What's the longest you have gone without socialisng?

[VeryQuietGuy]

I went to the cinema with a school friend on July the 19th 2009 and then I didn't socialise until the 7th of May this year on a work night out that I actually enjoyed because I got on well with my co-workers and I was very drunk.


The fact I can remember the dates that I socialised is quite depressing for an 18 year old.

What about you?

[Median]

In the 18-20 period It was my least social. I think it might have been maybe a good 6 months at one point lol.

Gotta laugh about it now, but I really wasn't ready to be social at the time.

[karl-32]

3 years

[black_mamba]

Originally Posted by abc2

It depends on what your defenition of "socialising" is.

Was about to type the exact same thing.

If you just mean being around others....or interacting with people for the purpose of enjoying their company...?

If it is the latter then I didn't socialise between age 5 (well I can't really remember much before that!) and 17. I was horrifically isolated and anti-social. I didn't go out with others, I was never invited anywhere etc etc.

Oh yeah, good times. No wonder I prefer being alone these days.

[SoulSeeker]

Apart from some minor interactions and two days out..one with dad and nephews..the other fishing with a friend last November. Actually socializing (activities, nights out, etc)..11 years.

[mossieman]

6 mths & counting

[Andrew]

There was a period between 2003 and 2005 (can't give a more specific date) when I think I went 3 or 4 weeks without leaving the house. It probably screwed me up but I was content in my own bubble at the time...

[i_like_mittens]

I'm not sure, 2 years.

Between the age of 17 and 25, I could probably count the times I went out with people. The joys of agoraphobia...

[Alex76]

Not counting family related stuff, I'm currently in my longest period of time with no socialising.
Last proper socialising I did was when I went to a wedding in April last year, so that's 16 monthes now.
I did go for a couple of nights out in Manchester last summer, but went on my own and didn't mix with anyone, so don't count that either.

[HardRockGlamour]

Three years, unless Mikey doesn't count - which I don't think he does really - in that case... four years.

[Dandelion10]

Yeah I was going to say it depends on your definition of socialising.

I never actively seek to be part of social situations now, in fact I don't really go anywhere unless I 'need' to or want to such as to see my CBT therapist Sue or to work each evening.

I wouldn't choose to get ready and attend a party, the last time I did that was New Years Eve and I embarrassed myself to the point where if I see some of the people I went with around town, they spot me and then look at each other which I hate but I try charm my way back into their circle if they decide to come say Hi.

That's the thing, I don't just fear embarrassment-sometimes I DO embarrass myself quite spectacularly through fearing it.

"It probably screwed me up but I was content in my own bubble at the time". True!

When my family go on holiday I stay home and I love it but it's probably bad for me. Sometimes I don't know what helps or hinders cos if I go to the bank of something after staying in for a whole week I feel no anxiety but if sometimes if I stay in a whole week I'm a nervous wreck when I go out.

[auster]

About 12 years ago, when staying in a bedsit in the southside of glasgow, i went 2 weeks without talking to anyone ( i was on holiday the work) a very depressing experience.

[Winnie57]

I don't really know because a lot of the times I have 'socialised' I haven't really 'socialised' because I didn't feel part of it.

[SoulSeeker]

Online chatting/intercating is not socializing. Just thought I'd throw my opinion out there.

[black_mamba]

Originally Posted by Quiet bloke with cow

Indeed. It's like saying writing a letter to the council is socialising with them.

LOL! In which case me and the JobCentre are best buddies.

Online discussion forums are socialising and I don't see why they wouldn't be.

[SoulSeeker]

^ yep

[no0ne]

i was on about people who say their not currently socialising should have put that in a bit more clearly.

[HardRockGlamour]

Ahh, I misunderstood!



Internet chatting being a form of socialising is, I guess, down to opinion, though I like to think of it as socialising...

[Alex76]

I don't count posting replies to topics of interest on here as socialising, but that's just me.

[VeryQuietGuy]

Originally Posted by abc2

It depends on what your definition of "socialising" is.

I was meaning going out with friends or things like that.

[Alex76]

Originally Posted by VeryQuietGuy

I was meaning going out with friends or things like that.

That would be my definition of socializing aswell.

[Lost Soul]

I'm honestly not sure. I went a very long period (about 13 years) when I had no genuine friends besides those I made online, although I was educated and went to college in that time, but still I had no real friends I knew in person.

So, erm, does my 13 years count? Is there a prize? Do I win? :trophy:

[Mr. Spaceman]

Originally Posted by VeryQuietGuy

I was meaning going out with friends or things like that.

By that definition 18 years for me, from June 1990 to September 2008

[Lost Soul]

Damn you Mr Spaceman, and I was in the lead too.

[SoulSeeker]

Originally Posted by Lost Soul

Damn you Mr Spaceman, and I was in the lead too.

It's really good how you can find your wasted years funny and you can have a laugh at it Lost Soul.

For me..I find my wasted years absolutely devastating. The damage that has been caused is even more devastating. Being left without a personality and no interests whatsoever is soul destroying.

I still cannot believe to this very day..how or why I avoided life so much for such a lengthy time. I never really realised the impact it would have..or I would've seeked help a long time ago.

Socializing to me..is organizing or being part of..and actually looking forward to things that make us happy 'in the flesh'. So..for me yeah 11yrs..apart from those two occasions...jeez I really cant believe that. No wonder I feel alien and still dont believe I'll ever function properly again..never mind hold onto a girlfriend. I hope I'm wrong. What a complete and utter waste of life and a perfectly fit human being this has been so far. Terrible.

[Phantomy]

Since June 2000 I have had 1 social gathering with workfriends in 2008

In June 2000 I was 15 still at school and I was out with school friends. After school ended I simply retreated into my 'comfort zone' and avoided everything. The social thing I was doing was drinking alcopops on the park, getting drunk and having a laugh (as kids do, its not like they can go to a pub like other folk is it?) after that I jumped off the wagon and let it dissappear over the horizon a long time ago :P

The social thing in 2008 was a retirement 'booze up' and a meal. I was anxious for weeks beforehand but it went well in the end, I only drink socially (haha!) so I wasn't used to the booze but it helped me to relax and enjoy the evening and in the end I forgot half the night because I had too much, I could not remember getting home but somehow I made it

[Lost Soul]

Originally Posted by SoulSeeker

It's really good how you can find your wasted years funny and you can have a laugh at it Lost Soul.

I find having a sense of humour about it all has been very important in maintaining my will to live, not to mention my sanity over the years.

I hope you don't think I'm not taking this seriously enough though, I am aware of the serious psychological implications of so many years of isolation. What you say about the impact it's had on you sounds very familar to me and I share your pain.

Hopefully in time we can all find a way out of this often miserable life of isolation and become the people we've always wished ourselves to be, socially confident and anxiety free.

[black_mamba]

Originally Posted by Lost Soul

Damn you Mr Spaceman, and I was in the lead too.

I can beat that (sortof), by the OPs definition I never went out socially until I was 19 so you could say 19 years of no-socialising but that depends if you're willing to accept the early baby years as a missed opportunity to be social.

SS don't see it as a waste. Sure it's not a good thing to feel as if you could've lived your life a different way, but you can't change the past so you need to stop beating yourself up about it mentally otherwise the future will just be a repeat of that crap.

[The Lone Stranger]

The last 23 years apart from the odd occasion.

[SoulSeeker]

Originally Posted by black_mamba

SS don't see it as a waste. I certainly don't. Sure it's not a good thing to feel as if you could've lived your life a different way but you can't change the past so you need to stop beating yourself up about it mentally.

To be honest mamba..I dont really beat myself up about it. Im sure yourself and others who know me fairly well on here..know I can have a laugh at myself and I can see the funny side of a bad situation. I also believe 'what has happened has happened' and there is no point going on and on about something that has already happened and cannot be changed.

What really eats me up, leaves me despairing, confused and leaves me hopeless..is the damage that it has caused. I dont really know how to undo it? I dont have a personality and I hold no current interests...and even more so..knowledge or passion about anything

I mean comon..everybody knows something about something dont they? They have knowledge of at least one thing that they can talk about..whether it's interesting or boring..they still know things about it. I cant even give you directions to streets in my town..never mind have any knowledge in something I've shown interest in.

Think about this right. I meet a girl sometime next year for example. What do I talk about? I dont know anything at all about tv/film, culture, books, music, people, etc blah blah. Im soo thick like this..I mean seriously what do I do..how do I tackle this?

Im working on my BDD/SA...trying to tackle my appearance..mirrors..lighting..angles..etc. But those things aside..it's the personality thing that kills me and scares me. I never realised I'd be sitting here right now..so empty, lost, shallow and hollow. I hate being like this..a complete blank of a human being.