Panic

[*Daisy*]

I have to go to work focused interviews every 6 months because I'm a single parent who claims income support.
Today I've had a letter saying that my next interview will be a group interview with other parents.

What the hell do I do, I can't walk into a crowded room filled with strangers.
This has filled me with so much panic.
Any help would be welcome!

[colliver19]

Hi Daisy

I would simply phone them up and explain the situation. The worse they could do is say you have to attend with the other parents, in which case you could get a doctors note explaining about your anxiety problems. I am sure if you explain over the telephone they will make allowances by placing your interview in a private room or something. I wouldn't panic!

John

[Zim]

Get there early. Be the first one, that way you won't have to walk into a room full of people. And you'll see them arriving one by one which will give you time to adjust.

[Nikkos]

Yeah get there early and try to put a brave face on in the end your just the same as everyone else! I know its hard tho sitting there while everyone looking at you or so we think , i really hate the seats where your face someone and they face you i normal jump up and go on one of the job points untill called.

But try not to worry my friend just think when your walking in you only have to do this once and thats it for six months.

Good luck mate let us know how it gos

[Thorn]

Daisy,

Believe it or not I work for the Dept of Work and Pensions and know quite a few people that work in jobcentres including a few lone parent advisers. They absolutely should not force you into a situation that is going to upset you so much emotionally. They are supposed to be helping you into work not deepening your mental health issues. But you will have to be absolutely honest with your adviser about your SA. If you try to cover up the truth they will assume you are trying to get out of finding work and force you to attend anyway. The staff I know would certainly try to find a way around it for you if they believe what you say and a doctors note would certainly help.

A word of warning though, they may bring up the issue of how you would deal with group interview sessions that a lot of employers are starting to use now. Tell them you are getting help and perhaps ask to speak to their DEA.

If you want, I'll call one of the lone parent advisers I know on Monday and see what she recommends.

[*Daisy*]

Thank you all for your replies, it means a lot

There's no way I can do this group thing, usually it's 1:1 and I take my mother with me as I have problems going out by myself.

I'll have to phone them up on Monday and tell them I can't do it, this will cause more anxiety because I'm scared of using the phone too.

I just feel so pathetic and depressed because I should be able to deal with these situations, but I just can't and then my depression kicks in, I'm truely useless.


Thorn,thank you for your post, they know I have bipolar and anxiety, it's in their notes. I don't see why I should go to the meetings because I'm actually signed off sick by the dwp, being a single parent isn't the reason why I don't work, but they still call me every 6 months.
My psych has said I'm not ready for work yet, but he'll support me to do voluntary.

Thanks again
x

[Thorn]

A lot of these appointments are booked as standard without delving into each individual's notes. The software will raise a flag that an appointment needs to be booked and someone will see that and arrange it. They often don't check things like mental health issues. I'd like to think that if they fully understood your situation they would be happy to cancel it but you need to let them know. Maybe your Mother could call on your behalf. You'd need to speak to them briefly to give them permission to speak to your Mother but that should only last a few seconds.

Ask your Mother to give them a call for you on Monday and please let me know how you get on.

[Rae]

Originally Posted by *Daisy*

Thank you all for your replies, it means a lot

There's no way I can do this group thing, usually it's 1:1 and I take my mother with me as I have problems going out by myself.

I'll have to phone them up on Monday and tell them I can't do it, this will cause more anxiety because I'm scared of using the phone too.

I just feel so pathetic and depressed because I should be able to deal with these situations, but I just can't and then my depression kicks in, I'm truely useless.


Thorn,thank you for your post, they know I have bipolar and anxiety, it's in their notes. I don't see why I should go to the meetings because I'm actually signed off sick by the dwp, being a single parent isn't the reason why I don't work, but they still call me every 6 months.
My psych has said I'm not ready for work yet, but he'll support me to do voluntary.

Thanks again
x

You are not useless!! You are not well. Would you expect a someone to run a race with a broken leg? I think the advice of getting your Mum to ring up and explain is the best, I used to do that. If you were able to do these things then you wouldn't be signed off sick in the first place. I know it can be frustrating, but this will get sorted so try not to worry. Voluntary work sounds like a good idea, I'm doing that myself at the moment. I got an interview in a women's mental health charity where I know I will feel comfortable and they will understand, maybe something like that would be a good start for you?! Will be thinking of you x

[Nikkos]

I would watch the job center as they claim to want to help you but they just treat you as another person who doesnt not want to work and they see it as there job to force you back in to work.

Also they look at people not wanting to go as trouble makers or someone who is skiving

Ovii not the case with you but thats what i get from them.

Sure everything will be ok with you

[*Daisy*]

Thanks again guys for the help

Thorn it's a good idea what you've come up with.


Rae, I'd love to know more about where you're volunteering, it sounds like something I would enjoy doing, I've just got to pluck up lots of courage and make that first step, it's hard when I haven't worked for such a long time, I've kinda forgotten how to be around people!

x

[Rae]

Originally Posted by *Daisy*

Thanks again guys for the help

Thorn it's a good idea what you've come up with.


Rae, I'd love to know more about where you're volunteering, it sounds like something I would enjoy doing, I've just got to pluck up lots of courage and make that first step, it's hard when I haven't worked for such a long time, I've kinda forgotten how to be around people!

x

Hi Daisy,
I found it through the Volunteers centre's website in Bristol, Hopefully they should have one in your area? The interview is with a Charity called Womankind. I haven't worked for years and years either hun so don't worry you're not alone. I'm petrified too! I think the main thing is your desire to do it regardless of your fear which will be your driving force to get you through this. It's taken me a good while to pluck up the courage, so don't give yourself a hard time! If you ever need any help, support etc, let me know x

[*Daisy*]

I'm going to brave and phone the jobcentre myself, my stomach is in churning with anxiety, but I'm going to do it, I hate using the phone!
Just 20 minutes to go until they open...

[Thorn]

Well done for being so brave. Did you do it? How did it go?

[*Daisy*]

I did it
I wrote down what I was going to say so I wouldn't be flustered.

They are going to give me a 1:1 interview now.
What a relief!

[Rae]

Well done Daisy!! Think it's really impressive!! You could have got your Mum to do it for you, but you sorted it out yourself and now you not only do you not have to worry about it anymore, but you can also give yourself a pat on the back. You go girl

[*Daisy*]

Thanks rae

[Thorn]

Yes, well done Daisy. I'm so pleased for you. That was very brave