Turning Down Work

Formershyguy · #1 31st August 2022, 08:51

My current job is ending today but my boss has said because I've done such a good job she will give me a good reference and there may be more work in the near future as she didn't want too lose me.

But now I have updated my CV I have had a couple of Agencies contact me as soon as I updated my details. Just now I had a call from one of my regular agencies and the woman on the phone was going through a list of roles that I felt were unsuited to me like reception, calling people, answering the phone and a load of other responsibilities. I feel bad having to say no to all of those jobs but I can't just take a job that I know will make me unhappy and stressed just to appease someone I don't even know.

But I did make it clear to her what type of role I have had and even gave her an example of my last long term role where I was there for 3.5 years.

Right now I'm going to try and do some reselling on ebay as well as continue with surveys and other things.

I would love to find a job where I can just stay there til I retired where the work was easy. Don't even mind if its repetitive as I can switch off. Ideally working from home, part time or working really close to home. Or if I could find a job like my last long term role that would be wonderful, with nice friendly people too. The pandemic messed everything up!

Dougella · #2 31st August 2022, 09:14

I think it's ok to turn down things that you know will make you stressed and miserable, otherwise you'll end up doing work that will negatively affect your health.

I hope you find something soon, it sounds like you'll have a good reference from your current work.

mancman71 · #3 1st September 2022, 08:04

I finally submitted my resignation due to extreme anxiety. I know I could not have continued working but now I am hit with extreme panic. I don't know what to do now. I'm frozen in fear about the future.

Dougella · #4 1st September 2022, 09:28

^ Do you feel you might be able to find a job that you could do from home? Or alternatively you can speak to your GP about being signed off due to your mental health and look at what kind of benefits you might be able to claim? (I know that's a scary thought but there is advice and support you can get.)

Formershyguy · #5 1st September 2022, 19:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by mancman71

I finally submitted my resignation due to extreme anxiety. I know I could not have continued working but now I am hit with extreme panic. I don't know what to do now. I'm frozen in fear about the future.

Hey I feel for you. I have been there many times. Walked out of roles because I wasn't comfortable or just couldn't handle the work.

I'm trying to get into reselling. Do you have savings? I'm sure you can get Universal Credit.

Also I'm looking into finding remote work so this would mean not having to go into the office.

I was lucky to find this job as I ended up with an office all to myself and hardly any people around but it feels better that way because I will interact with people on my own terms and not feel self conscious working in a big open plan office where people are having their own private conversations.

mancman71 · #6 1st September 2022, 19:39

@Formershyguy Hi...I won't be able to apply for any benefits at the moment as I have savings.
I think it will be some time before I will be able to manage to get back into some kind of work but it will have to be a role that doesn't involve too much interaction and less responsibility and that I can switch off from when I finish work at the end of the day or night.

Bored · #7 3rd September 2022, 22:47

^ you might not be able to claim benefits , but you should look into it as I think you will get your pension contributions paid.

mancman71 · #8 4th September 2022, 09:00

@Bored Yes I need to see what I can do. Possibly speak to Citizens Advice or Mind. The thought of going through the process of filling in forms etc and being put on a back to work program. The last time I was in this situation it caused so much much anxiety.

Bored · #9 4th September 2022, 10:04

Have you been to your doctor about your anxiety? Most job centres should have a person who helps people who have anxiety and other issues,and there maybe an organisation near you who help people to find work, good luck.

mancman71 · #10 5th September 2022, 06:38

I have been battling anxiety and depression for around 30 years. I'm also an outpatient at the hospital. I saw the p-doc there last month. My next appointment is in 2023!
I really don't think I'm in a position to work at the moment things are that bad.
Also I'm trying to taper diazepam.

Bored · #11 5th September 2022, 09:55

You might be able to claim Employment and Support Allowance (ESA)

Formershyguy · #12 14th September 2022, 17:29

Just had a call from an Agency miles away who have read my CV and think I'd be suitable for this role. They left a voice mail. I don't know whats wrong with me as I haven't called them back and I did email them back asking for a job spec but she said they have been asked by the company to speak to candidates on the phone.

But I hate having to deal with the guilt of turning down work. Because I know sometimes Agencies can be a little manipulative and may hide details or make it appear like the job is perfect for you when it isn't. They did say the client wants someone with Data Entry Experience but the title is "Technical Records Administrator" which makes it sound like theres a lot more responsibility.

Atleast when I search for a job myself and apply for it I feel I have a bit more control. Thats how I found my last job and my last long term job was through an Agency I had worked for for many years.

Bluebear · #13 15th September 2022, 08:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by Formershyguy

Just had a call from an Agency miles away who have read my CV and think I'd be suitable for this role. They left a voice mail. I don't know whats wrong with me as I haven't called them back and I did email them back asking for a job spec but she said they have been asked by the company to speak to candidates on the phone.

But I hate having to deal with the guilt of turning down work. Because I know sometimes Agencies can be a little manipulative and may hide details or make it appear like the job is perfect for you when it isn't. They did say the client wants someone with Data Entry Experience but the title is "Technical Records Administrator" which makes it sound like theres a lot more responsibility.

Atleast when I search for a job myself and apply for it I feel I have a bit more control. Thats how I found my last job and my last long term job was through an Agency I had worked for for many years.

Amara 94 · #14 15th September 2022, 08:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by Formershyguy

Just had a call from an Agency miles away who have read my CV and think I'd be suitable for this role. They left a voice mail. I don't know whats wrong with me as I haven't called them back and I did email them back asking for a job spec but she said they have been asked by the company to speak to candidates on the phone.

But I hate having to deal with the guilt of turning down work. Because I know sometimes Agencies can be a little manipulative and may hide details or make it appear like the job is perfect for you when it isn't. They did say the client wants someone with Data Entry Experience but the title is "Technical Records Administrator" which makes it sound like theres a lot more responsibility.

Atleast when I search for a job myself and apply for it I feel I have a bit more control. Thats how I found my last job and my last long term job was through an Agency I had worked for for many years.

Try not to feel guilty. They donâ€™t feel guilty if they overwork clients or take advantage of them.

Amara 94 · #15 15th September 2022, 08:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by mancman71

I finally submitted my resignation due to extreme anxiety. I know I could not have continued working but now I am hit with extreme panic. I don't know what to do now. I'm frozen in fear about the future.

Iâ€™m thinking of going back to a job where I donâ€™t need to deal with the public as much after my holidays in a few weeks time. I find my current job looks good on the outside compared to other jobs that Iâ€™ve had but itâ€™s a bad fit for me.

Formershyguy · #16 15th September 2022, 14:10

Just seen a couple of jobs online which could be perfect. Both paying good money. One isn;t too far away from home but what gets me stressed is that both call for accuracy and I feel that if I get something wrong I would get shouted at and not being able to ask people for help face to face could cause problems.

The other job is working from home but it seems a little vague. They're both Data Entry roles but this one might need certain skills. So I'm not sure what to do. I have savings but it would be nice to make some money to replenish what I've already spent.

I have enjoyed doing Data Entry work but sometimes there can be issues with that even. That job I left was pretty easy enough and I was able to ask for help by email. But i did panic because I had made a mistake and there was a deadline.

What I like is when a company has a backlog of work and they need someone to sort it whether that be Data Entry or filing or scanning. Having deadlines would stress me out. The remote job, I guess I could apply for and maybe I might find out more about it.

Dougella · #17 15th September 2022, 14:24

^ How about emailing about the second one and asking for more details about the job? You have experience of that kind of work so it may well be something you could do.

Bluebear · #18 15th September 2022, 15:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alone.

Try not to feel guilty. They donâ€™t feel guilty if they overwork clients or take advantage of them.

I agree

Formershyguy · #19 30th September 2022, 16:08

I've just looked at a job on the reed website and could be ideal but I'm apprehensive as one of the requirements is having good interpersonal skills. This could mean anything like having to use the phone or being able to contribute to discussions in groups. Its actually for a permanent job and its Hybrid working so it could be working from home maybe 1 or 2 days. I'd love to work one day in the office and the rest of the week from home.

I also see the job is about 20 miles away so if it is Hybrid working I could just about do it. I should be applying for jobs like this but I'm scared I'm just getting too used to now working again as I have some savings to rely on.

To take the pressure off my spending I've started doing Mystery shopping tasks, keeping up with my online surveys when they come through, Ebay reselling and Psychology experiments.

I guess if I apply for this job atleast I would get an interview possibly and get a feel for the role and the people. And if I get a sense I wouldn't fit in, I'll just have to sabotage it a little so I don't get it.

biscuits · #20 30th September 2022, 18:25

^ That sounds ideal :D

Go for it. It might be just the right level of challenge for you.

Formershyguy · #21 3rd October 2022, 14:30

Ok just applied for the Data Entry role I saw on the Reed website. Its hard to really know what the company is like to work for unless I go there. When Agencies tell you about a job they will try to make it sound amazing and even say things like "they're a lovely company to work for" but it might be lovely for someone who doesn't have social anxiety. Although I'm not that bad but it depends on the people.

biscuits · #22 4th October 2022, 20:35

^ definitely. You get a feel for the place and the atmosphere gives you good/bad vibes.

Fingers crossed itâ€™s the right place for you

Formershyguy · #23 7th October 2022, 15:19

I've just seen another job and it might be ok it it weren't for the journey. Its working for an Academic Publishers. Its working 4 hours a day which sounds nice just data processing. And the pay seems alright but its about 15/20 miles and I know the traffic will be crazy busy at that time in the morning.

Its also working through an Agency I worked for many years ago. As far as I recall my last job ended on good terms as I had found something else and just never went back to them.

The job would be for 2 months but could go on for longer. I remember the last job i quit was in that same general area and part of the reason I quit was the distance.

Ideally I would like something closer to home. I wouldn't mind travelling 15 or 20 miles if I could get the train as I used to work for a few places where I could just take the train. I would get there early and chill out in a coffee shop. But with these bloody strikes it makes it hard!

I guess I'll keep looking.

Formershyguy · #24 11th October 2022, 14:45

Just seen another job and its working from home but what puts me off is the fact they have said you need to be 'incredibly accurate". This makes me a little anxious and I think it might entail some responsibility.

Still trying to decide whether I should apply for the part time Data Processor job. 4 hours a day sounds nice and it would only be for 2 months but sometimes I've know jobs to go on longer and sometimes I haven't wanted it to go on longer because either i wasn't enjoying it, didn't feel like I fitted in or the work was too boring or it was too far to drive.

Its also been over week since I heard back from the other agency for a job I applied for. I might just assume that the company didn't like my CV as there are a few gaps.

I have enough money to live on for atleast a year but hate seeing it going down. So in the mean time I'm doing Mystery Shopping tasks, surveys, Psychology studies and even some Market Research Interviews. Infact I have another one this week. Its not a full time income but it is helping me put the breaks on my spending.

Broncobill · #25 13th October 2022, 18:27

Hi there,

I'm in a very similar position to you. I have severe SA, been unemployed due to that, depression and low self-esteem for a long time.

I'm a former Software Engineer/Tester and have zero confidence of applying for jobs, due to fear of rejection or if I get it, having to stop due to SA, it's awful.

I hope the job apps went well.