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  #301  
Old 10th November 2012, 23:38
Kevin Hodge Kevin Hodge is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

Quote:
Originally Posted by aVoice2use
^ brilliantly believeable bullsh*t
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  #302  
Old 10th November 2012, 23:38
Kevin Hodge Kevin Hodge is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

Quote:
Originally Posted by surelynot
Excellent.
lying? sarcasm?
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  #303  
Old 11th November 2012, 00:44
dace dace is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

At the end of 2001 space odyssey, when murmured "my god its full of stars!"

He was looking into gods vagina
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  #304  
Old 11th November 2012, 01:21
Kevin Hodge Kevin Hodge is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

^ this thread now belongs to you
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  #305  
Old 11th November 2012, 02:04
Mordant Mordant is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

This thread is the whole and nothing but the truth.
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  #306  
Old 11th November 2012, 02:31
Kevin Hodge Kevin Hodge is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

he left his phone in the basement when he was feeding me, i dont know what this site is (or what seth brundling is) but please call the police! i dont know how long ive been here, im too scared to really think it might be years. i cant talk because hell hear, i just hope the police arrive before he sees this but he might forget i mean he might think he posted this then forgot about it i know sometimes he goes back to the toilet because he cant remember if he shook it or not. is it still 2007 os is it 08 now? all this time he only feeds me eggs and he wont tzke my poo away! ohgod i thought i heard a siren there! hes coming now hes wearing the dress again please help my name is sean
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  #307  
Old 30th December 2012, 02:37
mossieman mossieman is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

the end of the world will be tomorrow

although one day that could be true!
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  #308  
Old 8th February 2013, 02:04
Kevin Hodge Kevin Hodge is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

water evaporates from the sea leaving all mineral content behind, over and over again this rinses all the nutrients out of the mountains, the nutrients being trapped in the bodies of fish. there is a tenuous balance right now where birds catching fish and crapping on mountains restores the mountain's mineral profile. however for many years bernard matthews has been selling seagull and albatross buttocks as turkey breasts, disrupting the flow of poop back onto the mountains. if this carries on increasing at its current rate of change, all of the worlds minerals will be bound up in the oceans in fishes, and it turns out that using the average mineral/water ratio in a fishes body, this will also use up all the world's water. there will be no seawater as such and the intercontinental cavities will be completely filled with squirming scaly bodies. you can do your bit to avoid this frankly smelly prospect by once a week eating a fish and the following day voiding the digested remains on a mountaintop
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  #309  
Old 8th February 2013, 02:07
Kevin Hodge Kevin Hodge is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

i was attempting the ending of dead space 2 earlier and said "ok isaac, it'll need to wait, i'm off to work". we chatted briefly and when he heard about what its like working where i do, he immediately had a nervous breakdown, switched on a massive tunneling vehicle and ran full speed and screaming into its churning blades.
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  #310  
Old 6th May 2013, 02:37
Kevin Hodge Kevin Hodge is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

i used to have affairs with margaret thatcher and i cant cope with the recent claims that she is dead. i find myself staring into space wondering what she is doing at that precise moment - if she has come out of the shower, if she is drying her breasts yet, and if so, what music she has on while she's doing it. then i remember that her feminine mysteries, that organic constellation of fleshy magical spells, have been dissipated and indiscriminately redistributed skyward in a trite grey cloud

or i can be standing in the toilet peeing and i start wondering if the guys who cremated her were sympathetic to her legacy or if they stood around listening to her eyeballs pop and discussing whether she smelled more like turkey roasting or pork crackling. then i get so sad i just wander the streets looking for cigarette butts with some tobacco still in so that i can take them home and make roll-ups with the prole leftovers and mix in some of my stash of clippings of the iron lady's soft and intimate under-fur and just chain-smoke them all day.
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  #311  
Old 6th May 2013, 02:54
josh.t josh.t is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

Jack Bauer ejaculates 45 caliber bullets... oh wait, were supposed to be lying arent we.
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  #312  
Old 18th September 2014, 23:39
CyprusPluto CyprusPluto is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I'm an alien from another world and only visit your planet, Sol3, to watch re-runs of Jeremy Kyle
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  #313  
Old 30th September 2014, 00:50
Gog Gog is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I've made so many good friend on SAUK and its really helped me with my mental problems.
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  #314  
Old 30th September 2014, 01:01
FunkyMonkey FunkyMonkey is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

^ ouch lol

im not wearing a onesie
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  #315  
Old 30th September 2014, 06:16
CyprusPluto CyprusPluto is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I'm fast asleep now, as it 5am and have been all night
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  #316  
Old 30th September 2014, 21:16
Silent Ninja Silent Ninja is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I'm a very well adjusted and completely normal person.
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  #317  
Old 30th September 2014, 21:18
thaigreen thaigreen is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I love living with my family, we get along great
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  #318  
Old 30th September 2014, 21:30
Z. Z. is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I really love fruit and veg. I love tomatoes so much, I didn't even vomit when I first tried one.
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  #319  
Old 30th September 2014, 21:37
Rocket Spud Rocket Spud is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

It's become a family ritual for whoever finishes their Sunday roast last (on a Sunday), to perform a belly dance to whatever Peter Andre track of their choosing.
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  #320  
Old 1st October 2014, 12:30
Focused Focused is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

Them IS militants are great people

:p
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  #321  
Old 1st October 2014, 12:46
You Have 0 New Messages You Have 0 New Messages is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

My neighbour's new kitchen sounds lovely.
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  #322  
Old 1st October 2014, 12:55
Gog Gog is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I want to kiss Nigel Farage on the lips and have his babies.
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  #323  
Old 1st October 2014, 20:29
Silent Ninja Silent Ninja is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I'm a really happy and positive person and I enrich the lives of all those I meet.
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  #324  
Old 1st October 2014, 23:51
Gog Gog is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I often pull down my pants and crap on the floor in WH Smith if they dont have the latest issue of great british locomotives magazine.
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  #325  
Old 2nd October 2014, 00:03
Focused Focused is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I don't tell lies.
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  #326  
Old 3rd October 2014, 13:55
Gog Gog is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I like to hide in church doorways dressed as a monk then jump out and scare vicars.
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  #327  
Old 3rd October 2014, 14:10
You Have 0 New Messages You Have 0 New Messages is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I'd like to give David Cameron a hug.
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  #328  
Old 3rd October 2014, 14:23
Z. Z. is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

The two women in the bakery today who were complaining about those on job seekers, and who said they were voting Conservative in the next election, were very intelligent and well informed.
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  #329  
Old 3rd October 2014, 22:30
You Have 0 New Messages You Have 0 New Messages is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

Quote:
Originally Posted by stoopkid
oh me too...he looks so ' huggable', right?

i am a well balanced, clear thinking, over achiever who should really slow down a little to give others time to catch up.
Did I say hug? I meant cudgel.. I mean, cudgel.. erm (strains) cuddle.
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  #330  
Old 3rd October 2014, 22:54
Clayman Clayman is offline
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Default Re: tell lies

I like to lick the salt and vinegar off chips and put them back in the packet.
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