Anyone have phone phobia?

[LoubyLou]

Hi, I have a massive phobia of phones, not the actual physical phone but talking on them. I fear calling people, I have to reherse over and over what I am going to say or even sometimes write down a script and don't get me started if the person on the other end doesn't stick to MY script, total panic sets in and I want to either cry or just hang up. Answering the phone that's an even bigger source of anxiety for me, what is the person on the other end going to say or ask, I hate that unpredictablity, what if I can't answer their questions? , oh, and I have to take 3 or 4 deep breathes before I answer not sure if this is to steady my nerves or i'm secretly hoping it'll ring off. The anxiety is easier if I'm talking to my siblings or my mum but it's still there, I still find the conversation stilted. I also cannot talk on the phone if someelse is within earshot of me. No one in my family understands this problem I have, they think it's stupid. Does anyone on this forum suffer similarly or is it just me?

[LoubyLou]

No, I work for myself so have to call people and answer it and it never gets easier believe me.

[Marco]

^ I'm just the same! My work usually involves making and taking calls. After all these years you***8217;d think I***8217;d be comfortable with the phone, but the truth is my heart still skips a beat whenever the phone rings at work. In fact I still screen my personal calls and if I don***8217;t recognise the number, I rarely answer it. I'm also still quite uncomfortable making personal calls to friends and family. It's an aspect of my SA that I have found very difficult to control despite continual exposure to the problem.

[LoubyLou]

Thank goodness it's not just me, no one I know understands it and even question whether it's real or just me being silly. Thanks for replying it's a comfort to know I'm not alone.

[Laracroft1]

Nah, definitely not just you. I have the same feelings. Dread when it rings. Convinced it's bad news or worse, I'm going to be trapped on the phone because the other person won't shut up and I'm stuck hanging on. My fear of calling people has lessened just because I'm older now

[LoubyLou]

***55357;***56397; yes I always put off making appointments, u r right very annoying

[Dougella]

Yes, I don't ever answer the phone unless I know who will be calling. I avoid making phone calls unless I absolutely have to and then I'll plan what to say beforehand.

[KookyBlue]

Yes,it's my main problem with my anxiety is talking on the phone. More so having to be myself on the phone. I have worked in telesales in the past and was really good at it but that's working to a script and saying the same things repeatedly. I can't bring myself to pick up the phone and call family and friends though and have become estranged from them because of it. I do find though that if I call someone on a regular basis that it comes easier talking to them but it's making that phone call in the first place.

[flumpsy]

I never answer the phone without a huge amount of work before hand, I do anything to avoid it.

For example yesterday I drove to a garage in order to walk in and book the mot for today. Because I couldnt ring like 'normal' humans do. The ringing of the phone can easily throw my entire day off, just the ringing. My home phone hasnt been plugged in for a few years now, no point. I had money trapped in a bank account for years because it required a phone call to sort an account issue out.

I have tried all sorts of things, many different types of phones, different rings, silent, skype. Nothing helps. On the very rare occasion where I manage to talk on the phone I tend to fall into a bit of a low (huge understatement) afterwards knowing how pathetic I have been making such a big deal out of it.

I work around it and have decided its not the most important/urgent of my issues to fix so I try not to beat myself up about it.

Its all avoidance caused by some incredibly difficult real life phone events that happened a few years back. Once on the phone I am generally quite good at it.

[Mo34]

Yeah

When I had CBT many moons ago the practitioner said to me that all social phobics seem to have a problem with phones, tho he couldn't figure out why, lol. It does seem to be a common theme/issue that runs through SA.

[kirbycrackle]

Yep. I hate my phone ringing unexpectedly! It makes me really nervous and unless I recognise the number I won't answer it, and even then they usually have to call a few times before I do.

[migster]

I have also suffered from... telephobia (?) and have found that the only way to beat it was to expose myself to it continuously. I can't yet say I'm "cured" and still get nervous whenever I have to take a call or call someone, BUT I'm much better now than I was before and can see how continuing down this path of exposure will slowly but surely improve my response to the phone and eventually eliminate the nervousness altogether. (Believing you can get better is also very important)

Three aspects have had a dramatic effect on this (but also anxiety in general):

- I do NOT allow myself to ingest any stimulants whatsoever (think caffeine and tea, or prescription drugs)
- I make sure I get enough sleep, which in my case is at least 7h a night
- Meditation every single day for at least 30 minutes early in the morning

[Ajax Amsterdam]

Originally Posted by Mo34

Yeah

When I had CBT many moons ago the practitioner said to me that all social phobics seem to have a problem with phones, tho he couldn't figure out why, lol. It does seem to be a common theme/issue that runs through SA.

I used to have a major problem with using the 'phone. I'm still not great at it, but I'm better than I used to be. Ironically, when I did my counselling placement I told my employers at interview about my SA. Calling new clients became an issue for me so the service would actually do that for me for a while. I did get better at it eventually, though.

My 'phone phobia went way back. I think for me there were a few things going on. I absolutely hated being observed and/or overheard making a call (or doing any task, for that matter). I'd also be really nervous making a call, so would stumble over my words, and this put me off making calls in the first place. I'd actually blush like mad when making a call, too.

[Schmosby]

I used to use the phone all the time at work, but then not be able to use it at home. Currently I avoid the work phone, but am quite good answering my mobile. In all fairness all the calls I get on my mobile are work related, my mum or recorded messages about my non existent ppi claim/accident claim/pension etc so nothing unexpected.

My issue with phones has always been selective. I have no difficulty calling people that need to give me service, such as bank, council etc. or at least much less difficulty than other calls. If I wanted to call somone on ebay regarding an item or someone I had met online, I just couldn't.

[neilm]

Dont like using the phone in public (or whilst being observed) and have had big problems in the workplace over the issue in the past.

Ime fine using the phone whilst on my own or whilst nobody is watching me though.

P.S. Any phone issues I have relate to Voice Calls only , Texting or whatever in public isnt an issue for me.

[Toxic]

my 2 worst SA things..are driving and phones. (actually thats pretty much all of it)

I avoid answering the phone at all costs, even if its someone I know I purposely ignore it and text them later..I'll make up an excuse, anything to not talk to people on the damn thing.

I can just about make personal calls..if I'm all alone and no one can hear me and I write down exactly what I need to say/do (like if its something to do with banking..or car insurance..or some other dull adult thing)

I thought working in an office would help me, 4 years later..nope. not at all. I've had to answer and make hundreds of calls, its never got better for me so I feel I'm perfectly within my rights to say exposure therapy with phones is complete bollocks for me personally and has no effect! I'm not even there to answer the phone, but I am a last resort if everyone else is busy, I've got my own job to do which doesnt involve dealing with people/customers and its got to the point where my boss doesn't even care if I ignore answering it because we both know I'm so god awful at it..

Evil things, give me an email or a text any day, I'll text anyone about anything..but phones!

[LoubyLou]

Toxic I agree exposure doesn't work for me either, the more I use the phone the worse I get

[LoubyLou]

I hate it when I've been to the doctors for Social Anxiety and they give you the phone number to mind, etc, I just want to scream "are you kidding me?" aaahhhhhhhh

[flumpsy]

I had to answer support calls at work for over 10 years, things didnt get easier and in fact pushing myself to do this made it worse outside of work. I took myself off support as soon as was possible but still had to cover the occasional day when staff were out, I absolutely hated it and admit that I did occasionally fail, despite how important it was. It was made worse by my lack of confidence and how technical and complicated many of the calls were.

Exposure certainly didnt work for me, it does with other things but not with phone.

Actually, calls specifically to an individual it probably does but picking up a random call it doesnt. If I practice calling the same person I think it does get slightly easier each time.

[LoubyLou]

Thank everyone who posted, It's not just me then and seems to be a big part of this vile condition. I hate having SA it feels like been mentally paralysed.

[newbs16]

If I can email about something instead I will use that as an alternative to speaking on the phone, like cancelling an appointment, making one.

Day to day I manage fine, I often feel anxious if I'm calling someone for the first time and look at my phone for a while before ringing them, I'm not too keen on leaving answerphone messages and not like having conversations around lots of people.

[lynella]

Oh my although I joined this site a while ago I never really looked at it and this is my first post. When I read up about fear of phones I was stunned as I thought I was the ONLY person in the world with this condition. I have not gone to my GP yet and suffered social anxiety for YEARS but finally plucked up the courage to make that dreaded appointment to discuss all my fears, serious phobias and anxiety about people and phones etc and I dont understand why I am like this at all. Thanks for this post, its made me feel better just knowing I am not alone with this condition.

[LoubyLou]

Hi lynella, yep I also thought I was the only one with this phone phobia and I can't believe the response. I too have have the dreaded appointment to discuss all my problems, hope you go on OK with yours. I too am new to posting on this forum , although I lurked about frightened to death by it for quite some time. Good luck to you.

[LoubyLou]

Don't get me started on Virginmedia, I once got hold of the MD's email address and emailled him all to avoid phoning .***55357;***56872; I have to say though it did work and I got the best service ever.

[lynella]

Hi LoubyLou.
THANKS, for your response you are the very first person I have spoken to about this condition. I wish you luck too. Please let me know how you get on with the Docs. I haven't a clue what I am going to say in only 10 minutes have so many symptoms and scared he will just brush it off as depression or just straightforward anxiety. I was diagnosed with these years ago but never bothered to take anti depressants because it was the anxiety that was more of a serious problem for me. I feel these are serious problems we have and need special treatment and if we can get a "name" for this it would be a start. At the moment I am all jumbled up as to what this is or why it happened and I just feel weird/odd/not normal! (If you know what I mean!!!).

Oh, and I could have got a double appointment if I didnt have this dread of PHONES to call in for one. Again, I booked my appointment online and could only find one ten minute slot. It will have to do!!! I just hope I dont end up cancelling at the last moment (as I do with most appointments and reschedule over and over, ie the dreaded dentist etc) as I dont want to be in public and worst is facing the doctors waiting rooms full of people staring!! (Or I think they are).

Anyway, please keep me posted Id like to know how it all turns out for you.

[Hayman]

It certainly isn't just you and it's good to know plenty of others have similar issues! I don't answer the phone at home and I only answer the phone at work if I absolutely have to. I'm literally pushed into answering calls. Why? I don't really know. I can only hazard a guess. I don't like answering the phone to someone I don't know and I don't like making calls (apart from to family – I'm okay in that circumstance) out of the fear of not knowing who will answer or how I'll come across to them.

I have no issue with text messages and I prefer that way of contact, or e-mail, over actual phone calls any day. I only answer calls on my mobile phone if the number is recognised. Anything that isn't (which is usually junk) is left unanswered. I'll then Google the phone number, find out if it really is a junk call and then block it.

[clyde33]

I hate phones as i always seem to speak at the same time as the other person, they'll stop and i'll stop, there will be a silence, then i'll start talking again just at the same time as them, then i'll apologise and say 'on you go' then they'll say 'no, on you go' and it just all goes wrong.

I get so flustered and nervous on the phone that i can hardly breathe properly. I seldom answer my mobile, and never if i'm out in public in case someone hears me stuttering and stammering.