#1
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Do you ever wonder how it will all end?
Will you die peacefully in your sleep surrounded by a big loving family in a nice detached house somewhere? Or...not!? SA is like a prison. I know I should get out and earn money, build relationships, etc...but I can't. Now I'm in my 40s I'm starting to think about the end. And how it will all end. I suppose isolated and drooling in a council run care home.
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#2
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Re: Do you ever wonder how it will all end?
Since I turned 40 I have thought about it a great deal. I have no partner, no kids, no niece or nephew, few friends and no extended family, other than a younger sister. I've always expected to die alone, possibly by suicide, in a grotty flat or bungalow somewhere. And that may well be my fate. I can't face an old people's home. My vague plan is to take a massive overdose of opioids, or maybe wear myself down with heroin, etc, when I'm really old. I doubt I'd have the courage though.
In the short term, things ain't looking good either. I've got no job, and I'm still crippled with SA. Next thing will be my mother's ageing and death. She's 72 now, so who knows what horror is on the horizon: cancer, Alzheimers, Parkinson's...? When she dies my sister will collapse. Not only will I have to cope with my own grief, I'll have to watch her fall apart. I honestly don't know if she'll come through it. Beyond that I'm ****ed. I'll have to find better paid work, which means some awful job in Tesco or something. And I'll have to sell this house and move into a small one bedroom place on a new estate. Poverty and a lonely old age and death, that's all I see ahead of me. Oh to have never been born! |
#3
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Re: Do you ever wonder how it will all end?
^ Since you have a younger sibling if you don't have a partner when you're older ( or if they passed away before you) it's more than likely that your sister will be with you at the end. My Mum was there with my uncle as he passed away, and visited him a lot while he was ill as he had a terminal illness. I know that he appreciated that a lot as he had been married but he was divorced so didn't have a partner with him.
I don't wonder how things will be at the end right now and I try not to think about it too much, I'm more concerned about my parents too. |
#4
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Re: Do you ever wonder how it will all end?
I try not to think too much about when the time comes, because accept for a lucky few (who die unexpectedly and peacefully in their sleep after a long and fulfilling life), for most of us the process leading up to death is often a pretty horrendous one.
I don't think having a spouse or children is any guarantee at all that you won't end up dying alone in some grotty bedsit, or spending those final days isolated and drooling in a shabby council run care home. Spouses often die years apart so there will always be one of them who is left to wither and die without the comfort of the other, and sadly there are people who have also long outlived their children. And people who do still have living relatives or 'friends' have sometimes been abandoned and forgotten by them long ago. I care much much more that the people I love will have a comfortable and peaceful end than whatever lies in store for me. Death is the only sure certainty for all of us so it feels a bit pointless wasting the life that we do have left worrying about how and when. I think that when the end comes for a loved one or yourself you cope with it, somehow, because there really isn't any other alternative. Moksha, your future may be no where near as bleak as you imagine it to be. Often people over 40 and 50 enter into relationships they thought they'd never have. Also, rather than falling apart on the loss of your mother your sister may be stronger than you think and be a great source of comfort to you and you to her during your later years. Who know's, the Earth may be hit by a massive meteorite tomorrow and that will be the end of that |
#5
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Re: Do you ever wonder how it will all end?
I don't really think about how it will end, although in my agoraphobic periods, I've imagined lying dead in the house, undiscovered until the flies swarm at the windows. I'm lucky enough to be enjoying the best period of my life, doing the things I love and having a loving partner (although we did split for 2 1/2 months, that was enough to know we can't live without each other).
Fate being what it is, I'll probably get hit by a bus / fall down some stairs (not mine, I live in a bungalow) / that meteor will land / I'll get kidnapped by Cambodian bandits or some other unforeseen circumstance will cut me off just as my life is beginning! However, my intention is to have a living will so that if I do lose my quality of life, I can go - or if I have the ability to get there, I'll do the Swiss thing. For now, though, I'm too busy living to think about dying and hope for at least another twenty years of good physical health so I can finish my bucket list. Sent from my SM-J330FN using Tapatalk |
#7
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Re: Do you ever wonder how it will all end?
^ You're vegan so it probably won't be a heart attack
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#8
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Re: Do you ever wonder how it will all end?
Quote:
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#9
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Re: Do you ever wonder how it will all end?
^ What a way to go!
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#10
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Re: Do you ever wonder how it will all end?
Lmao, I still haven't tried one. Imagine if my first one is the one that does me in. I'll make it my new year's resolution to try one, although by then with the hyper inflation, I'll likely be taking a wheelbarrow full of bank notes to pay for it.
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#11
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Re: Do you ever wonder how it will all end?
Oh I've been pondering death ever since I hit 30, mostly thinking about my parents who are 66 and not in great health at all.
I don't know how I'll go, the thought of death terrifies me, its pretty much the only thing you can't escape/have no control over and that bugs me. The thought of having some terminal disease and slowly rotting away (with my families track record I'll end up with dementia quite early) really doesn't appeal but I'm not sure I would be capable of taking matters into my own hands while I'm still "Ok" I'll probably just rot on my todd though, I have no siblings, once my parents are gone theres not really going to be anyone else...I don't like to look too far into the future, its ****ing grim. |
#12
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Re: Do you ever wonder how it will all end?
My nana had dementia for years before she died. I think I will die the same way unless I save up enough money to go to Switzerland. Now to go out there and get a job...
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#13
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Re: Do you ever wonder how it will all end?
I can't remember a time when I didn't think of my life as disposable, in a sort of 'If I die in my sleep tonight I won't be missing anything'. If I manage to reach old age I can't imagine thinking any differently. I'm probably the opposite to most people in that I hope I don't have any loved ones around me, that me dying won't really have much of any negative impact. I've all but decided that post-60, the first sign of cancer or dementia and I'm gobbling a big bag of sleeping pills.
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#14
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Re: Do you ever wonder how it will all end?
In his book The Charge, Brendon Burchard tells of a near fatal accident that led him to rethink how he was living his life. Because of this experience, he concluded that when death does come, there are three questions we are all forced to answer:
Did I live? Did I love? Did I matter? https://www.makeavisionboard.com/what-is-happiness/ |
#15
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Re: Do you ever wonder how it will all end?
I want a viking funeral.
That would do me. |
#16
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Re: Do you ever wonder how it will all end?
Quote:
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#17
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Re: Do you ever wonder how it will all end?
Im not much bothered about how it will end for me. Ive helped more than Ive harmed and I've done everything I had a burning ambition to plus a whole lot more i didn't even intend. Not that Im religious and think any of that will matter a jott. I wonder more about the world my 8 yr brother will grow into. Sometimes I think that this next 5-10 years will be the last gasp of humanity as we've known it. Where people will have to choose whether the path we're heading on is one of progress as in good things or progress as in inevitability and then what to do about it if indeed anything can be done.
I hope after the fact we get to at least spectate to see what happens. |
#18
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Re: Do you ever wonder how it will all end?
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but a whimper. |
#19
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Re: Do you ever wonder how it will all end?
I hope it happens when I'm alone somewhere, I wouldn't want to embarrass myself in public or put any out to help me
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#20
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Re: Do you ever wonder how it will all end?
Quote:
My ideal method would be to go up the mountain behind my house in winter , strip naked, drink a bottle of decent whisky (Laphroaig) to anaesthetise myself and then let myself freeze to death. My body could then at least be used by the ravens, buzzards and eagles to nourish themselves. Gradually, I would return to the Earth which, ultimately, we are all destined to return to in one form or another. |
#21
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Re: Do you ever wonder how it will all end?
It won't end well, that I do know.
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#22
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Re: Do you ever wonder how it will all end?
Quickly i hope, and the way i feel right now, the sooner the better.
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