The Slippery Slope Of Isolation

[Lex365]

Hey Guys.

Lex here. I am semi new to the forums but I wanted to talk a little bit about isolation and how it has affected me.

Over the years my SA drew me to interests and hobbies where I didn't really need to interact. Ironically one of these interests was weight training and the gym. I did it a lot on my own, however over time I became more confident, more outgoing, my self esteem grew and I began to make a lot of friends. The place I went to so I could be on my own turned out to be the place I made most of my closest friends.

However its not the gym that has caused the problems I am currently having. Its my job. Over the years through work I have been able to function in a group. Make friends at work, be social, popular. Ive formed long lasting friendships at work, and also dated colleagues and co workers. My fear of people is highly irrational because I am actually pretty good with people! Yet because of some recent isolation, meeting new people and been around them has become harder than ever.

In 2009 I was made redundant from a job I loved. The job itself wasn't the most sociable in the world, in fact there were a fair few odd and peculiar people working there! But it was on a very busy street in the City Centre. I got to know people in the local stores and shops, even people I caught the bus everyday with. It was after that i began to really isolate myself, without even knowing I was doing it. I turned a hobby of playing online poker into a career. All of a sudden I didn't need to leave the house to work, only really for the gym and to see friends. At first I thought it was great! But after a few months the novelty wears off.

Over the last 5 years, without really knowing it was happening, I have become out of touch with the real world. I work when I want to. Pay myself when I want to. Get out of bed and leave the house when I want to. What initially was amazing is no highly damaging and destructive. My circle of friends hasn't really changed over the last 5-6 years, I hardly date and meet new people. Things that were just part of everyday life a few years ago are now a huge challenge and are fraught with anxiety.

I stepped onto that slope without even knowing, and I have slid a long way down it. I urge anyone who is gradually starting to become Isolated for whatever reason to nip in in the bud as soon as possible. The further you fall the harder everyday things are.

Thanks for reading x

[Ashtray88]

I have also been down this slippery slope. I don't think I have ever truly come out of it either. It seems like you have a good basis to get yourself out though, past experience of being social, a strong circle of friends, hobbies/interests. Maybe, for your sanity you could try to find a new job or maybe even join a temping agency? Also, have you tried online dating or local meet up groups? Of course, it's easy to say this stuff but a heck of a lot difficult to actually motivate yourself to do it and I don't know what to suggest with that... But if you don't make a change, then nothing will ever change.

[zork]

Hi lex, your career of earning money playing online poker sounds like a dream for me at the moment. Ive hated work all my life and even at this minute getting the blues about going back on monday. Sorry to hear you feel so isolated, it sounds to me like you really are quite a sociable character and an actual physical job is what you need. hope it works out soon