New girl at work - I went to school with her! (eek)

LonelyOnTheInside · #1 10th October 2010, 20:00

So last week we had a new batch of temps in for 6 months and everyone was getting a good look at them all as they walked down the large office I work in.

The last person to join was a girl I recognised right away - I went to school with her

Now, most people would probably be thinking 'oh cool, we can catch up', but I have spent most of my life avoiding everyone from school as it was one of the worst times of my life

I avoided Friends Reunited, My Space, Bebo and Facebook...all because I don't want anyone from back in those days to know anything about me, how I look, my job, my sexuality etc etc. I have issues, obviously

I went into a blind panic last Monday and ran into the kitchen to avoid her, then to my horror she was shown the kitchen by my manager LOL. She looked at me right in the eye and just gave me a kind of smile, so I smiled back and said "hi".
As the week went on, we just sort of said "ello" to each other when passing, as luckily she was transfered to a different department for a few days (phew!).
On Friday she was back in my office and sat with a work mate of mine doing some training. I saw them laughing together and jumped to conclusions thinking they were laughing at me/about me. So, in a moment of madness, I went up to her and said "are you ***** ******?" and she looked at me and said "yeah why?" with a puzzled look on her face. I told her I went to school with her and she looked even more puzzled, so I told her my full and her face went a bit like this --->

. She just shouted "OH MY GOD! I can't believe it, I wouldn't have recognised you!"
Now, I'm no fool, we've not seen each other for about 20 years, but we were quite good pals for a year or so, so I was a bit stunned she didn't recognise me at all.

Anyways, she said "oh I can't want to tell everyone", so I asked who everyone was, and she started realing off all these names she is still friends with ......all of the people that made my life Hell back then!

So not only am I panicking about going to work tomorrow, knowing all of these horribler people from my past have been talking about me (and probably having a good laugh), but I could have maybe got away with not saying anything to her, seeing as she didn't recognise me

lol.

Guess what I'm asking here is....how do I act tomorrow? I'm gonna have to act as I can't show her, or my work mates, how I'm really feeling.
I feel such a weird pressure knowing that she's there...just there...in 'my domain'. I get on really well with most of my work mates and have a right laugh with them, I'm now feeling like I'm gonna have to watch what I say, how I conduct myself, what I reveal about my life etc.
I know it's not healthy to behave/feel like this, but I'm freaking out a little.

ARGH

(apologied for the long post)

Sadpup · #2 10th October 2010, 20:09

Theres nothing to worry about, people move on from school. Your just clouding your judgement with your emotions.

And 20 years is a LONG time.

Just relax and think to yourself. "I'm just being paranoid, everythings going to be cool"

Nikkos · #3 10th October 2010, 20:18

God that was unlucky mate, I can totally relate i few years ago i would have acted the same way, everyone who i knew at school when they see me now always say "on my god, you've totaly changed i would not have known that you were ***** *****"

But i know I've changed for the better as i had a rough time at school as'well i would try to be happy that things have changed and your not in that position anymore and it wont happen again.

I would try and relax she might be telling everyone how your totally different now and doing really good for your self that will show them who upset you at school.

Anyway bud hope you manage to chill and i got a feeling tomorow you will be posting how it went well and there was nothing to worry about.

AutumnLeaves · #4 10th October 2010, 20:21

I very much doubt these people's priority in life would be to make your life hell still. Most people grow up, even the bullies! You're not at school any more and you're not the same person you were at school either. You're an adult with a job to do, and you're doing well, getting on with your colleagues. Don't bother thinking about this woman, she's got no power over you, you don't have to answer to her. That's what i think, anyway

Rane · #5 10th October 2010, 20:52

That was really was unlucky, theres great advice above, best of luck, I'm sure it'll be fine

Johnni · #6 10th October 2010, 21:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sadpup

Theres nothing to worry about, people move on from school. Your just clouding your judgement with your emotions.

And 20 years is a LONG time.

Just relax and think to yourself. "I'm just being paranoid, everythings going to be cool"

Agreed.
You assume they will be the same as they were 20 yrs ago however they treated you unfairly.
Look at the positive in that you might get on as you got on well for a year.

LonelyOnTheInside · #7 10th October 2010, 21:53

Cheers for the advice, all

I do know, deep down, that we've both grown up a lot, what is niggling away at me is that she is still living in the same area, and is still friends with the same people so they *might* not have changed.

On the other hand, and in a positive (maybe childish) way of looking at it, she's the new girl and I'm an established member of the team, so I have the 'upper hand'

.

I may be freaking out a little, but I've decided I'm gonna go in there tomorrow and be really friendly with her and tell her if she needs help with anything to give me a shout.

VeryQuietGuy · #8 10th October 2010, 22:47

I agree with the others, these people haven't seen you in 20 years, they will have their own lives and issues not to be making fun of you again after all these years.

jay9 · #9 10th October 2010, 22:54

What a shame you had the courage to speak to her and she didn't recognise you anyway. I'm lucky enough to live very far away from my school, so I won't be seeing anyone I know, heheh.

jay9 · #10 11th October 2010, 12:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by J-Dog

At least you had the balls to go up and introduce yourself, otherwise it would be hanging over you for ages "does she recognise me, does she not" etc.

That's a good way to look at it.

LonelyOnTheInside · #11 11th October 2010, 20:57

Well, I went to work and saw her, and made a point of saying hi and asking if she had a nice weekend....she then told me she had told 'everyone' about me (yikes!). I said "that's nice" ....LOL. I really didn't know what to say.

Anyways, I just asked how 'everyone' was doing these days and we actually had a decent chat. I'll be honest, I was crapping myself, but I kept it together and said it was nice to see her again, and if she needs any help to just let me know.
She made a point of saying 'see ya tomorrow' to me when she was leaving, which was nice.

I'm still really uneasy with her being there...and I have given it some thought today, and came to the conclusion that I actually don't give a toss what she might think about me and what she's been telling 'everyone'....mainly because I see her life hasn't changed much since school at all, where I feel like a totally different person to what I was back then.

Like I say, meeting people from my past, especially school days, was one of my ultimate fears....and I've confronted it as I had no choice....and it wasn't that bad.

Maybe it's because I'm in a good mood and feeling positive today, but I feel OK about it all now.

Cheers everyone for the advice

ItsNotAPorkChop · #12 11th October 2010, 21:58

You're not the only one that feels like that, you don't have issues. Seeing people from school is what is stopping me from getting a job where I am now. I don't think I ever can get a job here in Bristol mainly just because of the fear of bumping into people that know me from school. This isn't good as I have been without a job since I've left school/college and I really want one but I don't think I can until I move outta and away from here.