Embarrassing incident in the bank today.

[clyde33]

I was in the bank today. I felt stressed as there was a man standing really close behind me in the queue which i hate (i've already posted about this a few weeks ago) and i'm sure he was looking at my phone screen and reading my texts. I put my phone away in the end, even though it gave me something to fiddle with incase god forbid someone in the queue wanted to make conversation with me.

Anyway, when i was served i really couldn't hear what the teller was saying to me as she was behind the glass so i was trying to lip read and just basically nodded to everything she said (god knows what i've signed myself up for). She said something and waited for my reply, and i asked her to repeat it as i didn't hear. She said it again and i thought it was "go and have a seat" so i went over to the sofa bit and sat down. I then heard "excuse me, hello????" and people in the queue trying to get my attention and pointing at the teller. I didn't know what was going on, so i went back over (now in full view of the large queue who were watching with great interest) and she laughed and said "I said do you want a receipt?" - i had misheard it as something about having a seat. I felt so fu**ing stupid and i could have cried. She must have thought i was a complete idiot, and the people in the queue must have got a great laugh.

I'm never going back in there ever again. Seriously. Stuff like this always seems to happen to me. They're probably still all rolling around on the floor thinking about it in the bank.

Does anyone else find they lose the ability to hear clearly when a stranger speaks to them, or they hear but don't understand due to panicking?

[Stotch]

This is insane... not what happened (because nothing really did) but your reaction to it. Its actually scary tbf. Are you exaggerating or will you really never return to that particular bank again?

[Unnecessarily Long Username_1]

Originally Posted by clyde33

They're probably still all rolling around on the floor thinking about it in the bank.

Trust me, they're almost definitely not. They've probably forgotten already. Most people are too busy thinking about their own shit. Worst case scenario - they may have been momentarily amused. After that, they won't have given it a second thought.

It sounds like the kind of thing I regularly do. I'm very deaf, and getting progressively worse, so I spend a lot of time mishearing things or asking people to repeat themselves. Sometimes, rather than continually saying "pardon," I try to guess what they were saying and get it painfully and embarrassingly wrong. Unless their lives are somehow even sadder and more empty than mine, it's unlikely that they'll still be thinking about it an hour later.

[lone*star]

It could have been worse. You might have thought the cashier said, "Could you bring me some meat?"

Now if you'd run to the butchers down the road and brought her back a leg of lamb, well that would have been embarrassing!

[lone ranger]

Do your best to laugh it off. They're not gonna remember you anyways. Unless your George Clooney?
I think this is the irony of sa, you don't want to be the centre of attention but for some reason, in some ways we are almost so self obsessed or arrogant to believe that we are and that others have nothing else better to think about for the next however many months.
I can remember I went to get my hair cut, started having a bit of a panic attack just at the sweating/feelingsick stage not major, so got them to stop cutting my hair whilst I briefly went to toilet saying "I've just come over a bit funny". Came out, finished haircut and went. That was more than a year ago and I daren't go back.

[clyde33]

Originally Posted by Stotch

This is insane... not what happened (because nothing really did) but your reaction to it. Its actually scary tbf. Are you exaggerating or will you really never return to that particular bank again?

I'll probably leave it a long while before i go back and hope it's not the same teller. You found my reaction "scary?" Wow, i guess i must be an even bigger weirdo than i think. I just can't deal with such situations when they arise. Sorry.

[clyde33]

Originally Posted by HaveANiceDay

On the apparent deafness, I wonder if this is a focus thing? I find that for example when I'm reading a book on a bus and my focus is on the book, when I half-notice the bus stop announcements they can sound like really strange combinations of random words. So maybe if you are feeling anxious and inwardly focussed, something similar could happen. A quick net search suggests that apparent deafness is a common symptom of anxiety, for example as discussed here: http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/si...fected-hearing

Thanks for the link, i can relate to a lot of that!

[Custard_cream]

Originally Posted by clyde33

I'll probably leave it a long while before i go back and hope it's not the same teller. You found my reaction "scary?" Wow, i guess i must be an even bigger weirdo than i think. I just can't deal with such situations when they arise. Sorry.

If your weird, then I am too. I'd say avoidance following embarrassing situations is quite normal for someone who is SA...I avoid places even when I haven't had something embarrassing happen but I know that someone might try to talk to me e.g. the local chippy and always have ipod on whenever I go out. Your not weird at all. I know it'll be difficult for you to forget about, but everyone in the bank would have by now.

[Stotch]

Originally Posted by clyde33

I'll probably leave it a long while before i go back and hope it's not the same teller. You found my reaction "scary?" Wow, i guess i must be an even bigger weirdo than i think. I just can't deal with such situations when they arise. Sorry.

I don't think you're a weirdo at all, I can actually relate to your feeling of embarrassment. However I just wanted you to know how silly it is to feel embarrassed over such an insignificant situation. I didn't really explain myself properly in my first response but the reason I choose 'scary' as the word to describe it was due to the sense of deja vu. I felt the same way in the past, but now I know how I was afraid of nothing of importance.

But yea, one day you'll laugh at being worried over such an event but you're not weird for feeling how you felt.

[ghost.of.an.englishman]

it sounds like you're being very hard on yourself. Is it really fair or nice to think that you're a complete idiot because of something slightly silly you did in a bank? I doubt you'd form that opinion of someone else who made the same little mistake.

And yes I do relate. I often do silly things when I'm preoccupied and worried. I left the shop I work at the other day with the keys to the safe, and nearly took them home with me. doh!

[pheys]

I passed out in the bank once, that was really embarrassing.
now in regards to your situation; they had a laugh, they may tell close friends about the "deaf person" at the bank and here's the kicker. in one day they have forgotten who you are and what happened.

what happened 100% is super shit buuuuuuut now nobody cares. all of the cashiers in the bank have already forgotten about you

like the long username bloke said - they all have their own shizwiz to deal with, yours is a distant memory.

[Clayman]

I wouldnt be so concerned if they were laughing at me because I would probably laugh with them. I would get very upset and nervous if they got angry because I had inconvenienced someone who was in a rush or something.

Sometimes i cant hear properly, but I usually just ask people to speak up or repeat what they just said. When im nervous or anxious my hearing normally improves. The problem arises when i react to what they say in a bad way.

[jenny4]

I was in town shopping the other week after a particularly stressful day so was walking around in a bit of a daze and preoccupied with my thoughts. I was just coming out of WHS when I was stopped by someone raising money for the RNIB. As it was at the entrance to WHS, there was a lot of background noise from the shopping centre and I couldn't hear what the guy was saying. After a while, he just stood there looking at my blank face and seemed at a bit of a loss what to do. He repeated again "What's your name?" Which I finally heard, and then apologetically told him. It was a really surreal experience having someone talking at you for what seemed like ages, and not understanding a word they're saying. I went away thinking that guy thinks you're a right weirdo... couldn't wait to get home after that!

Things like this feel a whole lot worse when there is an 'audience', so I completely understand how you must have felt in the post office with the queue watching. I think the important thing here is no one would have thought anything bad of you that matters, and anyone with half a brain would have realised you just didn't hear the cashier. It could well be that the cashier wasn't talking loud enough, so should you be blaming yourself for that?

[Stotch]

It is important not to dwell on such events from the past...

[anxiouslondoner]

Do you think if someone was partially deaf they'd be laughing about them? No, unless they were extremely immature and intolerant, and if so the joke is on them. There are many reasons why someone might misunderstand: deafness, not speaking English well etc. The other thing to think about is SO WHAT if you had a misunderstanding? Worst case is they might make a jokey comment about it; you didn't try to rob the place at gunpoint or anything! It's not the worst thing in the world if someone thinks you are odd, even if they remember which they probably won't. If I worried about people finding me odd I'd never leave the house, cos frankly I am somewhat, but that's not a terrible thing.

[newbs16]

Next time it will be worth asking her to repeat herself and was it because you was listening to your music why you couldn't hear her.

I know it feels extremely embarrassing but most people in the queue wouldn't care what happened and doubt they would be laughing at you, hope you're okay now x

[Moksha]

Originally Posted by clyde33

Does anyone else find they lose the ability to hear clearly when a stranger speaks to them, or they hear but don't understand due to panicking?

Yes, I have experienced the same thing Clyde. A surge of anxiety + that fear of looking stupid or upsetting people etc seems to affect everything. It's not that your hearing goes, more that you are SO distracted by the anxiety you can't concentrate. I also find that the more anxious I am the more likely I am to say something unbelievably rude or clumsy. Just today a builder stuck his head in the house and asked to use the loo. I said, in an over-eager, anxious-to-please tone "help yourself"- I would never have said that if I wasn't so SA. I'd have just casually and calmly said "yeah, sure". 'Help yourself' sounded so inappropriate and odd. God I am so sick of this bastard disorder.

[silent_inspiration]

Originally Posted by clyde33

I appear to have developed a new symptom to add to all the others as a result of my SA and it certainly came to light today - Deafness.

I know i listen to my iPod quite loud, but i'm not deaf nor do i have hearing issues.

Until today, when i was at the bank. I felt stressed as there was a man standing really close behind me in the queue which i hate (i've already posted about this a few weeks ago) and i'm sure he was looking at my phone screen and reading my texts. I put my phone away in the end, even though it gave me something to fiddle with incase god forbid someone in the queue wanted to make conversation with me.

Anyway, when i was served i really couldn't hear what the teller was saying to me as she was behind the glass so i was trying to lip read and just basically nodded to everything she said (god knows what i've signed myself up for). She said something and waited for my reply, and i asked her to repeat it as i didn't hear. She said it again and i thought it was "go and have a seat" so i went over to the sofa bit and sat down. I then heard "excuse me, hello????" and people in the queue trying to get my attention and pointing at the teller. I didn't know what was going on, so i went back over (now in full view of the large queue who were watching with great interest) and she laughed and said "I said do you want a receipt?" - i had misheard it as something about having a seat. I felt so fu**ing stupid and i could have cried. She must have thought i was a complete idiot, and the people in the queue must have got a great laugh.

I'm never going back in there ever again. Seriously. Stuff like this always seems to happen to me. They're probably still all rolling around on the floor thinking about it in the bank.

Does anyone else find they lose the ability to hear clearly when a stranger speaks to them, or they hear but don't understand due to panicking?

Hey there clyde, haven't posted in a while but i just wanted to let u know there was nothing weird about what u did. u just misheard what she said, i have done this sort of thing many times especially when i got my headphones on. Once i had my heaphones on and my colleague tapped me on the back and i jumped like a scared cat( that was really embarassing but im pretty sure he doesn't think im weird cos of that). because of the nature of our social anxiety i think our nerves and state of mind make it difficult for us to concentrate and at times also concentrate too much, i feel there is no middle ground with me. but i have also seen many non-SA sufferers do the same thing as what u did in the bank. the one thing i am starting to learn about non-SA sufferers is that they really don't pay the same attention to details as we do and they don't over analyse their own behavior and overly-ruminate about embarrassing situations. non SA sufferers would not start to think they were weird. actually i was talking to someone the other day and i could not hear what they were saying so instead of asking them to repeat i just guessed what they were saying in the context of 1 or 2 words and gave a generic answer or sometimes i give them the panic smile. luckily my brother was there to bail me out when I paused and tried to think about what she said. a nightmare when u can't make small talk and then u don't understand the person talking to u.

Somebody posted they felt ur reaction to this situation saying that ur not going back to the bank again was strange but i completely disagree. its very normal for us to react that way or at least it it is similar to me. trust me the stuff i have done will even leave SA sufferers thinking i was weird. but the most important point to make is that the people in that bank who may not have been paying attention anyway (u'll be surprised) and the clerk would defo not care or even think about the situation. they would see ur behaviour as normal trust me. they would just think u misheard and not think give it any thought after a about 30 seconds.

i hope u understand my gibberish and please do not be embarrassed and avoid going to that bank. ps. i always get into situations where i start to panic when talking to strangers and mishear them.

[Ashtray88]

This happens to me all the time. I often get ear wax issues and sometimes it will get so bad I can't actually hear what people are saying and I get too embarrassed to tell them I have ear wax problems as I worry they will find it too disgusting, lol. You can get your ears syringed for free at your GP, you just have to put warm olive oil in your ears before hand(for about a week). You might not have ear wax problems though, it might have just been difficult to hear in the bank.

[endgame]

not unusual. it is a focus thing. I have experienced it, so don't feel disheartened.
It can happen with vision as well. You feel so stressed, you feel your peripheral vision diminishing.

if you went back to the same bank, the only person who might remember you will be the teller. all the other people in the queues on that day were randoms.

next time you think someone might be reading your texts over your shoulder, hit a reply to a friend, and text "I think there is a twat behind me reading my texts" making sure it can be read.