When you get older and most days it's just you

AuroraSky · #1 21st May 2023, 13:40

I got the news today that both organisers have stepped down from a peer support group I went to quite regularly. With my SA I certainly couldn't volunteer to organise it, and I doubt anyone else will step forward either as I think Meetup.com charges the organiser/admin £20 a month in fees. My online social life is good through Discord and Chatty Cafe Scheme Zooms but my in-person one is decidedly thin. enjoyable but infrequent. I can enjoy going to a coffee shop or arthouse cinema alone, and when focus permits I can enjoy a book. I put all my eggs in too few baskets though so this peer support group ending is a bit of a blow, I can't deny it. If you are solo and middle-aged, can I ask how you fill your days? It feels like I should be either be watching more films and being a film buff or reading more books and being a bookworm but I don't actually spend nearly as much time on those activities as people think.

Mr. Nobody · #2 23rd May 2023, 21:25

Sounds like you still have a few good things you can enjoy to keep things interesting, and keep your days active,
Have you tried looking for another local support group or another similar meet-up group?
Sometimes there are local drop-in centres which could fill a gap?

I know there have been many successful drop-in support groups for people in the peer group you have mentioned.

I know there is one in govan that teaches people handicrafts etc.
I think there's a few of these "Men's Sheds" around Scotland
https://scottishmsa.org.uk/

But there are many other similar groups, especially for solo middle aged males I think.

AuroraSky · #3 24th May 2023, 04:55

Thanks for the reply. I did find a couple of potential things by Googling "drop in support group southside glasgow". I also have so many unread/ unwatched books and DVDs I could be getting through, which I bought on impulse after reading very positive blurbs, that I just never got round to yet. Maybe if I figured out a way to make it more of a "movie night" at home e.g. with a bit of cheese and a glass of wine, I would get myself into the swing of things. Likewise with reading it might just be figuring out the best time of day to read and getting into the habit of reading. So many people are very busy and their only time to read is on the train commuting to work, that I should consider myself fortunate to be wondering how to fill out more time.

Mr. Nobody · #4 24th May 2023, 09:34

^

yea, that's a positive way to look at it Aurora, it is fortunate to have time for these things,
as you say, so many people are living such hectic lives that they don't have the time to enjoy something like a good book.

I looked into those men's sheds and they look very helpful places to go to,

there's that one in Govan i knew about,
there's also one in East Kilbride and one in Gorbals that I noticed.

AuroraSky · #5 24th May 2023, 21:15

These Men's Sheds seem great at filling a void for men who might be widowers or alternatively those who are retired and had most of their friends at the workplace, since those friends can disappear upon retirement. I had a look at the web site out of curiosity and it seems they often do good works such as making furniture for good causes in the community. I don't know how it could work money-wise but I can't help thinking there must be a lot of people who would have been mental and physical healthier if they were working four days a week during their working age, and maybe doing things like Men's Sheds or swimming on the extra day off, rather than to have to wait until retirement to have to time for things. Of course, in places like London with crazy rents, people spend so many days of the month just putting a roof over their head that maybe a four day week is impractical.

Mr. Nobody · #6 24th May 2023, 22:19

^
That's odd,. I always imagined they were more aimed at people who had emotional or mental health issues of some sort or another,
A place where they can gain some form of non-judgmental social interaction and acceptance that might otherwise be missing from their usual routine,
Maybe it's a bit of both,..

But I guess that if it's mainly elderly retired clientele then it might not be suitable for that many people

AuroraSky · #7 28th May 2023, 16:56

Oh you could well be right, I've never been to one, only ever seen little YouTube videos and such. In terms of support for people with mental health, anecdotally it seems like there's a few allotment or urban gardening groups that people get referred to who might not be exclusively aimed at them but are quite inclusive.

Not sure how many people in this section of the forum are 50+ rather than 30+ but there is a fairly reputable online community for the 50+ called Stitch.net . I am trying it for a year but won't renew as it costs £50 per year and there doesn't seem many in-person meets near me.