who appear really happy and confident with great lives, but when they go home, they really hate their lives and themselves. Some people even live in a world in which they are so unhappy that they invent a more confident world to live in, and believe they live in it! Believe me, I have seen it.

[Adam-H]

I know most people put on a act and people seem happy on the outside but aren't on the inside. But a lot of people don't seem to understand social anxiety.

Often socially awkward people get laughed at or people start making offensive jokes at those who have low confidence. People like that clearly don't understand what it's like to be in that position.

Exploitation and bullying are some of the reasons why I don't like socialising.

[Adam-H]

A lot of people seem to like making fun of each other and call it banter or a joke. I just find it hurtful and hate that sort of thing. It's not my idea of having fun or a laugh. Things like that are not for me.

I find that I'm more comfortable with those who are quiet. I can connect better with quiet people and feel that it's the right type of personality for me.

I'm not a social person but I also hate being on my own. There are a lot of different types of people, some like being on their own and others don't. So I'm searching for someone who is similar to myself. Someone who is lonely, has low confidence, introverted but doesn't like being alone and wants friendship.

I'm from Newcastle upon Tyne so I'm searching for someone who is also in Newcastle and wants friendship.