Re: how is everyone feeling? (1)

aww buffster - I'm feeling - manic (Emote: roundnround)

I want to be violent towards myself. I want to cut and I've been thinking of suicide methods all day, I haven't felt like this in ages. (Emote: sad)

(((Amelie)))

Has anything in particular happened to bring this on? You can pm me if you want to talk privately (Emote: smile)

(((buffybot))) The same goes for you (Emote: smileyellow)

Quote: Amelie_ at 19***58;29***58;31 Sun May 22 2005
I want to be violent towards myself. I want to cut and I've been thinking of suicide methods all day, I haven't felt like this in ages. (Emote: sad)

aww louise I know how you feel - I truly do, don't kill yourself.. you are ace babe

buffybot & Amelie (Emote: hugs)

Absolutely shite. Nobody loves me, nobody ever will. Nobody will even be my friend. People see me as a piece of rubbish that is only good for putting out for the dustmen. Oh yes, I was consigned to the dustbin of desinty long ago, why have I held on so long?

awww boc (Emote: hugs) dont say things like that, i dont see u as a piece of rubbish and im sure ppl on here dont either (Emote: smile)
im sure u will find someone to love u , i know its hard but u never know what will happen.


im feeling good. moved some of my stuff into the new flat. ive got this week off work ( ive left my workplace now ) and i start my new one a week tomorow (Emote: eekpurple) im trying not to think about that till the night before i start (Emote: ohwell)

Boc - (Emote: hugs) sorry you're feeling down.

magika - you're right not to think about your new workplace until the night before (Emote: pirate) Hope it all goes well (Emote: smile)

I'm feeling exhausted - had quite a few very stressful events socially, now it's all over I'm scared my m.s is going to get bad (Emote: shake) Feels like it's going to (Emote: sad)

Like shite. I've remembered why I don't ever post on any of the threads in the basement - I take it so personally when someone disagrees with me and makes what I perceive to be a sarcastic comment. (Emote: crying)

I think in future, I will stick to making petty, banal posts about the weather and what boring, miserable MP3s I'm listening to. It's all I'm good for. I feel so thick compared to some people here.

I don't know how anyone can take me seriously with that stupid ****ing Michael Jackson gif prancing around below my posts. [1 edits; Last edit by Amelie_ at 17:07:19 Mon May 23 2005]

it's a shame you feel that way amelie, because i have found a lot of your more serious posts very interesting and can certainly identify with a lot of things you've said. i even thought of pming you for a while because we seem similar in a lot of ways (eek, hope you dont find that too insulting) but i'm a bit shy about that sort of thing. so anyway, i for one hope you don't restrict your posting.

horrible and fat. had fish n chips from the chippy at lunch, wish i never had it now (Emote: shake)

I feel tired after work today, the person I work with had a day off today so I had to do 2 sections on my own when 3 people should be doing it, I had to work hard to get everything done and didn't have the time to do everything, its epecially difficult since alot of the stuff is heavy, I feel like my muscles are bigger since yesterday.

Quote: Amelie_ at 16***58;58***58;21 Mon May 23 2005
I think in future, I will stick to making petty, banal posts about the weather and what boring, miserable MP3s I'm listening to. It's all I'm good for. I feel so thick compared to some people here.

Why, what's happened?

About feeling thick, I completely understand, I feel like that when I'm here.

I'm feeling emotionally drained..........and I still miss my baby. (Emote: shake)

Quote: cavycrazy at 18***58;05***58;28 Mon May 23 2005
I'm feeling emotionally drained..........and I still miss my baby. (Emote: shake)

(Emote: hugs)

Thanks annie. (Emote: hugs)

Amelie, I for one am very fond of you and your postings, wouldn't like to see you cut back on anything. I feel stupid too sometimes, those political threads confuse the the hair off of me. And I always feel uncultered whenever anyone mentions a film/book/game/band I haven't got into. Er, what was my point? Oh yeah, pay no mind to the nagging self-criticism you've got going on. Speaking as someone who really doesn't have to sit up and type something like this at half two in the morning if he didn't want to, the way you're feeling about yourself really doesn't translate into how I, and no doubt, others see you.

And your dancing smooth criminal is fab. I used to love playing the game it's from in the arcade. You could turn into a robot and give Bubbles a piggyback and do this thing where you make all the enemies dance, even the dogs get down with it. It's currently my starey daydream signature of choice.

I meant to type something a bit more general than this, but I'm knackered now so here's a big wet snog for everyone (Emote: hugs) and I'm off to bed. Night night.

(Emote: hugs) for cavy

feel abit poo, bought a cd off ebay and its skipping ,my fault tho, diidnt read in the description where it said 2 tracks damaged doh (Emote: embarrassed) ive wasted 7 quid

Thanks magika. Sorry to hear about your CD.

Absolutely shite as usual. YET ANOTHER setback for me - when is anything going to go right for me? This year has been nothing but depression, frustration, rejection and disappointment.

Basically, you may remember I had an interview for a job last week, well of course I didn't get it. I just had The Letter. I suspect Little Miss Perfect, the loud, bossy, outgoing and insenstive girl who was the other candidate I knew of got it. After all, he (or she) who shouts loudest reaps the rewards.

I can't remember the last thing that went well for me. Maybe I should just crawl up into a hole and die. I just wish I had someone to comfort me in my time of need, a really nice whose shoulder I could cry on, to resue me from my despair.

Still, I am seeing Dr Dolittle this afternoon and giving her a very honest letter explaining how desperate and fed up I am with this dreadful depression and SA, I bet she will just laugh at me knowing my current run of bad luck.

Oh what a mess my life is in. oh what a hideous, useless loser I am. Self pity is all I have left. That and Sim City 4 are the only comforts I have. There is NOTHING left. What's the point any more? I am just so frustrated with this hell but just as I think it can't get any worse, another setback comes along and demolishes what little self confidence I have left.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG GGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (Emote: crying) (Emote: shocked)

Amelie I feel stupid as well, at least you post on the stuff in the basement and that takes guts (Emote: pirate)

(Emote: hugs) to you cavy

Sorry you wasted your money magika, I bid on something the other day and it was the wrong thing, I bloody won as well so had to pay a fiver for something I didn't want, and lost the thing I did, How stupid am I (Emote: shake)

Boc I'm so sorry you didn't get the job (Emote: hugs)

Sorry to hear you didnt get the job Boc,
I've had countless rejection letters for jobs, I sort of expect it now, but there are other jobs out there maybe something else will come up in the future.

sorry to hear about the job Boc - there does really seem to be a discrimination against quieter people, all this equal rights for people with diasabilaties, yeah great, but what about the terrible disability of social anxiety / shyness, I am very much penalised for it at work. A few people were shocked the other day when I was discussing my knowledge of resuscitation and stuff, they were saying 'oh , you actually are quite clever aren't you' they seem to think coz I don't advertise my knowledge by shouting my opinion about everything, that I know nothing. And I know i didn't get my last promotion coz I'm quiet. He said, 'you are quiet but that doesn't effect how well you can do the job, that's not why you didn't get it' yes but why would you make a point of saying that if my quietness wasn't an issue? Oh grrr (Emote: mad)
life stinks

Aww Boc (Emote: hugs) i feel for ya i really do (Emote: hugs) think of it as things can only get better, thats what i do when i feel shit (which is a fair bit lately)

Amelie (Emote: hugs) your far from thick, sweet you are lots more brainer than me (Emote: bricks)

Me, *sigh* feel pretty useless, lonely, crap, not worth the air i breath.....no life whats so ever, no friends, crap job....ho hum...ignore me p l e a s e just feeling sorry for my self i guess (Emote: bricks)

could someone please give me a hit over the head (Emote: shake)

(Emote: smash3) <---- for heart - shut it (Emote: smileyellow)

Ta IRIS just what the Doc ordered (Emote: biggrin)

sorry you ar feeling down tho heart (Emote: rubonhead)

Sorry to hear about the job Boc. Life likes throwing a lot of things at us in one go just to beat us up that little bit extra. You're not a loser. You're just having a run of bad luck, we've all had them. Maybe it wasn't the job for you anyway, they might have turned out to be a bunch of tossers.

Quote: Iris
They seem to think coz I don't advertise my knowledge by shouting my opinion about everything, that I know nothing.

I know that feeling. I feel like wearing a badge sometimes that says: "I might have a crappy job but that doesn't mean that I don't have qualifications because I do." - It would be a big badge. (Emote: biggrin)
The latest thing I get which is particularly annoying is one of the management staff keep asking me every day if I'm alright but in this whiny tone normally used to ask a child if they are ok. When I reply "Yes thank you" They look at me with these big cow eyes "Are you sure?" in a similar annoying voice. One of these days I'm going to loose control and say "Well actually you're really beginning to piss me off a bit, would you mind not asking me stupid questions and let us both get on with some work." (Emote: smash3)

Anyway my original reason for wandering into this thread is because I've had a nasty sore throat for four days now and I wanted to have somewhere to whine about it seeing as I'm on my own in the house.