How do you make friends with girls?

[*Starla*]

I can't do it. I don't know why it is. I can get on with men fine, can have a laugh take the piss but with women it seems that something else is required and I'm trying to put my finger on it.

Maybe they require you to be the same as them? Like make up, clothes etc. Mind you I can do that. I say mad stuff sometimes and maybe this is what makes women think I'm a bit daft

Plus I reckon I tell them too much cos I'm not sure how to be friends with them so I just talk and talk and talk and maybe its too much information?

I mean I have a couple of female friends and one of them is like really cool cos she's mad and talks crap too and says what she thinks and does conform to a feminine mould (ew that sounds gross).

So I don't know is it me thats causing me to be able to make friends with girls or is it that I just don't meet any that interest me.

Plus I reckon girls judge me too so I feel like I have to put on an act rather than be me to avoid them rolling their eyes (possibly imaginary I don't know if they do this).

[Wheelie Bin Bird]

I have the same trouble, I can't seem to 'bond' with other women Unless they are older than me for some reason?

I've always been better at getting along with blokes too, I just feel more relaxed round them, I feel as if women my age 20 - 30 are far too judgemental.
Like their looking me up and down I'm not one of these girls that spends 3 hours straightning her hair and slapping on 3 inches of make up to go out.

Maybe coz I'm a sloppy tomboy at heart! I dunno

[Mis fit]

Yeah i kno wot u mean, i often think this that other girls just get on and i feel like i have to try too hard with some, and u find that it seems you will approach them to say hello and have a chat but they never come to u? Yet they go up to everyone else. I think it feels like with some girls you never kno where u are with them. Dont get me wrong, theres some that i really get on well with and can relax with, but with others i just cant relax enough to think they genuinely like me, its strange

[marbles]

hm, i got the opposite problem, always have been able to make friends really easily with girls. got a couple of bloke friends but just find it way easier to talk to women and get on with them. weird innit?

[Pal]

I get on with both sexes equally.

[W!llow]

I don't get on too well with people who are obsessed with all the superficial stuff either. I do think its important to give people a chance though not to judge them on the fact they look plastered in make-up or whatever the case may be. Sometimes I've looked at people to start off with and made judgements and been surprised they are not like that at all and then maybe thought for instance a barefaced woman is going to be more intelligent/interesting and she has been more superficial in the way she talks etc.

Having said that I don't find it easy either.

Hey ya Starla

Perhaps it may have something to do with what your interests and hobbies are. Also what kind of humour you like and what you find funny, it all adds up, for example, if you like a laugh in the same way lads like to have a laugh, maybe some ladies find this off putting where as you're open to not minding either way. I know i'm not a typical guy in which although i get on with everybody, i don't like getting drunk and being overly loud, i don't like taking the piss out of people to make others laugh although i do like banter, but in a nice way, not a vulgar way like what blokes in pubs do, and i don't like talking about women in a trashy way (eg, look at the tits on her, and i bet she gives good *you know what*) type talk just isn't my thing and i would find that offensive, yet some blokes would think i'm strange for saying what i just said.

You would get on my with sister, most of her mates are guys, she doesn't generally like the company of women although she does have a few female friends, she's more of a geeky type person but not overly geekly, she's very deep & intuitive, factual, likes to explore stuff, is very intelligent, has great common sense as well as a great sense of humour and sees the best of both sides rather than seeing the negatives all the time. My sister doesn't like to gossip and would always be there for people when in need rather than knocking them down when suffering. I think shes absolutely lovely, and i think you have similar characteristics to my sister.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by W!llow

I don't get on too well with people who are obsessed with all the superficial stuff either. I do think its important to give people a chance though not to judge them on the fact they look plastered in make-up or whatever the case may be. Sometimes I've looked at people to start off with and made judgements and been surprised they are not like that at all and then maybe thought for instance a barefaced woman is going to be more intelligent/interesting and she has been more superficial in the way she talks etc.

Having said that I don't find it easy either.

I have to admit i'm a bit quick to judge on peoples looks, for example a mate of mines been seeing this girl for about the last 2 or 3 months. She's very attractive in a materialistic type way (think Sarah Harding of Girls Aloud as a comparison). Usually when i see a girl like that my natural instinct is to assume she'll be narrowminded, overly materialistic and judgemental but after meeting her and actually speaking to her she isn't that bad. She is materialistic but in a reasonable dose, she's not narrowminded and has so far been very pleasent to talk too.

*slaps self on wrist for being too quick to judge*

[Winnie57]

I have met you *Starla* and I think you are really nice

I've never been able to make friends easily, never really had close female friends since childhood.

I suspect I'd find it easier to make friends with SA females as I might have more in common with them than regular females.

[ßazzaOld]

As a guy I find it alot easier to talk to woman. Some woman think you are chatting them up? and act weird (Maybe they ar just nervous. ) but most the time I just want to be friends. Those who understand that and drop their ego or whatever I get along with alot better than I would with guys.

Guys talk about sex and tits alot and gives on my nerves. Some woman are like that too though.

How do I make friends with woman? Or perhaps in my case guys.. well I just do. Some people I like and some I dont. I dont know how to say it really but when it comes to woman I find them more appealing so I make more an effort. Guys I find less appealing so I make less an effort? Find them less interesting to talk to.

I have had say around.. 5+ really good or best friend woman but only maybe 1 guy who I would consider to be a best friend in the past.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by ßazza

Some woman think you are chatting them up? and act weird (Maybe they ar just nervous. )

Why are women so threatened by blokes chatting them up/flirting with them? Is it that they're afraid of weird stalker types or is it just that they're overwelmed by the attention?

[ßazzaOld]

Originally Posted by Pal

Why are women so threatened by blokes chatting them up/flirting with them? Is it that they're afraid of weird stalker types or is it just that they're overwelmed by the attention?

^^Thats not a small question. As a quick reply I need to get going.

I think most woman just feel they need to protect themselves because they feel a bit threatened yeh. I imagine there are alot of guys out there who want to use them.

I do flirt with some woman but only once I know them and more for the fun of it. It brakes the ice and I find it to be a sense of humor? Like its easier to make friends if your having a laugh. Its a personality thing too and some woman like it while others dont. I wouldnt flirt with someone I didnt know but only once I knew they didnt mind the attention or the laugh.

Another big reason woman might feel freatened by guys is well.. they might be nervous because they are nervous. Cant expect all woman to be confident and flirty back. Some might secretly like you but not feel able to respond appropiately. As a guy I might see that as 'not being interested' but maybe instead thats just my sa thoughts and she is simply nervous/shy. Even insecure about herself.

Maybe innervision will suddenly appear and make all our brains ooze out our ears due to his amazing ability to explain things.

Anyway im having a bath cos I stink.

[hiddenperson]

I kind of have this problem too. Although actually I find it hard to make friends with females OR males. But I would love a close female friend that I could talk about things that are important and close to me. I just kind of... don't connect well to people in general.