Never learnt to drive

[Marie8]

Anyone else here never learnt to drive? I had lessons when I was 17 and again in my early 20s but I hated it, it caused me so much anxiety and I wasn't very good at it. I never actually took my test, I booked it and cancelled the day before! I'm the only one on my family that doesn't drive and I always feel embarrased telling people I dont drive. My family keep saying I should learn again but I don't know whether I could. I was so akward sitting next to the instructor and also really struggled with the maneuvers, I found it hard to judge where I was on the road and felt very under pressure and panicky when driving. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to learn.

[Dougella]

Yes I'm the same, I did have lessons but I wasn't a natural driver at all and it was very anxiety provoking.

I don't think you should feel pressured into trying to drive if it's not something you feel comfortable with. Only try again if you really want to and you can find an instructor you feel ok with.

[anxiouslondoner]

I passed my driving test but I've hardly driven since. That was ten years ago now.
I live in London and don't need a car, but I feel that I'm too easily distracted to trust myself behind the wheel, even if I did manage to focus enough to get a pass on my second attempt.

[Merry]

I think it takes a long time after passing a test to drive comfortably, I don't think anyone is competent for a long time (because it takes a long time for the mechanical part of driving to become second nature which then means you can focus more on the surroundings, initially you are trying to focus on the road, the surroundings and actually making the car work and it's a lot!)

I'm glad I can drive because I live in a rural area, but if I lived somewhere with good public transport I probably wouldn't, because roads are so busy and it's very tiring. I don't drive into cities or on long journeys, I much prefer the train.

It took me a long time to learn (I passed in my mid twenties after sporadic sets of lessons with a few different instructors) You shouldn't be embarrassed about not driving, lots of people don't for lots of reasons.

[Scurrilous Rumour]

The trouble with not driving is it limits your options. From finding jobs to finding a partner, everything is made easier if you can drive and have a car.

[Laurel]

I had 3 driving instructors. The first one I would say put me off driving. The second one was cool as hell, just got me straight onto the main roads! Then the third refined my skills to pass. And now I’m an assertive driver and moan about other drivers lol.
(Though I don’t like motorways)

[biscuits]

It took me ages to learn. I find it really hard for my hands to do be doing two separate things and then you're throwing feet into the mix. Gah! It tried when I was 17 and found it too hard and then tried again when I was 19 or 20. It took me a year or so to learn. I passed first time.

These days I'm fairly confident at driving on any roads, but I find driving nearer to London a bit stressful. I prefer to get the train for longer journeys.

There's no shame in being unable to drive, especially if it's not essential to you. But if you feel like it would be beneficial then as Devil said you can find instructors that help with anxiety and I'm sure they would take you to quieter places to build up the basic skills. That's what mine did.

The buzz you get from finally learning and overcoming the anxiety is amazing.

[humphrey]

The one thing with learning to drive in the UK is, you don't learn to drive you learn to pass the test. You only really learn to drive after you pass.

For those who complain about co-ordination, try giving a verbal commentary of everything you see, are thinking and are going to do as you drive. When you first try to do it, it boils your brain until you get better at it.

Driving is rubbish now compared to when I started 40 years ago, too many cameras, idiots and money making fines.

[Hopeforme]

that's a good idea about finding an instructor who can deal with driving anxiety.

i am 31 and can't drive.

anyone else feel societal embarrassment from this? i have had some eye problems and vision problems due to my mental health which are genuine, but i still feel ashamed. but trying to own it.

[Laurel]

Why should you feel embarrassment. It is as it is. Lots of places to rent or buy are cheaper when you don’t have to drive.

But if you can learn, it’s worth doing. I didn’t pass until early 30s.

[EmotionalPumpkin]

I'm 32 and haven't yet learnt to drive. I've managed fine so far, and clearly the world would be a better place with fewer cars on the road.

As long as you don't need to pester people for lifts too often I think you're doing everyone a favour by not driving