#61
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Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious
^ thank you for the encouragement i thought i was just talking to myself here.. didn't expect anyone to join in my monologue lol
i took a pill so i'm now invincible will let you know how it goes tomorrow!! oh and thanks for the help with the content, i changed it to something along the lines of what you said as i think it works much better |
#62
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Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious
I am glad I came across this as at university, the thought of presentations terrifies me. I will refer back to it when the time comes and try to benefit from your advice. I was hoping to conquer them without meds but I am not entirely confident and it is mentioned here. You seem very confident and excited about presentations in a way, I get the impression you do really well. Do you still and always use medication for presentations?
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#63
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#64
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I find giving a speech to a lot of people much easier than talking to a few in a group socially. As long as I know my subject reasonably well and inject some comedy am normally OK. I can also see how some comedians are socially anxious but do fine on stage.
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#65
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Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious
Thanks black_mumba, great advice!
I've got to do a presentation for a job interview next week and I only found out today so only got a week to prepare. ;/ If anyone has any specific advice for job interview presentations (because obviously I can't check the place out beforehand or who is interviewing me etc.), then that would be much appreciated. |
#66
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Just found out I'm going to be doing at least 4 presentations this year at Uni
One of the inconvieniences of choosing a course related to business. |
#67
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Good luck guys and gals!
I create and produce presentation materials / graphics - I also produce conferences (form a technical and creative point of view) - whihc involves rehearsing and running clients presentations. I can give a presentation to a degree - always get a bit uptight but usually get thru - had a bit of bad expereince on a pitch a few years back - totally fluffed it but hey ho! I dont give presentaton regulalrly so dont feel able to offer good advice from that point of view - but do feel free to throw any questions my way. I alos do video work - love being behind the camera - put me in front of it and yikes! |
#68
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embark on doing some video work myself, plus Im based in the east midlands as well! Much better behind the camera, I agree! Brought new camera tonight so quite excited. What sort of video work do you do? :-) |
#69
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Hi BM
Good luck with your venture - happy to help out in any way - advice / collaboration somoene to bounce ideas off. What camera have you bought? and what are you looking to do. I run a small production company -video production -conference / event production/ staging and audio visual / presentation production. Here's a few recent jobs to give you a feel of waht we do: - promo video for a localmhire car comapny (bentleys, vintage rolls, lonond cab, limos etc) - product demonstration videos for DIY company (sounds like StanLea)!! - promotional video for a high school - filming of an academic symposium about Trabnsal;tion acrosos cultures in Mediation - internal annual conference for a staffing agency - powerpoint screens for businnes plans for clients' clients - dvd production for local new media company So pretty varied - i enjoy it because I think visually and it comes to me easily - so Ican take a client 'verbal' request and create an 'audio visual' response. Happy to talk, chat ideas. |
#70
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Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious
Hey BM (and anyone else who's reading this thread),
Just to throw in my experience as a public speaking coach who has worked with a number of people suffering from Social Anxiety. As an easy, supportive and safe way to start public speaking I can really recommend the Speaking Circles method. It was developed by Lee Glickstein to combat his fear of public speaking. There are lots of details of how to use this method in his book Be Heard Now, which is available cheaply on Amazon. If you're lucky there may be group near you running courses. I've watched this way of working take people from a state of being terrified of public speaking and hating it to actually enjoying it - which is quite a journey. And it can happen faster than you might imagine. Good luck! Daniel Kingsley Communication Coach and Facilitator Presence Training - Confident speaking from the inside out |
#71
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I have a bit of public speaking dilemma. I am teaching a uni course this term. I am quite nervous by this... It is quite a high profile course with nearly 200 students, I've done some teaching before but not on this scale...
Anyway, I am not require to, but have been (mildly) encouraged to get the students do give group presentations. I don't really want to. I should just about (fingers crossed) manage to pull off the lecturing, but I find the idea of organising and running group presentations to be quite daunting. I have also always thought that I would never do this, because I know how terrifying it is for some people. I only had to give one presentation as an undergraduate and it was a traumatic experience. I have had many similar traumas since, but with the odd success thrown in. On the other hand, I know that the best way to beat the fear of public speaking is to stand up and do it. Not that I've beaten it, I hope I am getting there. So maybe I am doing a disservice to the students by not asking them to do this! |
#72
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Thanks for the link.
I cant ever imagine myself doing such a thing. Id like that to be different but my SA gets so bad, its a case of...No ways Pedro's. :/ |
#73
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^ Ain't a link, I wrote the guide myself.
I can imagine you doing a presentation. In fact, judging by the determination and persistence in your progress diary I can imagine you wrestling an alligator whilst simultaneously painting the Mona Lisa. Seriously. You got all the ingredients for recovery. Just keep going. |
#74
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^
This thread has given me the idea of going on a public speaking course. Gonna start searching. Ps/ exchange the words 'alligator' for 'Hendricks' an I'll be a happy man. |
#75
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Ah cool. My public speaking course was forced on me by my old employer. It was really good stuff except the bit where we were filmed doing presentations then had to watch the videos and critique each other. I was blushing like crazy. Interesting enough, so was everyone else! Every hated this part of the course, even the extroverts.
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#76
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#77
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What do you suggest if you're fully prepared, have tried breathing exercises etc to calm down and the physical symptoms (trembling, lips quivering, shaky voice) just won't go away?
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#78
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#79
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Appreciate your honesty. I remember a humiliating incident at high school which I could have avoided if I'd just wagged, which all my instincts told me to do. But for some reason I decided to face my fear, had read a number of books on public speaking, had breathing exercises prepared and was convinced it would help. I got up there (just had to say a prayer) and I was the only one who trembled the whole time. No-one laughed but I got a lot of stick for it afterwards. I think you're right ay, some people just aren't meant to be public speakers.
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#81
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#82
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Yeah it was many years ago now and I don't even see anyone from high school any more so it's not really a problem. It's still there in my memory though as a reminder of how uncontrollably nervous I get and I definitely avoid public speaking because of this and other similar incidents. I'm hesitant to take medication as I know a few people who've had really bad experiences on it and say it's not worth the risks. I study by correspondence because I can't face doing presentations or even introducing myself in tutorials without shaking and it's guttering because I always seem to be the only one with this problem...anyway, didn't mean to go on about myself, we all have our crosses to carry etc. The modern world just seems to be fully against people like us, as if we have a huge disadvantage from the start...
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#83
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Just found this thread. Public speaking, for me, highlights how differently SA affects different people. My wife (who also has SA) goes to pieces when she has to do a presentation as part of her degree course ad has always had a real issue with public speaking. But she copes with face-to-face interactions better than I do.
I lecture several times a year on hobby topics because I enjoy it. BUT I turn into a complete basket case if someone in the audience invites me for a meal and I actually have to interact with them at a personal level. The 'deal' on the amateur lecture circuit is that someone from the host group will offer a meal at their house or out at the group's expense as a courtesy. I always decline as I'd much rather eat alone. |
#84
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Wow great guide very informative. I had to do weekly presentations for 3 years. I was a shaking stuttering nervous wreak the first few months.. Kept going and no issues at the end. So I completely agree practice is needed.
Social anxiety treatment/self help was needed before I could do the course.. From not wanting to leave the house and talk to anyone to social speaking is a huge step. I took loads of little steps to get there. |
#85
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Good stuff Black Mamba! I got back into teaching after acquiring SA disorder and having a longish period of unemployment. So I had to go right back to square one and try to re-establish my ability to talk in front of a lot of people. It's tough but it's possible.
I didn't read everything you wrote as it was so long.... so you might have covered this point. A really useful preparation before public speaking is to use 'positive affirmations'. Essentially it's a calming technique that that primes your sub-conscious mind. Before you get into the room, just talk to yourself: 'This is going to go well.... they are going to like me.... they are going to find what I say interesting... they really want me to succeed' etc. The weird thing is that you don't even have to believe what you are saying... it still has an incredibly bracing effect. I found it made the difference between being really scared and being reasonably at ease. Of course you still need to do all the techniques and preparations you mentioned. But over time, doing a presentation becomes a lot easier as you become more confident, and you find that you need to prepare far less. But a quick recitation of positive affirmations is still worth resorting to if you feel apprehensive. |
#86
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One thing that can help, is to look up and look around at the people in the audience. I've got a tendency to just stare at my notes or the PowerPoint screen or only keep looking at one person on the front row (which must be weird for them) and not around at all. It always helps when I look around.
I remember I once had a uni presentation at about 3 in the afternoon. I went to the pub at 11am, drank pints and vodka & coke until about 2.30, and went in to the presentation brimming with confidence!! Obviously I'm not recommending that though! |
#87
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This guide has really given me confidence to do better next time for a presentation.
I think when I smile at the audience, and they smile back, that gives me confidence and my anxiety goes away quite a lot, it shows they are friendly faces. |
#88
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So glad to hear that it helped you. Aren't smiles awesome? They're just a bunch of friendly people and most will be hoping you do well and feel comfortable. To me, a smile from the audience says that. |
#89
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The posts were absolutely excellent!
The only thing I would add is visualising yourself doing the speech successfully at least once a day (get as detailed as possible) to get it really entrenched into your subconscious. . |
#90
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I remember showing up for Toastmasters thinking it was just a business networking event. Should have done my research. Networking is one fear I've thankfully overcome over the years, but public speaking was a whole new ball game. I had no time to prepare. You literally have to stand at the front and talk. My subject was when I'd succeeded at something in life, so I just talked about quitting my job and starting an online business. I stammered and ummed all the way through it, and people's eyes bored into my soul. But nobody laughed or jeered. All I got was support, and Im sure if Id gone back the next one would have been better.
If public speaking is a goal of yours (and it should really be for all of us social phobics), then I recommend giving Toastmasters a try. Just maybe ask to watch the first time if you're not ready to jump in the deep end right away. |