Facebook?

moneysaver · #1 29th January 2011, 04:41

Sometimes I feel as if I'm the only person in the world who has never used facebook. Is it mainly for the young?

I may be missing something but I can't see why I would want to put photos and other details of myself online

I don't have any friends to add and it seems to be people just amassing huge lists of friends

How do other older SA sufferers use, or not use, facebook?

no0ne · #2 29th January 2011, 06:14

i had an account for ages, kept looking at it and seeing what others were up to now i've deleted it total waste of time unless you're really that interested in what people you never see are up to.

Kitri · #3 29th January 2011, 08:01

Not into facebook. I like my privacy so why would I post anything on there. Don't want people from the past or present looking me up. 'Don't call me, I call you!'

Phool · #4 29th January 2011, 08:22

I joined last year mainly to keep up with political groups. Then I subscribed to my local council, newspapers and charities and got invites to lots of local events and I even went to a couple. And its an easy way to keep up with family abroad. I don't actively use it, I only open it up if I get an email saying I have a message, usually about once a fortnight.

westie11 · #5 29th January 2011, 10:48

I am signed up to facebook but rarely go on it any more.
I soon realized it was a waste of time. Quite frankly don't care that someone I haven't spoken to since school has just made a souffle!
I think it is mostly used by younger people. I find it a shame that kids
feel that they are only socially acceptable if they have hundreds of friends and post every little detail about themselves on line.

Deepest Blue · #6 29th January 2011, 13:23

I use it for keeping in touch with people that I don't see anymore for whatever reason. I don't use the applications or utilities FB has, I just use it like I use my email.

catlover · #7 29th January 2011, 13:28

I've never had an account on Facebook, as I don't like the idea of judging people by the number of friends they have, and because I'm a private person who doesn't like the idea of exposing personal details about myself to the world.

Deepest Blue · #8 29th January 2011, 13:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by catlover

I've never had an account on Facebook, as I don't like the idea of judging people by the number of friends they have, and because I'm a private person who doesn't like the idea of exposing personal details about myself to the world.

Yeah I'd agree with that, I think i've put far too much info on mine, I should just trim it down to just pictures of my cute cats and kittens lol

Phool · #9 29th January 2011, 14:29

My personal info is at absolute minimum. I don't even have a photo on there.

I also ignore friends requests from people I went to school with.

Use it like email and have a take it or leave it approach with it and its fine.

Deepest Blue · #10 29th January 2011, 14:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phool

My personal info is at absolute minimum. I don't even have a photo on there.

Use it like email and have a take it or leave it approach with it and its fine.

That's how I am going to configure my account. I think you can make yourself unsearchable as well I think.

mattty · #11 29th January 2011, 15:20

I'm on facebook but i don't use it the way most people do, i went through a phase of posting the odd 'status update' but i don't do that anymore. I also set my privacy so that no one can find out anything i wouldn't want them to know!

I look upon it as a kind of address book really. Plus its an easy way to keep up with news of your favourite bands or tv shows or sports teams or whatever.

catlover · #12 29th January 2011, 18:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phool

I also ignore friends requests from people I went to school with.

I would worry that the person I've ignored is a sensitive person who will take the rejection personally. I'd prefer just not to deal with the issue.

moneysaver · #13 30th January 2011, 20:25

Thanks for your responses. I now feel better about not signing up to facebook.

I can see it might be useful for following organisations and famous figures etc, but I'll continue to just use Twitter for that without worrying about my privacy.

I do think that it puts unnecessary pressure on younger people to demonstrate how many friends they have and how successful their life is. This could surely make their social anxiety and depression worse

Sea · #14 30th January 2011, 20:53

I actually like facebook, because it means I can keep in touch with a few people without having to pick up the phone or meet with them. That said, I have deleted two or three previous accounts for various reasons and its taken me ages to get to the point where I am comfortable with using it. I just use it as an option not to have to phone people mostly, lol. You can make your account totally private, and its up to you how you use it. I hear a lot of people complaining about it, but really, in my opinion, its a tool that you have absolute control over and you just have to make it work for you. For me that meant creating a new email and making my account completely private so there was zero chance of school acquaintances etc finding me. I have only one picture on there. And I rarely post. But I like the fact that I get daily news updates from a lot of the organisations that I am interested, and can keep in touch with colleagues in a quick and easy manner and without having to speak with them

Only_human · #15 30th January 2011, 23:09

You can hide your friend list you know so people won't necessarily know how many friends you have on your list. I think there's an option under privacy settings.

Quote:

Originally Posted by moneysaver

Thanks for your responses. I now feel better about not signing up to facebook.

I can see it might be useful for following organisations and famous figures etc, but I'll continue to just use Twitter for that without worrying about my privacy.

I do think that it puts unnecessary pressure on younger people to demonstrate how many friends they have and how successful their life is. This could surely make their social anxiety and depression worse

Cinderella · #16 31st January 2011, 01:40

I'm in my early twenties and have thought about deleting or deactivating my profile becuase I m abit ashamed my life has become so boring in comparison to my peers who aren't socially anxius- I feel quite self conscious like people are judging me based on what they see -I would agree that there is pressure to maintain appearances etc. It annoys me that I seem to have given into the pressure nainly because I don't wanna feel so cut off from the world? Sometimes I'm inspired by what my friends do with their lives and what they say/where they stand on political issues- it's just like here except I prob wouldnt share my most innermost thoughts and feelings on there...it's just a way to pass the time and read news updates of all my fave newspapers/interests

Wisher · #17 1st February 2011, 11:23

I use facebook. It has helped me feel less lonely by putting me in touch with people I haven't seen for years. It can feel quite risky, but I'm happy to share things about myself. It's easy to build up a list of 'friends' on there, people have different approaches, I don't think you can judge people by how many 'friends' they have, I have a list which is composed of old schoolfriends,(I don't turn people down unless I have no idea who they are, because I don't like hurting people's feelings), people I chat to on other forums, people I play some online games with, plus I've joined various groups and keep up to date with issues and political campaigns that I am interested in, it has made me something of an armchair activist. I think it's great for people with SA because it is so much easier than actually having to communicate face to face.

nessa456 · #18 2nd February 2011, 22:32

Be very wary of joining activism-type Facebook Groups - I had a real experience the other night after joining a group to protest about the killing of a kitten by a girl in Birmingham who had thrown it out of a towerblock window.

We were initially all being very righteous and angry about it and we managed to make contact with some of the people on her FB friends list who gave us more information. The girl who owned the kitten started sending annoyed messages via my FB page and I was relaying these back to the group. The following day I had hundreds of group messages to trawl through and discovered that in my absence they'd decided I was really the girl who'd thrown the kitten masquerading as someone else (ie me!) and they'd turned on me! It was ridiculous and quite disturbing - a real lynch mob mentality.

So I left the group and several people sent me messages of support saying they never thought I was this other girl and that the main mover behind their turning on me was totally out of order.

So it was quite a sobering experience! I'm not joining any more FB groups after all that!

I agree that they are a good way of bringing people together in the name of a particular cause but there can be some
people who are just in the group as an excuse be nasty and others who will try and subvert the group towards their own agenda.

Mr Ploppy · #19 18th February 2011, 05:08

Anyone else fed up with the silly games on there.
There's two people who regularly include me in games which are then posted on my wall. I've never taken part in any of them and just ignore it, but I feel bad doing that.

catlover · #20 22nd February 2011, 13:21

Just watched The Social Network on DVD. Quite a disheartening depiction of status-seeking youths, especially in the upper class.

Now I know that I don't want to ever join Facebook.

mrwindupbird · #21 22nd February 2011, 15:22

i have an account but i dont ever update it, and im very selective about who i add.
would be nice to delete it but its one of the only ways to keep in contact with an overseas friend.

Sadie · #22 22nd February 2011, 19:39

it is nice sometimes to see at a glance what people are up to when I dont get time to text....(because I reread texts a zillion times before i send them and get upset if i dont get replies...lame!)

teabelly · #23 23rd February 2011, 20:58

I can't decide if I am a fan or not .. I have recently re-activated my account. I go through phases, sometimes I feel very happy and a 'devil may care' attitude and want people to see my quirky side so I post status updates about my day, other times I feel so bloomin' boring and uniteresting compared to other people that it makes me quite depressed and seems to actually encourage negative thoughts about myself. Sometimes I reflect and think 'oh no! what would so and so think when they read that?!!!' I think, in general, I over think things, period!

zork · #24 7th April 2011, 09:07

Ah facebook - where show offs can show off even when they are not in the company of people.
I have about 80 'friends', well when I say friends I mean people who have used me as a statistic to boost their number of friends thus making them appear even more popular with the people who's opinion they value.
I remember when I first signed up for facebook and got bombarded with friend requests, I thought ' ya know,maybe Im not as dull and uninteresting as I imagine and maybe people really do like me and I need to make more of an effort' then I saw a few of my facebook friends in the street and they ignored me ( actually said hi to one girl from school and she acknowledged me whilst giving me a wierd look)
I do update my status occasionally but I may as well be sending messages to extraterrestrial life in some far flung galaxy billions of light years away cos I seldom get a response.
However one reason why I would recommend signing up to facebook is 'scrabble'. they have a brilliant free online version were you can just have a great game with other scrabble enthusiasts

ZeniX · #25 7th April 2011, 10:01

I use it alot, anyone whos listed as a friend on it pretty much knows everything about my day to day life and whats going on (they don't know the real anxious me) but they could prob tell you when my son was in hospital, last time I had a kfc, where im working today etc

tmi prob! you often hear the term "yeah I read that on facebook...".

Eklipse · #26 7th April 2011, 11:33

I don't use Facebook. When I signed up two years ago it was only to keep up with certain Hollywood news. I couldn't take part in the activities unless I had a FB account. Then when I opened an account using my rl name, I felt so exposed and nervous. I ended up looking for old friends and family, seeing nearly all my former schoolmates on it. I contacted one woman who used to be a girl in my class. She wrote back saying "who are you?" I deactivated my FB. Now I don't see a purpose in it.

Johnni · #27 11th April 2011, 22:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitri

Not into facebook. I like my privacy so why would I post anything on there. Don't want people from the past or present looking me up. 'Don't call me, I call you!'

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snooker Paws

I use it for keeping in touch with people that I don't see anymore for whatever reason. I don't use the applications or utilities FB has, I just use it like I use my email.

I guess this shows the 2 sides of Facebook.
I think it is very useful to keep in contact with people you knew from way back and also finding them and getting back in touch. Its basically Friends Reunited built in.
On the other hand it also means people can invade you privacy and see what you are upto even if you hardly put up any info.

catlover · #28 12th April 2011, 12:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by zork

I remember when I first signed up for facebook and got bombarded with friend requests, I thought ' ya know,maybe Im not as dull and uninteresting as I imagine and maybe people really do like me and I need to make more of an effort' then I saw a few of my facebook friends in the street and they ignored me ( actually said hi to one girl from school and she acknowledged me whilst giving me a wierd look)

Ha!! That's a great post. So they want you as an imaginary friend on Facebook to prop up their friend stats, but when the prospect of a real friendship arises (i.e., one that involves actually spending a bit of time together) they're suddenly uninterested.

Gotta hand it to Mr. Zuckerburg; he's figured out a way to make billions off of the narcissistic status-seeking tendencies of the masses.

jenny4 · #29 14th April 2011, 01:45

I have a facebook account I use sometimes. It can be good for promoting your business and keeping your customers up to date with your products, but on a personal level, I find it a bit "in yer face"!! I'm quite a private person, so don't feel comfortable broadcasting everything I do to anyone, close friends or not!

I've always found talking on the phone a bit difficult so I'm not someone who likes to chat away for hours just for the sake of it! I suppose facebook is just another way of communicating and an easy way to get in touch with a number of people at once, but it's a bit intrusive for me. I prefer email and a decent online community (usually art/photography-related) and the phone if I must! :-)

disdain · #30 14th April 2011, 11:34

I was on Facebook for a year or so but gave it up for many of the reasons on here. I do find it bizzare that some people you speak to are like 'what? You're not on Facebook?'. It's just some computer program made by some guy. It isn't real. All I was ever doing was nosying at other peoples daily crap which I didn't really care about. I'd much prefer to spend my time doing something 'real' that I enjoy. Trying to get out more etc. Email is fine for me (and this site obviously!)