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#1
27th June 2019, 10:30
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Still living with Parents in your 40s!
I'm living with my mum and I'm 42. I get on with her and closer to her than I was to my Dad but there are times she can be a pain! If I go out at night I have to pick her up from her friends house which is only 2 minutes down the road as she gets scared walking back at night!
Can't really bring back women if I get lucky (lol). I don;t really tell anyone except for close friends I live with my mum and when I'm talking to women I just tell them I live with a friend. Last girl I was seeing was from Mexico and I eventually told her! It wasn't a big deal for her as I think thats part of the culture in South America. (My mum is from South America too) My parents still lived together even though they were divorced. My sister moved out in her 20s which I was so happy about and also I got her room! So when my mum went to live with her boyfriend I was still living with my dad! Eventually my mum got money from her share of the house and I went to live with her in a nice council Flat! It is a lot better than the House we lived in as my Dad never bought anything new and although my mum tried her best to keep the house tidy it didn;t look that great inside! Even though I've achieved many things in my life while living with anxiety like being able to talk to women, get girlfriends, overcome many fears like making my own hair/medical appointments, use public transport, and speak up in a Restaurant or shop if I had been short changed or my order mixed up the next big challenge is to move out and live independantly! My sister was able to move out because she got a good job, she was a stronger person but I still feel lost and stuck! Its like my mum has made me codependant on her. I fear that if I did move out I'd be homeless in a week and all the bills would get on top of me! Right now I just pay council tax and rent! I also have my own personal bills like my mobile phone, gym, and car insurance. I'm scared that if I moved out I'd have to cut back on some of my interests and that I wouldn't be able to save money the way I have been! That I'd be living from paycheck to paycheck! At the moment I've been temping, infact for the same company for almost 3 years but theres been not hint of going permanent even though I think my boss would be lost without me! Before I was getting irregular work, like a week here or there although I had a long adhoc job for 6 months before this job but the work would have eventually ran out! So there would have been no way I could sustain living on my own on these terms! I've watched doumentaries of people living on benefits and how dire their circumstances are. I don't want to live like that! Before I got this job I was on benefits which I didn't want to do but it meant that me and my mum got a reduction in our rent and council tax. With my Dad passing away I believe I will receive some inheritance so I coudl put it towards a place of my own. But I don't want to blow it all. I'd like to invest it and make it grow. My sister said I should get a place of my own, help to buy scheme or something! But even if I do get a place, I don;t even know how to use a washing machine. I guess with food I could get takeaways or microwave and I have put food in the oven but apart from that I can't really cook! Anyone else in the same boat? 
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#2
27th June 2019, 13:58
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Re: Still living with Parents in your 40s!
Sometimes there can be a level of codependency with adult children who live with a parent and that's not healthy for either side (ofcourse that's not always the case, just for some people).
There are things you can start doing now to make sure you'd cope better living on your own, like get your Mum to show you how to use the washing machine and start doing your own laundry and maybe try cooking your own meals a few times a week. Midlife bookworm makes a good point about looking at the sums of what you might be living on and see what that would look like. If you had enough inheritance to put down a deposit to buy your own flat mortgage payments can sometimes be less than rent. You do have to factor in the fact that you would be responsible for any repairs or anything that goes wrong though. Another factor might be that if you got into a relationship and someone else was living with you then you could both share the costs of everything.
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