How is everyone feeling? (31)

[Tonkin]

Originally Posted by Aleks

Yes the county council have asked the government if they can close all schools. Why they can’t just order this themself I don’t know....

I think the government can sue them if they don't stay open:

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/ent...a?guccounter=1

[Amara 94]

Interested about some job offer but I don't even know if I have gotten the job. I was interested because for once it is a slow paced job because we are dealing with high priced items.

Before this I was feeling a bit sad because I was thinking or feeling like I was treated unfairly by certain people. Weird how a small thing can change the day.

[Percy]

Originally Posted by Kooky Monster

Really sad. Think I may have just seen my dad's cat for the last time

Despite best efforts, the fluid is collecting around his lungs again. Breaks my heart that if my dad has to make the decision, he won't be able to be with him when he goes because the vets aren't letting anyone into the practice due to this stupid outbreak. You'd think they'd find a way to make an exception for that - perhaps a room just for that purpose. Other vets are allowing clients in with their pets for regular appointments so it seems extreme and somewhat cruel.

Sorry to hear that kooky

[Mo34]

^ I'm sorry to hear that Kooky

I'm glad though you and your dad both got to spend time with Charlie and your dad was able to be with him.

[Tembo]

Really sorry to hear about your Dad’s cat Kooky. Pets are part of the family in my opinion so must be terrible

——————⠀”

My brain feels like it will explode. It has been a very uncertain few days with huge amounts of constant change, with life in general and with work. I’ve now been furloughed too which is another change, and quite a big one too. Each day seems to be getting more difficult, and I’m worried about potentially permanent damage to my mental health, and undoing of past effort to improve it.

[Amara 94]

Sorry to hear that Kooky

[Blackflies]

Sorry for your loss Kooky. I had to put my dog to sleep last year. I can’t imagine all the added extra stress of being uncertain whether you’d get that extra time. No amount of time feels enough in the end.
.

A little lonely. My mum is quite depressed or just tired lately (not sure which, perhaps both). One of my longest friends is struggling and looking to me for verbal support at the moment. I feel a little like a fraud attempting to offer advise to someone when my own life is not exactly what you’d want yours to be.

[Percy]

Struggling to keep dark thoughts away atm.

[Tubbs]

^^ I hope you're okay, Percy Are you getting any help at the moment? Take care

[Toxic]

I despise health anxiety

or at least I hope thats what it is.

I feel bloody awful, I've pin pointed exactly whats wrong with me according to dr google as I have exactly the right symptoms. I'm still avoiding doctors, I wanted to go private for a heart scan but I can't bring myself to ring up.

I've been a complete mess for 2-3 months, I miss only having social anxiety - at least I wasn't convinced I was about to drop dead/need major surgery.

[Percy]

Originally Posted by Nanuq

^
be kind to yourself, Percy. Is there anything different you could do today to distract yourself? I know how hard that is at the moment

Originally Posted by Tubbs

^^ I hope you're okay, Percy Are you getting any help at the moment? Take care

Distraction is the key for me.

[Mo34]

I was feeling good. Had a nice relaxing eve yesterday etc.
Today I feel a bit meh. Been at animal sanctuary which was fine though frigging freezing. Got home to a letter from ATS summing up my Behavioural activation work (aka as a total waste of time as its about depression not anxiety) and discharging me from graduate Psychology service (or whatever its called). Supposed to be seeing some one for 6 sessions of anxiety work, she's obviously not a a graduate psychology person so God knows probably some idiot they've trained up in CBT in 6 months. So a total waste of f'ing time all in all.

What actually annoys me is that they promised me something different and got my hopes up - id rather they had just said go away than that. They are going to be getting some full on feedback that's for sure.

Think im over tired as well though tbh.

[Mo34]

@ kooky Oh that sounds awful, poor girl.

Harvey had flea allergy though it hadn't got to that stage he would sit on the tiles on the bathroom windowsill cause they were cool. I took him in to the vets and he had a steroid injection as well as a flea treatment and within a few hours he was feeling better. So hopefully yours will too. Hopefully she'll settle in at your dads as well, it might be nice company for him with his cat gone.

[Mo34]

Originally Posted by Nanuq

^^sorry to hear that Mo. It's hard to get any help for anything, especially now. I got a letter last week discharging me from mindmatters, because it was all online and I couldn't use it and we've been waiting a year now to see anyone for my son's OCD
Plus my respiratory appointment was cancelled indefinitely, though I do completely understand that that's because of the current crisis with covid and that the nhs needs all the respiratory staff for critical patients.

I get so defeated when it comes to trying to get any support, whether it is for physical or mental health. Plus people shout at me for not getting any help, as though it's my fault the nhs is so slow and as though I haven't already chased things up as much as I can.

Oh I'm sorry to hear that. They should be taking into account ppl who cant use online stuff. Even worse your son having to wait a year to be seen - that is absolutely disgraceful.

Yeah I know what you mean, my experience of the NHS isn't so much the slowness it's the constantly being fobbed off because I can string a sentence together, get dressed and am not frothing at the mouth which seems to be about the level to actually get anything of any worth. being labelled with a diagnosis of social anxiety disorder doesn't help either your immediately not taken seriously. They tried to palm me of to time to talk (as per the guidelines) and I told them firmly no. Been there done that bog off.
I'm doubly annoyed as I had to change doctors surgeries to access these ppl which I wouldn't have done had I known all I was going to get was the usual generic pointless CBT and a LP that can't be bothered to introduce herself.

[Mo34]

^ Hope it goes/has gone ok. Don't let them fob you off with its anxiety.
Lol I'm saying that yet I'm terrible for just going along with what they tell me :/

[Mo34]

Well, just got a phone call from ATS out of the blue to arrange my 6 sessions of anxiety stuff. From surprise surprise my original LP. The same LP that I was told had left the service, hence why she could no longer be my LP. I felt it was a lie then as certain things didn't add up.

But there you go, a wonderful service you can trust....

[Mo34]

Oh dear. I hate it when they take that attitude. I'm glad you got there in the end and are getting the ECG you need though.

Yeah I know what you mean sometimes I wish there was no mental health stuff in my medical records, it does no favours most of the time.

Your welcome - though I'm afraid i suspect I'm still being fobbed off. The 6 sessions are not what I was promised in July. I was promised a shrink appointment for diagnosis and either graded exposure if anxiety or something else if it was more AvPd. Instead I can only assume I'm getting generic CBT. Though I don't fully know. Though I will say I'm obviously not discharged from psychological graduate service after all as that is where my ex LP is from - so Gods knows! Just gonna take it as it comes, not till Feb in any case.

[Mo34]

Aww im glad Saffys feeling a bit better.
Terrible the cat sitter let it get so bad, poor Saffy. Do you think your dad might be able to take her? Least you'd know she had a good home.

Harv is still with me. Seems he's quite attached to me or my flat or the ready supply of felix crispies! He had to stay at sanctuary last week, thur to sat and he was so unhappy and oddly aggressive. Appears he hates other cats, growling, heckles the whole works! never ever heard him growl except seeing other cats. So I guess he's here to stay...providing I don't get caught by housing!

[newbs16]

^^^^^
I know that nurses play a vital role in gp practices but why do they give you an appointment with a nurse, when you should really be seen by a gp.

It really does annoy me that doctors and nurses put most things down to anxiety, also a lot of the time it takes a lot of courage to get anywhere near the doctors without them dismissing it and making you feel that you are wasting their time and in the media it all this ######## about your mental health is important, seek help and when you do they fob you off.

Sorry I could rant half of the night about mental health this and the other, most people don't realise what anxiety/depression feels like but now because it appears to be popular (in the media constantly) loads of people seem to have mental health struggles, i doubt they really understand... some individuals who have suffered day in day out for years, or even most of their life and it never goes away.

*please don't quote this post.

[Toxic]

Well after having a minor melt down at work (I feel I hid it well) and hiding in my car for the best part of an hour..I've finally made the call to get booked in to see a cardiologist.

This has happened before, I try to deal with a problem with googling it, trying the easier options, maybe the odd vitamin, change my diet up...get myself in a tizz for 2-3 months instead of going to a doctor like a normal person..then convince myself I've got to move now now now before it kills me..and proceed to spend thousands of pounds privately to skip queues.

Here I am again, only now I'm convinced my heart is knackered..tried to wish it away for 3 months, it hasnt..so now I have an appointment on thursday to see a specialist (Money aside I'm at least glad I'm dodging our NHS hospital as i think the covid rates are shooting up)

If it's not just anxiety, I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to cope..even the thought of getting an echo brings me close to vomiting.

[Dougella]

^ Good that you are going to see someone about it. It's probably not something serious or what you're worried about but much better to know if anything's going on than keep panicking!

[Mo34]

Originally Posted by Nanuq

oh no, sorry Mo, I misunderstood that. It does sound like you're being fobbed off. Once again the NHS is repeating the cheapest option instead of referring you on, it was the same with my breathing problems, I was given 5 x-rays over the course of 6 months, each one clear, but every time I went back instead of moving on to a ct scan, they repeated the same x-ray and bloods.
The day I got my scan booked I had had an x-ray 3 days previously and they booked me in for another one!!! Which I did refuse, but the doctor on the ward argued with me about it. They were going to just discharge me again, despite my bloods showing "very slightly" (as the doctor put it) raised d dimer, which indicates clots, when the staff changed over and I heard a more senior doctor say outside my room 'this woman's had 5 x-rays, she needs a scan'. I'm really grateful for that, and I didn't even meet him.

Sorry I seemed to have missed this earlier.
Yes, as always. It doesn't help that I don't have a comprehensive diagnosis, so they see sa, follow the NICE guidelines (which are shit) and so you go round in ever decreasing circles. It also doesn't help that I present as a high functioning person. So they view you as not needing any help.

Sounds like the senior doctor you had was one of the good guys
I had a similar experience many years ago. I was in hospital (for a physical issue not mental health) and was really ill - got discharged after 4 or 5 days, still very unwell and on my own. Course I just kept on going downhill and a few days later ended up having to get an out of hours GP out to my house in the middle of the night cause I couldn't stand up without feeling like I was going to faint, so he had to get an ambulance and take me back to hospital . This time, although I was on the same bloody ward I had a different registrar and consultant (the other one was still swanning about with the other patients) and he was sooo different - he was like your going to be here for at least 12 days. Even though after 6 or so I felt a lot better, he still insisted on the full 12. He also spoke to me like an actual human being as apposed to a problem to be gotten rid of.
It's all luck sometimes as to who you end up with sadly.

[Mo34]

^ yes thankfully there all in the past

-------------------------------

I'm a bit agghhh. Just had to message 3 ppl on f/b that i'm friendly with that are also service users of mind. Obviously my friendship with them stems from when I was a service user. But now I work for mind , following policy, I can't be f/b friends with ppl who are service users. So 1 person hasn't picked the message up yet. One is fuming (at mind not me) and the other who has already had to leave mind services due to changes in what we offer is upset. So all in all a good nights work on making ppl feel bad.

[Rocket Spud]

Well that's a bit crap, innit.

So one of the three you can remain friends with? How about if one of them, say for instance, started volunteering at the animal sanctuary? How would that work?

[Mo34]

Oh sorry no, all 3 I need to unfriend from f/b. Just one of them hasn't yet picked up the message.

I am however allowed to keep one person I go walking with sometimes as a friend as she's been viewed as a 'genuine' friend by the manager. Plus one s/u who sometimes comes a long with us just because he is such good friends with the other person. I've also been allowed to continue WhatsApp msging now and again one other s/u as I'm unlikely to come into contact with them via my work.

Tbh I doubt I can not be friends or friendly with the f/b 3 in the long term as if we make it back to normal times whenever I go to that town I'm likely to bump into them and the person I'm remaining friends with knows them all as well. It's very tricky....

If they started volunteering at the animal sanctuary there is nothing that could be done as it's a public place. I'd imagine I'd get a pep talk about maintaining boundaries.
Does make you laugh though - when I was a s/u I was actively encouraged to make friends, so I did. Now I work for mind i'm being actively discouraged not to!

[Rocket Spud]

But you said one of them had left, sooo..... still no?

Hmm, tricky indeed. I'm sure it makes sense if you knew how they came to making those policies. Maybe

[Rocket Spud]

^

I'm not feeling too great neither.

[Rocket Spud]

Meh, just my turn to feel crappy i think.. ? I am a bit cyclic with moods. Also been thinking about my parents divorce.

You? What's keeping you from slumber?

[Toxic]

I'll chime in with the health problems

I've convinced myself my heart valve is knackered as I've had problems for years, they shrugged it off as being "nothing to worry about" when I Was 18 and I legged it out of the hospital and didnt look back.

On reflection I should have pushed for some more answers.

Well it got worse over the last 3 month and I've tried to deal with it by ignoring it and its not working, I hope I've just got myself in some sort of anxiety spiral..I'm seeing a private cardiologist tonight and I'm terrified..I've barely ate in a week (I'm not sure the last time I've ever weighed so little)

Suppose I'll know something in 4hrs..

[LittleMissMouse]

Originally Posted by Toxic

I'll chime in with the health problems

I've convinced myself my heart valve is knackered as I've had problems for years, they shrugged it off as being "nothing to worry about" when I Was 18 and I legged it out of the hospital and didnt look back.

Snap, my dad had cardiomyopathy so I had an EEG/ECG - one of the things when I was a teenager and apparently have an abnormal heart valve movement, which they said was nothing to worry about so I didn't. I had to have another ECG a few years ago and it came up again and they didn't seem too bothered about that time either.

Hope it is nothing to worry about for you as well.