Avoiding

[Paladin]

Do you have things you avoid in your life? are they important or not so much?

My avoidance can be pretty extreme, for example when I started university I avoided leaving my room if I could hear people outside, I kept this up for pretty much the whole year, and also avoided talking to people really cause I felt like such a freak so I made no friends.

Another thing I've done for a long time is going on the internet, finding articles, political news, watching videos etc. I can forget about things for a little while. Sometimes I can spend the whole day doing this which is really not about entertainment but it's about avoiding uncomfortable feelings/things I know I should be doing.

For me I feel tired and unmotivated a lot of the time which definitely lends itself to avoidance, as everything seems so difficult.

Regarding the thread about brave SAers, in all honesty I think I am quite a lazy SAer.

[Sadie]

Im a lazy SAer too! If something is too scary and will take effort I will avoid it - hence I am not getting any better.
Ive avoided a wedding this year, I avoid leaving my house if I can hear the neighbours outside, the kitchen at work if I see people in there, the toilet at work if I see people from my section going in, the filing storage, I have so far made excuses not to go to a fitness class I love even though Im paying £30 a month for it. Oh and Ive avoided a mates hen day at a spa.
Im so lame and a crap friend

[am1000]

I avoid a lot of things, or put them off and keep putting them off... (which is a form of avoidance. As soon as I start thinking about something it's avoidance time - it's like if I've done it in my head, I don't actually have to do in reality. There are some things that make me really, really anxious as well, which I usually just avoid full stop. The thing is though, if I psyche myself up and actually do something, there's very rarely any problems.

[black_mamba]

Originally Posted by Jacob's Ladder

Do you have things you avoid in your life? are they important or not so much?

My avoidance can be pretty extreme, for example when I started university I avoided leaving my room if I could hear people outside, I kept this up for pretty much the whole year, and also avoided talking to people really cause I felt like such a freak so I made no friends.

Another thing I've done for a long time is going on the internet, finding articles, political news, watching videos etc. I can forget about things for a little while. Sometimes I can spend the whole day doing this which is really not about entertainment but it's about avoiding uncomfortable feelings/things I know I should be doing.

For me I feel tired and unmotivated a lot of the time which definitely lends itself to avoidance, as everything seems so difficult.

Regarding the thread about brave SAers, in all honesty I think I am quite a lazy SAer.

Something strikes me as odd in this post. You went to university, so how dare you call yourself lazy! I'm guessing attending uni is not an easy thing to do for you as it was for me and pretty much everyone who has ever been to uni?

Also, avoidance is ok sometimes. Let it happen (I avoided people in halls too - they weren't my kind of people). It obviously isn't ruling your life completely otherwise you would never have gone to uni, so don't beat yourself up about it.

Go easy on yourself.

[Mortigantoj]

^ I went to uni, but I'm lazy missed most of my lectures but still somehow managed to pass!

[Sadie]

I went to uni, and somehow managed to avoid everyone there too!

[black_mamba]

Originally Posted by Mortigantoj

^ I went to uni, but I'm lazy missed most of my lectures but still somehow managed to pass!

Don't invite me to take the piss out of your degree, I can't resist.

[Phool]

Actually this sounds more like depression rather than just SA because you mention lethargy, lack of motivation etc.

I avoid my extended family the most, they are just too loud and there is to many of them and mostly they are just bitching behind each others backs. Makes it difficult when I have to go to birthdays, weddings and funerals.

[Reasonable Doubt]

I don't know whether it's SA or just me being generally bone idle, but I do my best to avoid more or less anything that will force me out of my comfort zone and even when I do end up doing something remotely challenging it tends to come after several weeks of dithering and procrastination. I still let my parents do far more for me than I should at my age and if it wasn't for them pushing me to do stuff, I'd probably spend my days sat around in my dressing gown watching Sky Sports News.

[Stumble]

I try not to avoid things if SA is the only reason.
I still avoid a lot though.

Sometimes I avoid meeting particular people (e.g. if I think there is going to be a confrontation, I think they are p****d with me etc) and that is never good. The more you avoid them, the more you imagine meeting them will be awkward (particularly if I have been less than subtle about avoiding them) so the more important it is to avoid.

[AxelFendersson]

Originally Posted by Mortigantoj

^ I went to uni, but I'm lazy missed most of my lectures but still somehow managed to pass!

Me too, except the whole 'managing to pass' thing. Apparently, understanding quantum physics does actually require some work. Who'd have thought?

[loner1]

i have avioded everything. i avioded most situations when i was sectioned. university was bad and now gone. cant avoid my death though that is inevitable.

[nessa456]

I mainly avoid people and housework.

[catlover]

Originally Posted by Jacob's Ladder

My avoidance can be pretty extreme, for example when I started university I avoided leaving my room if I could hear people outside, I kept this up for pretty much the whole year, and also avoided talking to people really cause I felt like such a freak so I made no friends.

When I was at university first-year, I felt totally alienated from my dorm-mates. Stayed inside my room with the door closed. The people on my floor thought I was nuts. Next year, moved off-campus into a private apartment (flat).
Still had no friends but felt less self-conscious.

Originally Posted by Phool

I avoid my extended family the most, they are just too loud and there is to many of them and mostly they are just bitching behind each others backs. Makes it difficult when I have to go to birthdays, weddings and funerals.

I get along well with Mom and Dad, but not with brother and sister. Their personalities are totally opposite of mine.
As a result, I'm basically estranged from them. I mean, I'd help them if they were in trouble, but we just have nothing
in common.

Originally Posted by Mortigantoj

I went to uni, but I'm lazy missed most of my lectures but still somehow managed to pass!

Fundamentally, I'm also a lazy person, but at university I studied hard. Having no friends, and recognizing that I wasn't
going to get anywhere on charm and good looks, I immersed myself in my classes. Got good grades, but didn't develop
any sort of love for academics which is supposed to be the goal of university life I think.

Originally Posted by AxelFendersson

Me too, except the whole 'managing to pass' thing. Apparently, understanding quantum physics does actually require some work. Who'd have thought?

Hah!! Do they sell "Cliff Notes" for that subject?