how many times can you say pardon without feeling stupid?

[scratch]

There's two guys at work I have particular difficulty in having a conversation with. Why? Because I can't understand what the hell they are saying!

Both have pretty strong accents (one northern English, the other Asian).

The problem is how many times can you say 'pardon' to a word/end of sentence you didn't quite understand before pretending to know what they've said (assuming you didn't get it the 2nd or 3rd time).

I feel so embarrassed about saying pardon more than once I normally just pretend I knew what they said the second time and that can lead to an embarrassing end to the conversation

something like this:

HIM: What did you think of the XXXXX?

ME: pardon?

HIM: What did you think of the XXXXX?

ME, STILL WITH NO IDEA WHAT THE LAST WORD WAS: errrr, yeah great!

HIM: really? (surprised)

ME WITH FACE GOING RED: errr (quickly changing subject) did you watch the game last night?

arghhhh!!!

[W!llow]

I hate that scenario! I do ask sometimes 2 possibly 3 times though by that stage its getting agonising. Another scenario I hate is when people expect you to be able to hear them talking over a band, a friend insists on trying to talk and of course I can't hear, but she is persistent, she also is a bit deaf in one ear anyway so it's a nightmare! So neither of us can hear what the other is saying but she keeps going! It makes me feel like I'm being an awkward sod or that I'm totally deaf or something but in reality I think it just is a bad time to try to talk.

[tommy]

I agree with you except I'm usually in the other boat- people seem not to always understand what I'm saying, not because I have a funny accent, but because I am unconfident in my delivery and end up mumbling. I really hate that

[-Simon-]

I've experienced this from both sides, not hearing what others are saying and not being heard/understood. Sounds gross but I found having my ears cleaned out made a huge difference (are you caled 'waxman' for a reason?), asking people to repeat themselves had become a bit of a default response for me so I suspect people got fed up of it. I admit I even said 'what?' when I'd understood well enough what was said, just because it bought me some more time to digest the info and formulate a response - I don't blame anyone for getting annoyed with that.

edit: p.s. lovin' the avatar

[HardRockGlamour]

I don't know what it is, but I have a hard time hearing people. The place that really comes to mind, is the hairdressers. I've now decided to find a mobile hairdresser, which I should have done all along, but I've been going to a local little place for ages. Most of the time when they spoke to me, I didn't catch what they said. And they are often instructions, like to get up, sit up, come over, or they've asked me a question and I'm unresponsive, or I go 'sorry?' ...
Don't get me started on the orthodontist I can never understand his accent...

[scratch]

I don't think there's anything wrong with my hearing but some accents are really difficult for me to understand. I work with geordies, scouse, welsh, irish, asian, russian, and polish and some of them speak really fast while some mumble quietly.

Having a conversation with someone who speaks queen's english is difficult enough for any SA sufferer but with a fast speaker with a strong accent its even more of a challenge

But like Tommy I sometimes mumble myself and people don't know what I'm saying so I can imagine if I had a conversation with my doppelganger I would probably end up saying 'pardon?'

[shy_guy89]

as many times as it takes me to hear them, i have no shame lol, or until they say "are you f.....g deaf?"

[W!llow]

eh?

[Nikkos]

I wonder why then stressed its harder for us to take in and understand what others are saying i also sometimes say "what" when i know what was said just to give me sometime..

[Undecided]

Originally Posted by tommy

I agree with you except I'm usually in the other boat- people seem not to always understand what I'm saying, not because I have a funny accent, but because I am unconfident in my delivery and end up mumbling. I really hate that

That happened to me a lot at school. Even though I don't get asked to repeat myself much anymore, I still worry in social situations that I'm not talking loudly or clearly enough.

Another thing that annoys me is when you say pardon once and the other person replies 'it doesn't matter'. Well, it mattered enough for you to say it in the first place...

[Amber Fyre]

I am terrible with certain accents (especially the French accent!), I often have to ask people to repeat things a few times. After a couple of times I just kind of laugh about it though, instead of getting flustered about it I just laugh about it with them and will perhaps ask them to pronounce the word a bit slower or something. Or if I *think* I know what word they said I'll repeat that word back in a question format, or say what I think the word sounded like. Then they can correct it if needbe. I'd never be able to answer a question if I didn't know what they'd asked, I can imagine that potentially leading to some sticky situations! With most things in life, I think it's good to just laugh about things if you can, rather than let it get to you. Perhaps easier said than done of course.

[Peasie]

A couple of times I've gave up and ended up saying "I haven't a clue what you are saying" - usually because the person has had a few drinks.

It does happen quite a lot in dreams I have. I hate answering the phone in my dreams because of this.

[Winnie57]

There's someone at work who speaks very softly but he seems to get offended if I ask him to repeat himself (or maybe it's just me being paranoid). Sometimes I must admit I pretend to hear what people say because I think asking to repeat is a nuisance.