If I stopped posting who would care?

[firemonkey]

It's not as though people are really interested in what I post. I just haven't got the knack of making posts that people want to reply to.
Some people have it,that special something, I don't.

[newbs16]

I would, I love your posts they are so informative and very interesting x

[pheys]

if people don't reply, so what? consider it a chance to rant and get stuff of your chest.
it's all good

[Rummy]

Originally Posted by firemonkey

It's not as though people are really interested in what I post. I just haven't got the knack of making posts that people want to reply to.
Some people have it,that special something, I don't.

I certainly would miss you Firemonkey.

You are special, by bringing something different to SAUK - which is a very good thing. May be because of that difference some SAUKers don't feel qualified to give an answering post. Also remember you taking something I posted to mean the opposite of my intention (taking it particularly badly). I didn't put it clearly and others saw it the same way you did too (so my fault, not yours). But do think I need to be careful what I say in replying to your posts in case of unintentionally upsetting you and I've sometimes deleted a written reply instead of posting.

But you are an enormous attribute to SAUK and hope you'll stay around. We've also had a valuable insight from you on what it's like in Britain with a more serious mental illness than SA. Try not to be offended if a post gets no/little in reply, it happens to all of us.

[Dougella]

Me! You actually inspired me to start my first ever thread the other day. I saw an article that I thought people might find interesting and I thought 'firemonkey posts interesting articles and studies and I enjoy reading them and the discussions about them. Maybe I can post one too'.

[BritishPeace]

I like your posts

[firemonkey]

To a large extent I can understand not replying to the links. I tend to find though that my non link posts don't also receive much response.
Maybe it's because my illness/problems are a little different than those of the average poster here and don't really connect with others' experiences.

[Helly]

Replies aren't everything, I just like to sit and think about some posts you definitely have value to the lurkers (which I include myself in).

[umm]

Originally Posted by firemonkey

It's not as though people are really interested in what I post. I just haven't got the knack of making posts that people want to reply to.
Some people have it,that special something, I don't.

One of your posts had 61 replies and spawned a long-lasting discussion. That's more than I've ever had (not that my bar is a particularly high one )

[girlinterrupted]

I would,I think your posts often offer a different viewpoint or information on subjects otherwise not mentioned much on here. I haven`t posted here regularly for a long time and when I do it tends not to be in the more serious threads anymore as I either feel whatever I would have said has already been covered or (more and more often) I just haven`t been in the right frame of mind to enter serious subjects. That doesn`t mean they don`t add value to the board or offer a starting point for some interesting discussions though,I think we need a variety of subject types and personality types to keep the board balanced and interesting.

I know how disheartening it can feel if you don`t get as many replies as you hope (one of my threads got either 0 or 1 I think,weeeee ) but as others have said some of your discussions have run for quite a while,so it`s not the case of being deliberately ignored moreso some subjects strike a chord with people at different times. This thread alone should give you confidence in that Keep posting!

[firemonkey]

Are we conditioned to focus on the negatives ? I think I am to a large extent. I can get 10 good comments but if I get one bad one that's the one that sticks in my mind.
A regular hang up of mine is replies to my posts. What I tend to see is the number of times they get no or few replies(negative) the occasions when I get quite a few(positive) don't seem to register as much. As a result I am often left feeling unwanted or somehow not good enough.
I think a lot is lack of self esteem- a throwback to bullying and peer rejection as a teen. I guess if I was confident I'd think "f*** you,see if I care" to those who choose not to reply to my posts, but rightly or wrongly it brings up those memories of peer rejection and the reasons behind it(physical and social awkwardness).

[umm]

Originally Posted by firemonkey

Are we conditioned to focus on the negatives ? I think I am to a large extent. I can get 10 good comments but if I get one bad one that's the one that sticks in my mind.
A regular hang up of mine is replies to my posts. What I tend to see is the number of times they get no or few replies(negative) the occasions when I get quite a few(positive) don't seem to register as much. As a result I am often left feeling unwanted or somehow not good enough.
I think a lot is lack of self esteem- a throwback to bullying and peer rejection as a teen. I guess if I was confident I'd think "f*** you,see if I care" to those who choose not to reply to my posts, but rightly or wrongly it brings up those memories of peer rejection and the reasons behind it(physical and social awkwardness).

I think we're conditioned - no, conditioned is the wrong word; I think we've evolved to focus on things that confirm our identity. So if you can reimagine your identity (God that sounds like utter psychobabble), then the things that don't confirm it are easier to dismiss. For example, you say: "If I was confident I'd think F**k off". Well, think about just that for the moment. Are you thinking about it? Think about doing what you said, or even just believing it and acting as if it were true. Got it? Okay, so by your logic, you are now confident yay! Of course, acting on it is probably a little much in this case, but consider all those rejecting peers in your past who must all be now of a dither and horribly confused about things because their favourite target has told them to p1$$ off teehee. Laugh at them running about, the dears.

You see? A reply.

[firemonkey]

I think it doesn't help that over 58 years I've struggled to make friends and am very aware of my social interaction difficulties. Something that's only been superficially acknowledged and little or no help given(with social skills) over 40+ years of psychiatric treatment .
Interacting with others is something I struggle to do with any success.
I do think that aspergic/non verbal learning disorder tendencies go a long way to explaining my social difficulties both as an adult and a child/teenager. Unfortunately those have never been recognised and therefore help not given by a mental health service with a far from holistic approach .

[Clayman]

I look at the stuff you write and can relate to the peer rejection and bullying

[CliffHanger]

Originally Posted by Helly

Replies aren't everything, I just like to sit and think about some posts you definitely have value to the lurkers (which I include myself in).

I include myself in that too. Keep posting.

[Armadillo]

Maybe the question should be, if you stopped posting would you care?

[firemonkey]

Originally Posted by Armadillo

Maybe the question should be, if you stopped posting would you care?

I think if I stopped posting here it would have a knock on effect in that I'd start thinking about other forums and whether I should quit them too. It would certainly accentuate the loneliness and isolation. Limited interaction via the internet is better than no interaction at all.
I'd end up sleeping more,eating more, and watching more junk tv.

[Armadillo]

Then you should not stop posting

I've not been here very long, but my understanding so far is that this is somewhere you can be yourself, be honest about your feelings, and others are here for you. How many replies you get doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things, what matters is that you are here, you belong, and you have people here.

[CliffHanger]

^ what she said :-) She's a wise one that Armadillo.

[Coffee]

Personally, I've grown to quite like your posts.

I often disagree with your point of view, but I like that you are research orientated and generally pose questions that are aimed at understanding the depth of an issue and actually doing some good on here.

[Bluebear]

I'm "just" a "lurker" but I'd care..