Being self-conscious of how few birthday wishes I get

[The Golden Sprout]

It's my 31st birthday today. No-one but my husband, my one friend, my parents, a few cousins and my mother in law remembers my birthday. As happy as I am that I have the few of them around, birthdays make me feel pathetic about myself for the simple fact of knowing I have so very few people who care.

[The Golden Sprout]

Just as I posted the above, I received a message from a girl I met last year and hung out with a couple of times. One time we mentioned the dates of our B-days and I wrote hers down in my calendar and she mine. She's such a sweet person. As I read her message I remembered with horror that she was also born in June. >_> I never set to receive a notification and so I never wished her a happy birthday. I now feel so anxious about replying to her.

Man I suck. These sort of things are why I have no friends in the first place.

[gregarious_introvert]

^ Just reply to her and apologise for missing her birthday, say that the pandemic has distracted you from things (or some other excuse) and promise not to miss it next year. If you enjoyed her company, you might also want to say that you look forward to meeting up again when restrictions are lifted.

Your list of people who remember your birthday looks quite impressive! When I was 31 (I can remember that far back - just), my birthday was the day I was given notice from my job and I received two cards, one from my aunt (who died in 2003) and one from my parents (who died in 2001 and 2011). All birthday cards stopped when my aunt died, as my dad was too infirm to leave the house and buy one (I was his carer, so he would have had to have asked me to buy my own card!) - although in the last couple of years, I did have a partner who remembered my birthday.

Happy birthday, by the way. I hope you have a good day.

[The Golden Sprout]

Hi gregarious introvert, thank you! I want to give you a hug. Your 31st was mighty sad but somehow the fact your dad wasn't able to go out and buy you a card makes me even sadder... Even if they (the parents) are not with us until the end, they would still care if they were. I hope you're doing good these days. When's your next birthday?

[gregarious_introvert]

^ My next one is sometime before the end of this year! I've always kept my birthday hidden on the t'interweb, except one year when I had a Facebook account (I don't any longer, I have yet to find a use for social media), thought my birthday was hidden and discovered that it wasn't when someone here started a birthday thread for me. However, my next birthday is a very ordinary one but after that, I will "unhide" it and now that I am making friends for the first time in my life (I have three, of which I am very proud!), I am hoping to have my first-ever birthday party in 2021, for my 60th (it will have to be a small party, given that I live in a one-bedroom bungalow and I'll also have to invite my neighbours, but it will still be a historic event).

Dad cared, he just couldn't get a card. Every year since my parents left London in 1986 (I didn't leave London until 2001, when my mum died and I became Dad's carer) their card used to include a cheque for £12 (symbolic, one pound for every month of the year) and I didn't get a card, but I got my last cheque in 2010.

What made it worse, that year that I got given notice on my birthday (I've actually lost two jobs and one relationship on past birthdays!) in 1992, was that where I worked (HM Home Office) had a a tradition whereby people would bring cakes in on their birthday and I had made a black forest gateau and a brandy alexander pie (cheesecake) and taken them in!

Thanks for the thought, go and enjoy your birthday!

[Sisyphus]

Happy birthday,

[Dougella]

Happy Birthday

A partner, friends and family who remember your birthday sounds like just the right amount to me, you obviously have people around who love you and care about you which is the most important thing